How to deal with an alcoholic mother...

[Alexandra922]

For a few years, my mom has been developing alcoholism and it didn't get really bad until about two years ago and this year it has gotten to the point where I've had to completely disown her, like I never had a mother. She either drinks or works and when she gets off work she gets a beer. I think she is addicted to anti-depressants, over the counter drugs, and she's now on prozac. She's physically, emotionally, verbally, and mentally abused me. Her latest thing now is that she is suing my dad and I for various reasons. I dont know what to do. I have a place to live and I'm about to move to school so I will be away from here and her. I have people who love me and help me but I'm in disbelief that my own mother could do this. I'm worn down, exhausted, devastated, and she is pretty much dead to me. How can I get past this horror? How can I get past the hurt and bitterness? How can I get to a point where when she does something, I become numb to it?

I'm so distraught... I just need answers.

[Phtartist]

Dear Alexandra, the opening letter you wrote here would be a perfect good bye letter for your mom as you leave.  I'm sure you care about her, but leave soon.  You cannot save her from drinking more if you stay.

When you are away at school keep in mind that alcoholism is a genetic disease/disorder, which you may have also.  Don't even test it, just don't drink. Your future is at stake.

[trinitastartelmoth]

I was there for 3 years, an abusive drunken mom which I disowned. Anti-depressants aren't addictive. Alanon will help. I later became an alcoholic and understood what a terrible disease it is and how hard it is to recover. Don't let her illness become yours. There is nothing you can do unless she wants help. When you move and she tries to inflict  her alcoholic conversations on you - put up boundaries and tell her you don't talk to alcohol.

[boogieman]

hello. for yourself and your sanity, check out al-anon. for your mom, it sounds like there may be more than alcoholism at issue. is her doctor aware of her condition? i ask because i know from experience that prozac and alcohol do not mix well. if she is truly alcoholic things will degrade without treatment, but all you can do (unless she is a threat, or wants help) is to do what you need to for your own protection. becoming numb to things that disturb you would be ill advised, as that is exactly what alcoholics do. but this doesn't mean you have to withstand abuse. you could simply let her know that you can't continue being a hostage to her conditions, and stand by your decision. it may be difficult at times but there are resources available to assist you. you don't have to do it alone. best of luck---gm

[Pickles4Me]

Alexandra, please see your Inbox.