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Avatar universal

whats coming?

hello, I have been here before. Its been quite a few months but have been logging in reading all this time. I was trying very hard to quite those few months ago with no luck. Then had a accident & basically could not stop then. Now I am ready. I am sick of this, sick of living my life like this. Alls I think about is how many I have left or where can I get more. I am broke, my kids are suffering. Its time to stop. I know all about WD and am scared to death of the whole thing. That is one reason I never stopped before. I just thought I have to work, have to take care of kids. It was never a "good time" to stop. well there is never a good time. My drug of choice was Vics/hydrocodone, usually 10's or 7.5's. whatever I could get. I did have an rx from doc but would always run out & buy more. I was up to probably 10-12 a day. I have not taken a Vic in 5 days... BUT... I found some old oxycodone a friend had given me so yes pathetic me i took them. I have no access to any more or these & won't be going out to look for any either. So i am done with it all. i never took the oxy before or any legth of time. that was prob the 2nd time i had ever taken them. I am more mentally attached to the Vic's. SO my question is since it's been 5 days since taking a Vic, but replacing it w/the oxy's how bad are my WD's now going to be?? I was taking a very high dose of Vics for a long time. stopped those & replaced with about 40mg oxy for the 5 days. Done with it all. How bad is this going to suck??  I appreciate any help. I know i should not dwell on whats coming. but i cannot help it. Debating to try to take a day off work if possible. I am just always going in so many directions in my life i can't live like this anymore. I give a bow to everyone of you that are going thru this or have gone thru it. I never thought I would be here.........
8 Responses
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5347058 tn?1381188426
Hi there! Welcome! The Oxys that you took did nothing but prolong your withdrawls. If you are taking any kind of opiate, even if it's not your drug of choice, then you are not detoxing. Now that you have totally stopped all opiates, the true withdrawl symptoms will start. Now, you say that you have no way to get any more pills. I want you to think long and hard about this because cutting any and all sources is one of (if not ) the most important ways to ensure you get clean. Did you tell your doctor that you are addicted to Vicodin? Did you request that he/she not prescribe you any more? What about dealers? Or the friend that you got the Oxys from? I'm not trying to ride you or anything here, it is just so very important. If we have access to pills, we will find ourselves in a weak moment (they always come!) and we will use. I do want you to know that this can be done. You can do this!!! I was on a very similar dose of Vicodin and I quit cold turkey 109 days ago. It will be rough, but it passes. You will get your life back! Just stay strong and keep the mentality that there is no going back no matter how bad things get. We are here for you and want to see you succeed. Let us know any symptoms you are having and we can share some tricks that helped us a long. Stay close to this site during detox (and beyond) because it's a wonderful place to get support and encouragement. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on you journey to recovery. Take care of yourself and try to keep your head up!
Helpful - 0
4810126 tn?1503942735
Hey there & Welcome back. Thanks so much for reaching out & Congrats on your Big decision! You don't have to worry about whether or not Oxys are stronger than Vics as you didn't take them long enough to form a dependence. It may set you back slightly but hopefully, the w'd's won't be as intense.

It's sounds like you're tired of being sick & tired. I came off of 20 yrs. of Methadone in Dec. of 2012 & (as Waterlilly says) it was the best thing I've ever done for myself, despite any & all discomfort & complications. I'm a new person. I see things differently. I think differently, I feel differently -- (that is I can actually feel!) & even act differently.

I can't stress how important attitude is in all this! I actually welcomed the w/d's because I was so tired of it & angry at myself for waiting so long. (I mean, they're going to come. We know they won't kill us & that we  gotta' go through them for a short period of time so why not welcome them, eh?) Try to keep telling yourself in each moment that you're strong than you realize -- that this is your rebirth [painful but beautiful, just like your initial entry into this world.] Keep reminding yourself of how bad you felt when you gave in before & all the reasons you have to get clean. When the anxiety or symptoms get particularly bad, post for support. All you have to do is get through the next moment -- not the next day or week. You CAN do this! Toss those old excuses (I hear you on the 'it's never a good time thing' -- a classic, for sure) & batten down the hatches. Call for support from understanding family & friends to help if possible. I think it's a good idea (as an above poster suggested) to show them you're ill @ work & then to take a couple of days off if you can.

