1 Week Today....

[dedicatedtostop]

Well here I am at 1 week today ( although it should be 37 days )... Oh well it happens! It's been a bit of a rough week to say the least. Started Monday by sending my oldest off as a Freshman at a new school, which didn't end that day as we all hoped. Then, the week ended with the passing of our Beloved IBK. Ah, can't go there right now. By the Grace of god... And Danny, I am here today! My anxiety is still high and energy very low but I am determined to keep pushing forward with all my might. If there's anything I have processes thus far from IBK's passing, it's that I pray I can be even half the person she was here, to leave just half the legacy on the lives of others as she did here. That alone makes me push so much harder!! As I look back on this last week, I reflect on the problems I had and realize that in the grand scheme of things, they were so small compared to the rest of my life. My bad back days will come and go and I will take them as they come as so many here do, pill free! For today, 1 more day, I am pill free! I have a long road ahead of me I know but I am forever dedicatedtostop

[dedicatedtostop]

Indeed!! I am learning to actually care for my back!

Your so kind, I too feel the need to pay it back and I hope I can be half the inspiration you have been to me!!

--Ashley

[Danny111]

I guess it may take you a while to get used to always taking care not to hurt yourself.  

Thanks for the kind words.  Many people on here were kind to me when I was going through wd's and I'd like to repay some of that.

[dedicatedtostop]

I could be outside all the time! I was actually just outside working in my flower bed and came in for a little break. It's hot and muggy here today.
I feel really good, and that's when I must force myself to chill a bit. I will not over work myself and hurt my back! I learned that the hard way! It's always good to hear from you! You got me through some of the hardest days of my life!!

[Danny111]

I love the outdoors as well.  I think stuff like getting outside and really noticing how nice it is helps with staying clean.  

Glad you're feeling good!

[dedicatedtostop]

Thank you Danny!! Not sure if I could make it an entire weekend without hearing from you:).... All is well and I finally feel good!! It's Amazing the things we take for granted when we pump our bodies full of those dreaded pills! Today on the lake, I realized just how much I missed the beautiful sights and feeling of being one on one w nature..

[Danny111]

Any time Dts,  Of course I'm totally just guessing obviously.  My experience has been that it's almost always the wife's fault in these kind of things anyhow.  Just kidding.  Couldn't resist that.

Glad things are good.  Being able to sit out on your deck and relax must mean that you're feeling decent at least.  

I'm usually not around the computer much on weekends but I'll look for you Monday.

[dedicatedtostop]

Ahh, I have missed you! Things are well right now, yes! Day 8. I spent the morning organizing the house a bit, planted a few new flowers then my Hubby, girls and a friend of my oldest went  kayaking. We went down down to eat then a local coffee store. I am sitting outside on my deck now enjoying my coffee.
Thanks for the advise Danny!! It's always good to get a males input on things like that! I have def learned in the past few days to handle the situation.

Right now, all is well:)

Kari,
Thank You SO much,, I am sure I will be blowing your inbox up this weekend

  

[BearsFan1966]

You got this girl! Like I said when he starts just go outside sit on your patio and love your view! After a while all will be better!
xoxo Kari

[Danny111]

Hey dedicated,

I guess you're on day 8 now?  Great job.  I would say your husband isn't THE trigger but anything that stresses you out(like a fight with your husband) makes you want use.  You have to count to 10 or maybe 100 or go for a walk or something to get yourself past the urge.

The more times you do that the less you'll think of using each time you hit a stressful situation.  

[dedicatedtostop]

That is indeed exactly what I am doing, concentrating on ME!! Bc I know what I am doing is to better everyone, although he may have trouble seeing it now, he will in the very near future!!

[BearsFan1966]

That makes more sense than you know, I was the same way! But once I got clean and stood up to him he stopped. I am not saying that is what to do just saying I understand! You just concentrate on you and getting your life back and the rest will fall into place! I think men go threw men-pose just like women do and I also think they have their time of the month too! lol
xoxo Kari

[dedicatedtostop]

Thank You!! I will most certainly PM you! It's crazy that you said the verbal abuse is just as bad as being hit in the face, because I have said that SO many times!!...... He is in just as bad of a mood today as he was yesterday. Honest to god I think it's bc I am clean now and won't put up w his BS as when I was on pills I just took it and didn't care if that makes sense... I am still here, 8 days and going strong!

