trying to do better

[dove3053]

I'm trying to get off these pills and decided what I have been doing or not doing is not working.
I think I need to go back to AA. There is no NA around me but an AA 2 blocks away.

After going back and reading my posts I see I have been puting some of the blame on my boyfriend when in fact he is not forcing me to do anything. I was doing so good there for a week and almost over the worse part and I could see he was not happy when I begged him for a pill. He didn't want to say no fearing I would get mad and kick him out. I would do that when I was drinking a year ago. If anything he has tried to tell me to slow down. He use to say don't do a half do a quarter and wait 4 hours. I never listened to him. I just wanted to get high


Dove

[Jacqui805]

That's really brave of you to be honest with yourself, hell just taking the time to be introspective and objective with the things you've written.  I firmly believe that we all know what we're doing right, wrong, what needs to be done.  Sometimes we just need confirmation, or the blessing from others.  Sometimes it's something else.  Bottom line, we can kid ouselves for just so long, and we really know the truth the whole time, even if we refuse to listen to ourselves.  I think it's great that you're going to the meeting.  I'd agree with Goingtomakeit too, counseling may be of great service to you.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Honesty with yourself is always a good step. AA would be another good step too.
If you're having this much trouble getting clean. How can you expect to stay clean?
It sounds to me like counseling would benefit you. Get at the reasons you want to blot out the world. I just want to see you succeed in this.