My husband and I have 3 children of our own and would love to bring another child into our home. We have been so blessed and want to share that love with another child.
Our problem is that, because we already have 3 children, the agents think that we may have to wait a longer time since birth parents typically look for parents with no other children in the home. The idea of paying someone $30,000 to adopt a child is mind blowing when it seems that it may be years before getting a placement. It isn't necessarily the money part of it, but it is the fact that we would want the child to be somewhat close to our children's age and the longer we wait, the further we are from that happening. As far as the money part, it seems that the agencies would rather you spend that money on providing for that child.? I completely understand that those fees are to help with support, ect. and that is wonderful...however, I feel like the fees are a little overboard.
We have spoken to several different agencies and a few of them have suggested trying to contact birthmothers directly to arrange an adoption. I think that is a wonderful idea.However, how do you do that without seeming completely creepy? haha
Are there any forums or sites that are made for that type of contact or do you just have to happen to know someone who knows someone?
We haven't given up on the idea of an agency, just aren't sure what the best route would be for us. I have seen on other forums that the birth parents aren't treated well by the agents. I would love to know which agencies those are so that I DON'T go through them.
Adoption is such a selfless and difficult decision for a birthparent that they should be treated with respect and comforted through the process!
Sorry for the rant. Any help would be appreciated :)