[BearsFan1966]

Girl I so know the pain I am still dealing with back fractures from falling off my horse! I just tell my husband to shut the he** up and leave me alone! Easier said than done, but he knows when I get to that point he best back off! lol
wouldn't it be nice if we could just send them to their room for the night!
Words hurt worse than being hit in my opinion. I have been beat by my first husband and now verbally by my second and I am not sure which is worse! at least once you have been hit its over with but words hurt for a long time! He is getting better and I think maybe because I am standing up for myself more and more! I am here for you and if you want to talk PM me!
xoxo Kari

[dedicatedtostop]

I need a laugh, I have been called a cu&t once today and a Bit** twice within the last hour..,, and my back hurts badly:(

[BearsFan1966]

And remember that some of the wifes of addicts are the same way! Ran across plenty of men on here complaining about them! lol Lets just laugh and remember we are clean and starting a new sober life!!!!
xoxo

[dedicatedtostop]

Great advise, Thank You!! I have had enough bickering and verbal abuse to last me a lifetime!! Seriously!... Although, my Husband is a hot head and 95% of the time he gets over whatever stupid thing he was bit&&ing about in the first place.. Until the next day anyways! Ha, sadly that's true! I have to learn to handle things differently and for the most part I think I handle it pretty damn well! Afterall, I have made it yet another day..

[againnot]

Wow....ditto for me on the sometimes verbal abusive husband!  It just about makes you want to use!  But no.
I've finally learned to just walk away.  Right now I can't allow anyone to disturb my peace of mind.  I used to argue back, but then I just got angrier.
I think too, that we are more sensitive when we're in detox.
I'm on disability and my husband works.  He's often jealous that I'm home all day.  So he attempts to " order" me to do things.  I'm not a kid and won't be treated that way!
Hang in there and maybe try reacting differently to him.  It often throws my husband for a loop and he doesn't know how to respond!

[dedicatedtostop]

Frogger, that made me laugh!!! Thank you!!

Robin, I am so sorry to hear about your Mother!! That makes me really sad! I think the guys understand and know we are not bashing them. I have posted quite a bit about my husband in the past and I know there are a few guys here that mentioned their own wives making snooty comments to them when they detoxed. Point is, if you have never been through it, you don't understand!!! As I have told my husband, I pray he never experiences anything even remotely close!
I am home now, doing laundry as I was " ordered " bc I am so far behind on it...... I am just pushing through and it's a great point to avoid conflict!  2 foot in front of the other....

[Frogger76]

Very good point Robin, I would not want any of the guys thinking I was bashing them with my earlier post. Sorry if I offended anyone, I love all you dudes on here!! I'm gonna go open my mouth now, and stick a foot in there, lol...take care all.

[NeverAgain127]

Oh honey...I'm so sorry.   I went thru the same thing with my husband.  Some men just aren't good at nurturing.  Women, most of them anyways, are natural healers.

My mother has stage 4 leukemia and is dying...she called me two days ago crying because my father was being so rude to her.  She is losing weight (not good) because she has zero appetite, and he got mad at her for not eating a burger he had grilled for her.   I could so understand how she felt.

I don't want any of the guys here on the board to think we are bashing them.  BUT.   I know that when my husband is sick, I'm there for him 100%.  When I'm sick...he disappears...and also still expects me to make meals and clean.  

Just go gently, honey.  No big confrontations...try not not engage him, if you can.  I always tell my daughter:  you don't have to catch every ball someone throws at you.

I'd give you a big hug if I could...

xoxo
-Robin

[Frogger76]

MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause~ ever notice how all our problems begin with men...

Just thought you could use a little laugh!!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Hi guys!!

Thank you SO MUCH for being there for me! I am actually waiting to get my oldest from Softball practice then... Ugg back home! I will deal w him! I just can't wrap my head around how rude and careless someone can be when I feel like I am fighting for my life!! And this is the first day that I have felt remotely decent. Sigh.... I am laughing w my oldest bc she knows how he is as well! I don't know what kind if mood he will be in when I get home but I will face it head on! ...... I also made it clear that I wouldn't do ANYTHING to risk hurting my back! There's nothing worth it! Errr

[BearsFan1966]

I have a husband that does the same thing! Every thing is always my fault and never his! Just take a deep breath, go outside, do what you need to do and remember when you feel better it will get done. The one thing they do not understand is that we are sick and need to heal. Mine thinks ok you had 2 days you should be all better now! NOT this takes a while and they do not understand this!
I am here and totally understand what you are going threw sweetie, do not let him make you stumble!
xoxo
Kari

[Frogger76]

Hi!! Can't live with em, can't live without em, well on second thought, yes I could,lol. I hear ya loud and clear. My hubby was the same way during my detox, moody! He'd never been there, so I guess he thought I was being a lazy little brat, no I wasn't, I was fighting very hard to get my life back, just as you are. Keep on fighting, don't let negativity get in the way of your sobriety. I know it's hard to ignore a moody hubby, dang near impossible, lol. You can do this, for yourself and your wonderful girls!! Take care of yourself!! Sending prayers your way...