homebound

[pinknblue]

I like to stay at home. When I go out I am not especially anxious, I just want to do what I have to and go home have had depression for 20 years. Presently on cymbalta 60mg qd. When I get out to see people I do enjoy myself, but when the opportunity arises for me to go out and have fun I refuse.I dont like going to staff meetings or anything that takes me back to the worksetting once I am clocked out. I spend my time gardening, reading ,watching tv, or internet. I want to go out and have fun, and be with my friends, but I cannot convince myself to go.I sometimes feel despair for no reason and have to restrain crying. This feeling lasts for hours and I dont know what to do to break it.This used to be daily but since I adopted 2 cats thats better. I eat healthy, my body is healthy, gardening is my exercise ,  Icouldnt even go walk down the block anyway.
I know I am so depressed ,I don't want interaction, but I am so lonesome. I have always been a homebody but I used to love all those other things.I feel so messed up in my head, but I do  good job at work and get good evals. Is it so abnormal to want to be alone all the time?

[CydneyRN]

Im in the same boat.   Im disabled and getting ready to go anywhere breaks me out in sweat and causes anxiety.   Im so very happy when I can come home.   I love being out once I get out,  its the planning,  getting ready,  and actually leaving my house that is so stressful.   Pulling into my driveway makes me feel so much better though.   Ive been doing this for 9 years,  since my husband died at 39. His death wasnt expected and shocked me and my kids, badly.   Im not really grieving as much as I did the first few years,  but he died in this house,  and I guess in some twisted way,  I feel closer to him here.   My depression is bad.   I take Zoloft,  Im not sure it helps,  but I havent killed myself yet,  so it probably helps some.   I would love any advice that would help me.   Thank You.

[pipo_star]

I've heard that a lot of people with depression lack vitamin D (sunlight),

[pipo_star]

Additional: if u talk a nice walk everyday, it's a start

[Bunkyc]

I know exactly how you feel. Ive struggled with this for years.
I love to stay at home. I get so nervous when i go out. I suffer from depression as well. Dont know what to do

[Carrie_is_taken]

I'm not the best to give you advice on what is or isn't normal because I don't think there is such a thing. One person's strange, odd and quirky quality is another person's every day thing! Besides being normal is boring who wants that? OK well I don't I can't stand when people copy something I do/did. They say it's flattery I say BS!  ANYWHO I have alot of the same feelings you do. I'm disabled and it literally takes me over 2hrs to get dressed. By the time I'm done I'm so exhausted all I want to do is take a nap! Use to I was the one getting everyone together and doing something once a month. Otherwise I'd never see my friends. Haven't seen them in well I'm not really sure when now that I think about it. Have no idea what we did together. So instead of the social butterfly I've become a hermit. At least you can work and get out of the house some. I use to love to plant flowers in Spring but not anymore. If it doesn't happen in the 4 walls of my bedroom chances are I have no idea what's going on. Seeing the news it looks like it's the same thing over and over on. The only time I leave my house is when I'm going to the doctor(s) or it's a holiday and I'm visiting family. Use to go to church every time the door was open. Can't sit on a bench or sit still that long period so I quit going. Miss singing in choir but couldn't stand now to sing if I wanted to. My phone rings when my husband is on the way home. My email inbox is full of SPAM instead of messages. Texts come from my brother or sister in law. That's the extent of my outside communication. Some days I get dizzy and I'm too scared to get out of bed because I'm afraid I will fall. So when you say you feel alone and don't want interaction with others oh honey, believe me I totally understand! They don't ask me to go out but when they did, I tell them I'm having a hard day or don't feel well. Then I feel guilty about saying it. It's all one big vicious cycle that I keep repeating.