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8917634 tn?1402664583

adoption exhaustion

I am a hopeful adoptive mom, which makes me a childless mother.  My husband and I have been on this journey to adopt for 5 years now.  Agencies are rediculously expensive and I am not quite sure why one agency can be 20 thousand and the next can be 50 thousand.  We have had our home study done, several times actually because it has to be updated each year.  We have become foster parents and started that journey 2 years ago.  Each baby that has come into our lives has been loved, adored and devoted to.  Each baby left.  I am exhausted, I feel like there is no light at the end of this road.  I have wanted nothing more than to be a mommy but I feel like it is truly impossible.  I feel foolish when I get my hopes up and it falls through.  Everyone says my time will come, or god has a plan but again I am exhausted.  It is truly an emotional roller coaster.  I am not rich, but I can provide a future for a child or children.  We were even considering going to another foster to adopt agency but the idea of starting all over again is scary not to mention it may very well not change the same situation I am already in.  I think we are a great couple we even have an open relationship with all of the birth mothers of the children we have fostered.  Has anyone ever been ready to throw in the towel or have other resources that could lead me to my dreams of being a mom and helping that women who choses adoption to fill the dreams she has for her childs future.  Five years is a long time and I feel like we have done everything in our power to give back, to give ourselves opportunities of being put out there for those who need us but we still have an empty nest.  I could use some hope :(  Anyone with advise or options please feel free ***@****
10 Responses
961574 tn?1520648103
First, I love that you want to adopt!  Being adopted myself, it makes me smile!!!

Second, it sounds like you are open to all avenues to achieve growing your family.  
I don't know why you have decided to adopted, and I dont want to cross any boundaries, but, I wanted to ask you if you have ever considered donor embryos or embryo adoption?  
My twins were born as a result of embryo donation, so I am a huge advocate.

8917634 tn?1402664583
Thank you so much for sending me a message.  I do not know much about embryo adoption, is it expensive? I couldnt afford IUI or IVF which is one reason i never had those procedures but I would like to know more about how you went through it.  Some of the reasons I am not able to conceive may be me from a hormonal imbalance and thyroid disease.  My husband had a vasectomy reversal done 4 years ago.  The doctor did a great job and the procedure worked but his motility and morphology is pretty bad.  I would love to hear your input, I have to say I am rather afraid to hear the prices of embryo adoption though.
961574 tn?1520648103
Well, of course it depends on how it happens...adoption is more expensive then donation....but it is much cheaper then domestic or international adoption.  
There is a place in California called California conceptions that has a 100% refund program for around 10-12,000dollars.  But you have to travel there for transfer...
There is a website called miracles waiting, that connects donors of embryos with people looking to donate. It cost $150.00 to join.  
Our donor found me on here :). She knew my struggles, and just approached me.  
Fertility clinics often have their own donor embryo pool also.  I would avoid clinics with clinic fees, but a lot will do it for just the cost of a FET( frozen embryo transfer). That can run 3-5,000
There is a place called snowflake adoption that I have heard wonderful things about too.  I believe it is 7-8,000...I think??
Also a place NECD, (I think) that does a lot of embryo adoption
961574 tn?1520648103
Oh, and at California conception, if you aren't successful, you get 100% of your money back, and can rejoin the program
Avatar universal
I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. We have been wanting to adopt as well but we do have our own biological children as well. We felt called to adopt and it has been an emotional roller coaster.
I have been considering donating my eggs and am not sure if that would be helpful in your situation or not. I have signed up on an egg donation program but have no idea what the cost to the recipient would be. If you are interested, feel free to pm me and I would love to talk more with you.
8899291 tn?1407195461
Weve been ttc for 3 years with 6 miscarriages and 3 failed clomid cycles.

We have a friend willing to adopt to us and i always think what if she chamges her mind
Avatar universal
You are brave! I always like to say this to anyone who goes through the adoption process - as well as the IUI's and IVF's. We were in the same boat. My husband and I tried to conceive for 5 years with 'super drugs' even going through a cycle of IVF - all failed. We adopted about 2 years ago and it's the best story of our lives. We found a great agency and from start to finish we had our little boy in our hands in 6 weeks!!! It was crazy. I would love to recommend the agency to you! I recommend them to everyone because they were so amazing. He is the best gift we've been given and I can't imagine life any differently now. It will happen for you. I know it's a journey but make the best you can of it. Think positive and enjoy this time with your hubby. Every baby is a gift no matter how they enter our lives. Let me know if you want the name to the agency - they are amazing. I would also be willing to share our story with you, if you'd like. Good luck, hon! Hang in there - there's a baby out there that God has waiting for you. :)
961574 tn?1520648103
I have a close friend that is adopting.  She signed up with a few smaller agencies, but is looking for a few others to sign up with...I would Love to tell your story, and tell her the name of the agency you used :)
1386655 tn?1452097056
Yes, please share the name of the agency you used.  My sister and her husband have been also trying to adopt and they can certainly use a good agency to help if possible.  Thank you!!
8917634 tn?1402664583
Liz thank you, I am happy to know your story has a happy ending.  I would love to know more about your agency.  It has been a terrible road but I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my post.  I also appreciate you had 5 years of misery so you understand exactly how I feel right now. That means a lot to me.  Any advice and information on your agency would be wonderful.  Thank you again

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