well.....I failed....

[verdigo]

So sorry to you out there that stuck with it. I just got a call from my mom today saying that my Grandmother is about to pass. She is my last grandmother I have and am very sad today. I used....normally I use oxy but I am taking vicoden fives and 1 about every 4 to 5 hours....I just couldn't deal with it. I have an appointment for suboxone and I don't even know if I am going to be able to keep it because of the funeral and such. Driving from ks to ohio would take alot of time the funeral then coming back I'd probably be gone 5 days....maybe the doc will work with me but I doubt it. But I just want to give a boost to all of you that are still with it and facing the w/ds I went almost 48 hours then ran to ER. I feel so bad but at least I have it in my mind that I want out....I found a good song today and it may be my theme song from now on....if you don't know it  look it up ...its Guns and Roses and the song is called MR. Brownstone....it is a song that I beleive to be about heroin use and what GnR thought about heroin which could also be compaired to vicoden,oxy ect....CHECK IT OUT it will give you courage.
Peace to you all and God be with you who are detoxing I know what you are feeling and the hell you are going through.
RESPECTFULLY!
Verdigo

[watermom]

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother as well.  That is really hard.  You know  you want to quit and that is the important thing. You have a plan and you are posting...that is big.  Hang in there and we will be here when you get back.

As far as the Guns n Roses song....I know it VERY WELL.  It was popular when I was in highschool.....and I had the BIGGEST crush on Axl Rose...yes...yes I did. I even wanted to get a tattoo of him...THANK GOD I had some sense back when I was 18 not to.  Can't live that one down.  Yes, it is about heroin use.  I haven't heard it in a long time though.  Maybe I will try and find it on the internet.  

Anyway...don't beat yourself up....you will win this battle or shall I say war.  Have a safe trip.

[worried878]

I lost my grandmother recently...we always connected...I miss her...But you know sometimes I think than after people pass, they may be looking down from haven at me...and watching me and what I do....Man if that is true...i hope she didnt see me lately...Hope she can see me now tho!  I dont mean to sound weird here...just something I wonder about

[rosebud66]

There are many chances to recover.  This is no different than having a setback when you are trying to heal form an injury.  There are many new days to come so please don't give up.  Wishing you all the best and hoping the pain is bearable.

[verdigo]

Thank you all for taking time out to post back.Makes me feel like I could really make some good new friends here....Thanks again
Verdigo

[FAITHFUL74]

Dont give up... I know this is a really hard time for you and I am sorry. You will get back on track, keep your head up. I wish you and your family comfort...

[VicUser]

My sympathy on the loss of your Grandmother, know that your friends here will be thinking of you and will be here when you get back. God Bless and take care of yourself and family.

[lostmarbles]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother

[flmagi]

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Such a hard thing to deal with when your trying to go thru withdrawels. I don't think I would have been any stronger than you are.
When everthing is over and your ready to deal with it again, call the Sub doctor and get going back with that. I'm sure they will understand. Don't be hard on yourself, just get back to it when things have settled.
Really sorry about what your going thru.
Magi

[gizzy32]

im sorry to here about your grandmother and i can relate. when my grandfather had a stroke, and when he passed i didn't want to deal with it and i relapsed. glad to see you not giving up. you will learn to deal with emotions soon without using and it is so much better to be clear headed. take care of yourself and stay strong, you can do this