trying to help

[babs1235]

I have a question my fiance is opiod addicted( o.c, perc 30s, percs) he has been using for 2 1/2 yrs now and refuses to go into rehab. Recently he has been talking about killing himself as well as told me he has used heroin 2x to try to overdose and die. What can I do to help him get clean before it's too late? I've already lost my brother and a good friend to heroin use. Also if hes already started to use heroin to do that will he continue to use for the sake of getting high? Please help me I can't lose someone else that I love!!!!!!!!!                       Thank you.

[GA Guy]

You could look into having him involuntarily committed. If he's made comments that he wants to hurt himself or others, most states allow him to at least be placed on a 72 hour hold. Maybe they would then see how bad he's doing and get him some help. You also need to work on getting yourself some help as well. This is definitely not something you can "fix", and getting married to him will only work towards ruining your life. Please, seek an Alanon meeting as soon as possible or get some help from local family services.

[LKT84]

Yeah i agree he has to want to quit. Honestly i first went to rehab when i was 18 and within 3 years i was in and out of rehab 15 times. sometimes i was forced to go other times i wanted to go but it never ended up working cause i really didnt want to stop. Addiction is the hardest thing to overcome. I ended up getting on methadone 4 years ago and still used drugsfor the first 2 and a half years. Getting on methadone was the worst thing i could have ever done though so i wouldnt recomend that either. ive been trying to get off of it for like 2 years now. i have 18months off heroin and all other substances but honestly the only reason i got that was because i became pregnant and i have an 8 mth old daughter  now. She has saved my life. i dont know where i would be if it werent for her. I had 3 weeks clean when i found out i was pregnant and then using wasnt an option after that. But its really hard you cant force somebody to get clean if they dont want to its not going to work. rehab is good though you do learn a ton about addiction and recovery and i think everytime i went to rehab i picked up a new peice of information that eventually helped me in the end. goog luck i really hope that he realizes what he is doing to himself and his life before it is too late.

[HealthySquid]

He has to want to quit.  I am sorry to say that you cannot "will" it on him.  When he tried to kill himself, did you put him in the hospital?  In my opinion, that is where he needs to be.  Also of note is that when someone does not care for their life, then they have no care for other's life which puts you in much danger.

After a while of using opiates, they no longer create the euphoria at the current dose and therefore the dose must be increased to have the same effects.  If he has been using for 2.5 yrs then surely he is more than likely at pretty high dosage.  

He is one that would seem to need professional help.  The drugs, aka opiates, cause depression and a feeling of hopelessness.  You remember the stories of Odysseus and the Sirens?  Well, liken opiates to the Sirens.  Those who took out their ear plugs heard the Siren's song and subsequently died.  Opiates suck a person in giving much euphoria  and pleasure but eventually, if not controlled, will cause addiction.  That addiction will only be stopped by death, jail, or a self willingness to stop.  There are no others way to stop the addiction.

I am sorry to hear that this is your boyfriend.  Sounds like he is continuing to use eventhough you disapprove.  Being blatantly honest, and in the words of Dr. Laura, please take steps to not get pregnant with him if you have chosen to stay with him.  Your boyfriend is a drug addict.  He has some major issues to which will probably need to be dealt with by a trained profession.  I know this is easy to say not being in your relationship but my advice to you is to write off this relationship as he is a danger to not only himself, but to you.  Maybe you leaving him will be one of the things that will make him hit his rock bottom to get help.

I wish you the best!