cocaine recovery

[Loulou268]

My ex fiance has a cocaine/alcohol addiction. He was addicted for a year but used for around four years when he went clubbing. He functioned normal up until the last 6 months of his addiction then he changed, he was emotionally detached, he lied & never seemed to care about anything or anyone. He hurt me so bad emotionally & destroyed our relationship & had absolutley no sympathy when i fell apart over what he,d done. It is just so out of character. I know it was the cocaine that numbed his feelings because he is such a loving, caring person. If i was hurt in some way he would be such good support. He has been clean for around 10 weeks now with no help other than his family who think he has quit & thats it all over & done with. My concern is he still has the behaviour, no emotion, apathy, no remorse & he blames me for it all even though it started before we met. Is it normal to still have this behaviour even after stopping & how long will it be before he functions normal?

[J T Junig, MD PhD]

Ditto.  A 'dry drunk' refers to a person who has stopped any drug or alcohol but who has not been through treatment.  With the possible exception of the treatment of opiate dependence with Suboxone (as I describe here:  http://suboxonetalkzone.com/?p=747 ) the addict's behavior doesn't change back to how it was before the addiction.  This is one reason I frequently take issue on this board over the idea of simply stopping an addictive substance-- say by searching for the best 'plan to quit.'  Addiction does things to personality that are difficult to figure out, let alone repair.

Even if he went through treatment, addicts are generalized to avoid relationships and other challenging psychosocial situations during the first year of recovery.

Finally, I hear a bit of hope in your voice that has the potential to cause you a great deal of pain, if not tempered with a much larger amount of clear-headed, non-fantasy assessment of the situation.  

[JasCam]

He needs treatment. He may have gone 10 weeks without (that you know of) but there is an internal battle that he's fighting and without proper help and support from someone that specializes with addiction odds are he'll use again.