I wish you all the 'Eye-On-The-Prizeness', Determination & Love you'll need to punch through this to your new life. Hang in there! We're here & we're pulling for you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
so did NOT do myself any favors by taking the oxy.. i just prolonged the inevitable of wd's. It is amazing the guilt i feel about how i have been living. cheating my daughters of things that they deserve becuase I needed $ for something else. yet still if there was a damn pill in front of me I would take it!! The contant feeling of planning when I could leave the house based on how many pills I had. Just popping them like candy. They weren't doing nothing for me except keeping me prisoner. but I can't stop thinking about them. ugh!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE THIS....  freezing... now sweating. head is in a fog. I am scared to go to bed at night knowing i won't sleep. RLS scares me senseless... sorry I am miserable & know its just the start.
Helpful - 0
2122807 tn?1560619706
I think the board is a bit slow, THere are a few people I know of with downed internet, maybe the storms, its a shame you didn't get the comments you needed when you needed them,. you both are doing great with great attitudes.
I think the oxy WD is much worse, but you weren't on them long enough to make that much of a difference, like said above.
Stay the course gals, you can do this. It won't be pretty in the beginning, but the end is beautiful. I am living proof.
hugs,
Lily
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
IMO the oxy's w/d is more intense than the vics..idk i have done both and when i quit on the vics it was not as bad but this time i am more coming off the oxy's and the w/ds are very intense.. i did cave and take a few pills i know my prob ( i did not cut my sources) but i am back on track and determined to NOT spend another penny on them.. it is ridiculous.. i am so sick of these pills and all they do and i will not be under lock and chain w them.. w you only being on them 5 days i am not sure that is long enough to make a difference.. you are prob just detoxing all together not w 1 particular drug i hope that makes sense.. you can do it.. i totally agree the fear is the worsse part i could have quit months ago if not for the fear of w/d and i have done this before so i know it just gets worse as you keep using but i was sooo scared and still afraid of whats ahead i don't really even have 24 hrs in yet till tonight because i took 2 at 6:30 pm but i have no more and i won't get anymore.. i woke up this am got my coffee and my water (i know they say not to drink coffee but i only drinkone cup and i think it helps me) i still have babies to take care of no matter how i feel and boy is it hard.. they are going to the sitter for 4 hrs today then my son is spending the night w my sister so i will only  have my daughter till tomorrow.. i am so worried about how i am going to feel and fri i have to leave the house but i am going to be ok i know it is such a short time compared to the rest of your life!! you can do it!! we are doing it together!! (sry didn't mean to make this post about me.. i made a thred but nobody is commenting on it so i stopped too except for roysgirl she is awesome!! feeling like crap yet trying to lift everyone up:) just keep pushing forward and not looking back!!!
Helpful - 0
2122807 tn?1560619706
Hey Friend,
We have a lot in common. I was on both oxy and hydro, it started with hydro and went to oxy. I was taking a lot more than you, more than double.
I feel great, so will you. Don't get too attached to that screenname my dear, because in a year from now you will be changing it to something like "hopefilled" or "thereishope"
Yes, you will need to play flu with work. A few days would be good. Let the coworkers see you all sick.
You can do this. It was a year ago that I was on that roller coaster and got off, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I can taste again, and I want to! I want to smell all the wonderful scents around me that the pills had covered up with bland, I want to take in all the sights the pills had covered with gray, I want to experience things again, I want to want for things and experience getting them, I want to enjoy just being. I't slike a whole new lease on life. You will get here too, just stay this course, keep moving forward and don't look back on the bad, look forward tot he future, but live in the now. Take it easy on yourself, pamper yourself because you deserve it, this is a big step. This sacrifice will give you the res of your life.

drink ensure when you cant eat, and rememeber that the anxiety thing will go away. You may think it won't, but I promise it will.

hugs,
Lily
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks roysgirl for the response. I know the FEAR is way worse. I hate this. I am at work and hate it. want to leave to bad but really I cannot. another 8 hrs. But then I can go home & feel like this? I really can't put my finger on how exactly I feel right now. Not good. Defiinte anxiety. Want a pill BAD. but its good i don't have any & i will not search/call. nothing. I keep rethinking the ridiculous amount of $$ I have spent. Its depressing. Feel a little achy/nauseaous. So haven't taken Vic in 6 days but like I said took some oxy's for 5. (but never took those regularly) only 2nd time. I guess the Vic w/d are kicking in plus getting rid of the oxy's I took. IDK what's going on. Thanks for your response.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey there... Let me first say CONGRATS to you for taking your life back and recognizing the problem. In my experience the FEAR was Way worse than the actual experience. Its like the worst of flu's. The physical part of it is easier to deal with if u get your mind in on the battle. During these first few days surrender yourself to the "flu" (what I call w/ds) and do anything that takes your mind off of pills. Music, this site, and using my MH journal have been God sends for me. I relapsed so I'm only on day 2 of the flu this time. Keep your chin up and know that you are not in this alone. I don't know if the oxys make detox worse but I do know that if u prepare yourself for a week of the FLU and don't think about what "could be" it will make it easier to get thru my friend.
Helpful - 0
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