update from silk2197

[Silk2197]

Hi everyone.....

I am leaving MI today going back to GA. I had a wonderful time with the grandbaby and my family as usual. However the bf issue is another thing. We only saw each other once and no kiss no hug no anything. I saw him with another woman also! I don't know what to do right now. My feelings are all ova the place as well as my thoughts. I have not relapsed tho....I have been too filled with life to even think about that but back in dec....I would be popping just about anything to numb myself. I do think opiates ruined our relationship. I always thought I didn't want to be with him but as son as I got clean my feelings changed. Now this! He has been telling ppl he had no plans on moving with me and da kids back to MI....I never knew that! Wow right? So, I'm gonna keep on with the good fight. I have my children to live for. Funny how things work huh.....and to make the situation worse, its a woman I grew up with who says she had NO idea he and I were ever involved nor had children.....even tho I was told they have be seeing each other for a while now...while I'm thinking we were alright! I'm sorry to vent and ramble but u guys are all I have. I can't talk about this to Anybody else. I look stupid enuff!

[bama88]

glad you had a good time until he showed up. but you've got your kids...and its funny that when we clean up everything goes to shite. i think it  always there we were just numb from it. and now we see and feel everything....im sorry you had to see but in one way its good for you to see...without the pills....now you know the truth..and not taking pills seeing that is HUge. so you be proud of yourself girl. very proud

[minn66]

I definitely get what you mean. Funny, my ex-husband was the same way! When I wanted to end it he got all emotional and convinced me to stay. Just mind games. I did stay for a while because I again believed him. When I finally left it was hard because we had been together so long. I know... Fear of the unknown. I stayed single for years and then met the wonderful man who is my husband now. The thing is, I was in a place where I was happy just with me, my son, and my daughter. You are such a strong person, taking care of your children and doing what it takes to stay clean. Try to be kind to yourself. He is the cheat. You, on the other hand, are evolving and taking control of your life!

[Silk2197]

Thanks Minn66.....
Trying not to deal and really think about it but its not letting up. If he would have left during the times I asked him to it would be different but he would not let go. He was not there for me during my detox or anything. I may have talked to him once a day I think. And as horrible as I told him I felt he didn't come to help me through it. He kept saying what he was gonna do but it never happened. I also supported us and my 8 kids myself. So, looking at things at this very moment.....I may b hurting but it seems the signs may have been there all alone. However, don't live a lie. He should have told me how he felt. I'm grown and would never beg a man to stay with me...MAYBE THIS IS FOR THE BETTER. I FELT ALONE IN THIS RELATIONSIP FOR A WHILE NOW.

[minn66]

Silk, you aren't stupid! I am proud of you that you haven't looked to opiates to numb your pain. That is a HUGE accomplishment. I am so sorry for what happened. As they say, though, living well is the best revenge. Believe me, I understand your hurt and feeling of betrayal. My ex-husband slept with a friend while I was expecting our 17 year old son. I felt stupid, like everyone knew but me, and how could I be so naive? Just wanted to say I understand :)