I was diagnosed hypothyroid in May of last year but I think I have some form of agoraphobia and I'm not sure if my illness is causing it or not.
I was first shown to have a subclinically underactive thyroid back in November 2011 but because it was subclinical I was not prescribed any medication. Around about this time I started to hate getting on public transport and that I would get annoyed if someone jumped the queue if I were before them. It sounds pretty minor really and I feel daft writing this...
During January/February 2012 I developed a goiter - I didn't know what had caused it at the time and so I did not seek help. To the best of my knowledge I considered it to be a throat infection. Some throat infections cause throats to swell up and so it made sense. I had a hoarse voice too and it hurt to swallow. To counteract the visible deformity of my neck I wrapped scarves around it to cover it up. If I did not, strangers in the street would stare at me and give me worried looks and I knew why.
Now my problems are much, much worse and I don't know if it's the progression of the illness or if I am not medicated enough, but I get very panicky and jumpy around strangers. I come over tense, agitated, snappy and the muscles in my face begin to spasm. I feel like I'm the only one in the world with this as it only ever happens when I am on a plane, a bus, a train, a boat, in a small compact shop or a crowded public place like a shopping mall.
I even hate walking on the same side of the road as a stranger coming the other way because of having to make room for them to get by/possibly interact with them. I have had bad experiences in the past where men have stopped me in the street asking me out and I am wondering if this is stemming from that.
What has made me come on here today and post this question is that I got very uptight in our local shop and I got quite tense, agitated and twitchy when lots of people were in the same aisle as us. It didn't help that my partner was taking his time in deciding what to get to have for dinner and because of the increasing crowd of people I came out with some rather snippy replies which I later felt bad about.
Am I going crazy? I feel as though I am.