How can I convince my brother to quit drinking alcohol and smoke weed?

[bee6517]

All of this has started a few months ago. I raised him avoiding to have a bad influence or a badly behaviour and stay with people who doesn't drink or  smoke all stupid weed. After he finished the high school he decided to get hired at a market and  don't study anymore, even if I adviced him to continue his studies. In the first month he started to go out with one of  his colleagues and comes home in the morning, smelling of weed and alcohol... soon after that he quit of that job and started to drink more and more... and smoke more... steel my money for his needs.... I feel gooing crazy, he never listen to me, i really need some help, how can I convince him to do something! I want to do something for him, he is my little brother!

[dominosarah]

What a great update!!!  Hope you 2 are still doing well.

[bee6517]

Hello, sorry for answering so late.
It was a hard period for me with my work and worries, but now he is home, I am glad that he is better and now i can talk with him without saying stupid things.
All  medical staff it was great, every time, when i had questions about the situation of my brother they always answer me and  explain why he do that. My brother  talk about  all medical staff very beautiful, i can't believe it.
He is fine,  he stayed there 14 days, he is very different,  is a new person, now he is home and  continue the treatment.
Now  we have to wait until he finish the treatment and go back for another small check/control.
I really hope that he will be the kind soul that I had raised and never starts using again the alcohol and drugs....
Hope to have the opportunity to recommend this center to others who has issues with alcohol and drugs..
Thank you that you care !

[dominosarah]

How is he doing?

[dominosarah]

Did he go to the appt on Monday?

[bee6517]

Hello! Yes, he accepted to stay a short period at that center, hope to be ok. I am really nervous.

[specialmom]

Oh, that is SO hard.  I'm really sorry.  Since you were raising him, was there a family situation that was bad early on in his life?  That puts a person at greater risk for these types of things later on unfortunately.  Like insult on injury.  Unfortunately, it is usually consequences that make someone wake up.  If you are codependent in that you protect him, make allowances for him, let him get away from things, then you are unfortunately part of the problem too.  I know it is hard and very scary to think of what would happen to him if you stopped providing a place to stay or food.  But he is an adult now and making really poor choices and stealing from you.  There SHOULD be a consequence for that.  Do you feel he is addicted now?  Would he attend a 12 step meeting?  See a therapist?  I think you can ask him to, set up some house rules and if he doesn't follow, you're going to have to let him suffer the consequences to hopefully get his life back in order.  I'm so sorry. What a tough position to be in!

[bee6517]

Thank you for your answer!

I really don't know if he is addicted to, but all the time he drink and consume those substances, hope to bring him on the goood way soon... Even if he stole from house and make stupid things, he is my little brother.

I had a disscussion with him these days and  he was agree to go to a center who somebody from our country recommended to me about 3 week ago. Hope that he accept to stay there and to receive help from specialist.

I had made the appoiment for monday, we will see  the result, i am so nervous. I will write to you.
Thank you another time!