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9518579 tn?1408019480

whos out there w/ding with me?

8 days clean off of methadone 105mg tapered down to 45mg...went thru the first 5days in a detox.(thats all they could hold me for) last 2 days they gave me 4 doses of subutex 4mg 4mg 2mg 2mg then said ur good to go RIIIGGHHT. the first day out i felt ok then the next morning I felt pretty good, and then it crept up on me like a assassin. first the anxiety and heart pounding then the aches of bones and joints. there was a point it was so bad i forced myself to sit still and accept the pain just kinda welcomed it in my body then my feet kinda just went numb with a vibrating sensation. lasted about 15mins then had to get up and walk around. and oh my the head games are worse than i ever thought its like my brain is so fing confused and i have no control over it, i get really angry sometimes like i wish this disease could manifest itself in a physical form so i can beat the **** out of it. but all in all im doing ok 8days in and running the road of recovery never to look back at the drugs chasing me. MH and the people here have givin me so much support and kindness it has really helped me a lot so i just wanted to try and give some back. keep posting for support. together we can beat this, KEEPING THE FAITH.......
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Avatar universal
My first 6 months off methadone, I wished I was in a rehab or some safe environment where my only responsibility was to work my aftercare. I think this is a great idea. I felt horrible ignoring my family to go to meetings daily, going to therapy, working out, my whole life was recovery. My wife even expressed some jealousy of my new friends, I was spending more time with recovery people than her. Jump in with both feet and never look back.
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Avatar universal
Hey Josh good to see you post Great to see you post clean!!! your doing great and im so happy your going to meetings that is a huge step in your recovery some people dont make room for there recovery  some say there to bizzy..to me that tellls me there not ready if your like me I used every day  I made time for that so in recovery I make time for that now if you stick with it and follow there suggestions your going to change the very way you think the addict in you wont have you over a barrel and no matter what we dont pick up .they always told me come to as many meetings as you can get a sponcer work the steps and do service work and you will stay clean  thats a lot to grasp right now  ez does it right no lets focus on you all will fall into place in Gods time..................Gnarly
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Avatar universal
Congrats!!!!!
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684676 tn?1503186663
that is great! glad to hear , i am so glad you shared this , it helps keep hope alive! keep goin , your doin great!
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9518579 tn?1408019480
*BIG SMILE* 27 days.....you amazing pple amaze me every time with your words of encouragement. I cant ty enough...I went to a meeting last nite and when I walked in the door they all stood up and clapped their hands and said their prayers were answered. I shared with them how I was feeling and at the end as I was walking out the door I was met with hugs and encouragement. One guy said "you are not allowed to get inside your head without adult sober supervision." Wow made so much sense. And actually made me crack a real smile..I found my home group of brother's and sisters....feels good.....I just have to be patient with my recovery and clear my mind of the old me and accept the new me that is taking shape...I came home from the meeting and actually enjoyed my kids and the love of my life...going to a meeting at 12 today then another at 7 ....ty guys for helping me thru my hardest times....life is good when ur doing good....30 day chip here I come...
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Avatar universal
Get to a good church and get some prayer... read the word of God a..purchase the battlefield of the mind by notice Myers... watch this guy on Youtube a..his name is Todd White. Look for his testimony..and used to be addict over 20 years..he speaks on identity....I'm serious. Please do this;)
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Avatar universal
That was awesome
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