waiting for far worse to happen....

[deannalynne85]

okay...yes I am still chugging along.  As of today I am 48 hours clean.  I have been on these darn tabs or twelve years with a consumptionm of sometimes up to twenty a day.  Started tapering last week and on Monday morning around 6 am I took my last one.  Now I am sitting here....yes I feel like crap but I actually feel better off them then on them.  I see that now.  I just keep thinking wow, this cant be that easy.  Dont get me wrong....its still hard but I actually am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have had a couple major things go on the past few days and actually handled them better off the tabs then on.  I know I am not home free yet.  I slept maybe 2 or 3 hoiurs last night and the night before.  Now this morning I didnt wake up in a full fledged panic attack as I did yesterday.  I might be babbling a bit here but I am just totally suprised at how I am handling this.  I am praying about every minute of every day and I do think the big guy upstairs is the only thing getting me thru this.  Any other time I have tried this I have been so ill and here I am actually functioning.  My mind is made up that this time this is it.  So far so good and I just wanted to post this....Oh yeah, I started taking vitamins a month or so ago, faithfully every day.  I have also been drinking a lot of water and kool-aid.  Yes I still have the bathroom issue but I am taking imodium for that.  I will keep posting for all who think it cant be done because it can.  I am living proof.  If you start to prepare yourself, the mind and the body before tackling this it is much easier. No more I dont think i can do this.  Its now I am doing this and with each day that passes I know I will feel better.   God Bless You All

[GMcp]

yay good for you! sounds like you are strong minded enough to do it! and you are feeling ok too! wow thats awesome, you keep it up! :) i bet bcuz u were taking the vits b4 u stopped for a month is y u r feelin so good, i found the vits to be VERY helpful too :) i hope you stay feeling this good for the next week and on :) congrats on 48 hours hun! xoxo

[sudie58]

your doing well! i know its hard but keeping positive helps a lot! no need for "i dont think i can do this"   you CAN! and are! take care and god bless.

[tgtiffany]

Good job!  Glad that you are doing well!!  Just keep up the good work and never look back :)  You're amazing!!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Don't forget about AFTERCARE.  :)

[country_girl100]

I am soooo happy for you!!! I am W/D-ing to and physically I have felt better this time than I ever did b4 (9 yr addiction to Oxy's). Maybe there's something in the air/water etc...LOL...I do have a question for you though. Even though the physical aspect is at least bearable, how are you doing with the mental aspect? This seems to be where I am struggling! Thanks and God bless!!

[deannalynne85]

I am still here and am proud to say I made it through yesterday and last night, I even slept last night about 4 hours and I am still feeling the same. I am now officially past my 72 hour mark...lol.... Dont get me wrong.....this is hard,..but I seemed to always have problems around day 2 and always caved by day 3.  I feel heavy so to speak.....kind of like I have concrete feet but other than that I am doing okay.  As far as after care goes I am not sure yet what I am going to do.  I have amazed myself that I have even made it this far.  I havent even began to deal with the mental aspect of this because I was so terrified that I would never get through the w/d.  I do believe taking the vitamins helped a lot and I have prayed, every minute of every day it seems like but something is totally different this time.  Now I keep thinking "why didnt I do this before".  lol.....anyway I will succeed this time.  I have never been more determined than I am now.  I will use this site a lot as even though I dont post everyday I do get on here and read about everyones success......and ......set-backs.  This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  As you said country girl, yes the mental part stinks, I did have a dream last night that I was in the Dr,s office and did wake up in a panicked sweat but that passed pretty quickly.  I have attended a few aa meetings and that is what I will probably continue to do.  My brother is a recovering addict and he goes to meetings so I am just going to tag along with him for a while.  I just keep in mind one day at a time.  This is the furtherst I have ever gone in almost 12 years.  I am going to go shopping today.  Not much, but as someone told me on this site to reward myself after ever milestone for a while.  I think 72 hours clean is a major milestone for me.  I have been up since 3 am but I have taken the trash out, picked up the house etc.....things I wouuldve never dreamed I could do without pills........Thank you all for you support and words of kindness........I dont think I could've ever gotten this far without the help from all the people on this site.  I originally started this journey at the end of April and as I said never made it past day 3. I am just so happy right now. It is so amazing how much clearer things get as each day passes.

May God Bless You All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zeke1982]

Congrats and keep it up you are doing great!!
Being mentally prepared for withdrawal plays a major part in it. I started taking vitamins, exercising little by little and drinking lots of water, on day 7 now and finally feeling a little better!

Dont give in no matter what, going thorugh WD gets harder and harder once you have gone through it before because you become terrified of the pain that will come.

[haley726]

I am in the same boat as you and physically I am struggling, but mentally for the most part I am so proud od myself that nothing can take that away (not even my concrete feet :)). I have 22 days off of methadone under my belt and there is no way I am going back. The first 2 weeks were literally hell, but now I am just dealing with my body trying to function on it's own again. I started taking vitamins too so that may have something to do with it, but like you I just surrendered to God to get through it. And that's the only way to go. Not only am I getting my body back in order, but I have also re-newed my relationship with Him and that is the best feeling in the world. We have taken that big hole we were filling with meds and gave it to God. And in return He filled it with the Holy Spirit. We both have a long way to go, and if you read some of my posts I have been up and down and back up again. But I know I am better than yesterday, and if I keep with it (which I will), I will be even better tomorrow. Even if it one of my "bad" days, I know I am on my way. Good luck and God bless.

[tgtiffany]

Yay!!!  You are AMAZING!!!  You're doing super awesome!!!  That's so good :)  Keep your head up and you will make it, you're going to do this!!!  I love that you are going shopping, buy something for me too okay?!  lol just kidding!!!  I love it though!  Awesome!  Just think about how much shopping you will be able to do after it's all over and you don't have to worry about the pills anymore :)  Keep it up!!!