I get agressive and parranoid after just one drink.

[kubo86]

I have a problem that is putting my relationship on the line. I am 24 years old and I have been with my girlfriend for close to 2 years. When we started going out, everything was great, we could go out with any of our friends and have a good time, drinking and partying. After we moved in together about 8 months ago something changed inside me, and it effects my behavior when I drink. After just one drink I can turn against my girlfriend, I get intensely paranoid and see her as someone that is trying to put me down in front of my friends, I get very needy and if she does not pay all her attention to me I get very emotional and aggressive towards her and other people around me. It has become so regular that its now predictable. I love my  girlfriend and when I don't drink we are very happy together. I have a history of drug and alcohol abuse, I have in the past been addicted to cocaine, weed and alcohol. I stopped smoking because I was too paranoid and stopped taking cocaine because my habit was too expensive and excessive. With alcohol, I had been to AA at the age of 20 when I was regularly drinking while in an unhappy relationship. When this ended I had been able to drink moderately and even excessively without any problems. But now, my behavior has been getting worse, I see my self behaving like a person that is not me an in the process hurting people that are closes to me. What can I do? is the only answer is to stop drinking? I am 24 and work as a sound engineer and a dj when I drink with other people I seem to be fine, but when I meet up with my girlfriend and drink I behave like an animal, smashing my phone, calling her names, starting fights with strangers on the street and putting both my health and more importantly hers in danger. Has anyone gone through something similar? or heard of someone going through the same thing? I have stopped drinking? And things have been fine, but I'm curious as to what has been causing me to loose my mind after just one drink?

[dominosarah]

Are you still drinking??

[ibizan]

glad ppl's feedback gave u food for thought and hopeful change.When it comes to 2 much alcohol in the system...and behavior...the best word to use might be YET...i haven't done that.....YET!

[kubo86]

thank you all for your comments they have helped a lot.

For those that think I am a woman beater, could I just clarify I have never hit my girlfriend and what I meant by aggressive is the manner in which I conduct my speech and express emotions. Although I have been in fights with strangers after drinking and arguing with my girlfriend, which too is totally unacceptable.

again thank you all for your words of wisdom.

[chippi1]

I can relate to this. Those around me when I drank would tell me I was like Jekyl and Hyde. I would go from an easy-going, soft-spoken person to an argumentive, obnoxious, agressive jerk, to put it mildly. I don't like that person very much and the only way I can keep that person at bay is to not drink. That person is guaranteed to appear EVERY TIME I drink, there was no way around it for me, but to stop drinking or destroy every relationship in my life, not to mention the self-loathing that takes place, I can do without that also. Good luck and Blessings

[rod44]

AA saying.....Alcoholics dont have relationships.......we take hostages.


Ray

[narla]

It's good to see you have stopped drinking,now you need to realise you can never drink again,once alcohol affects you like this it will continue to do so,are you getting recovery care either AA or an addiction therapist,you need the help to stay sober forever.

Denise

[Jaybay]

You're still an addict and will be one for the rest of your life whether you use or not.  You're also an alcoholic.  You know you need to stop drinking or you wouldn't be here.  What's more interesting to me is why your girlfriend stays with you.  You state that you know your behavior is completely out of order, yet you continue to drink.  Why?

[Jacker]

I was addicted to alcohol after years of abuse, and when I completed my own detox, and the withdrawal symptoms were gone, I attempted to drink again numerous times. At the beginning I would always "have it under control" or so I thought. And if I got drunk, I'd tell myself "it's not as bad as last time".  

The fact is, there is a line that we cross, and you may have crossed it.  If alcohol now effects you differently (and you were once addicted), then this is pretty strong evidence that you are an alcoholic.  If that's the case, you can't drink again.  It's progressive, and it doesn't take long to fall back into your old patterns.

Learn to live life in a different way that does not involve alcohol.  It's worth it, but you have to make a firm decision to do so.

[rmevans]

I agree with the other posts.  If you really love your girlfriend, either you need to give up the drinking completely (easier said than done as I also tend to abuse alcohol), or break up with your girlfriend.  I'm sure that sounds like a mean thing to do to her, but what you are doing to her now is a lot worse.   She will be sad for a while, but she is young and will get over it.  
You don't want to end up physically hurting your girlfriend in addition to the emotional abuse she is already getting.  She is most likely already starting to fear being around you even when you are sober even if she doesn't admit to it.  It is definitely not good for her mental or physical health to have to live in fear all the time.
An alcohol counselor - or even a regular counselor - would be a great idea.  Sounds like you may have commitment issues as it sounds like you had similar problem with your previous girlfriend.  

[dominosarah]

There seems to be some hidden issues with your gf and when you drink they come to the surface.  You mentioned abusing other substances before so i hope you realize that alcohol is something you are going to have to stay away from also.  Your behavior clearly shows that.  Get into some type of recovery.  AA is a great support system for those who want to work it.  You have to stay sober for you.  I am glad you arent drinking now, just keep it going.....sara

[PoochieRachetToe]

Hey, stop drinking. Also appears that you have a suppressed issue with your girlfriend. I tell you this as a man despite my screen name......... If you love her so much, let her go. She obviously doesn't deserve your ill mannered, intoxicated bullsh!t. I'm a little intolerant of this behavior and thats why I'm being so blatant with you. Its just ridiculous behavior man. Unacceptable, you surely agree. I would also ask you to see a therapist of sorts, get to the root of the problem. No matter how great things are when you are sober, she will never forget what they are like when you aren't.