As always,u nail the nail right on the head of the nail!:)
I hear despair in Your voice.
You must try again - one day at a time, one hour at a time.
An alcoholic deceives HimSelf (HerSelf) when She thinks She can drink in a 'controlled' way. "Denial" is powerful !! The ONLY way to recovery is to abstain COMPLETELY.
You would not drink "a little" rat poison because You think a 'little' rat poison is better than a lot of rat poison !! (sarcasm intended). Alcohol - same thing !! A 'little' is just as bad - 12oz of beer, 5oz of wine, 1.5oz of 80 proof liquor ALL contain the SAME AMOUNT of ethanol !!
Alcohol (rat poison) has shown itself to be harmful to You and Your Wife. Do You have Children? If so, I can promise You They have been affected too, it changes Their esteem, it changes how They will make important life choices for ThemSelves. This I Know Is True.
You have Free Will and You have Choice to not drink at all. I'm not suggesting it will be 'easy', I'm not suggesting that You won't 'want' to drink - but that bottle NEVER jumps into Your hands and pours itself down Your throat. It takes conscious effort (choice and free will) on Your part to drink - and it takes conscious effort not to.
If You think quitting is hard, I promise You it is gonna' be a lot harder down the road if You don't quit, harder on You and on All who love You. The damage You are doing to Your Body and to Your Relationship(s) is cumulative. This I Know Is True.
GoodLuck
Tink
Yes completely, I do the same stuff, except to my hubby. I try not to let myself drink as much as I use to, I have to control it, like if I buy alcohol I only buy a certain bottle bc if I get something bigger ik I will drink all of it. This may sound stupid but for me drinking is like smoking crack once I don't have an more I freak out n do anything to get it, it's a stupid way to live, .so for me if I drink it's always controlled, either by me or my hubby, has to b that way bc if not he'll leave me again. We have separated 4 times in 2 yrs bc of my drinking! Don't let it get that far. Was very hard on my daughter. Watching her mom do dumb stuff and getting kicked out. Alcohol just isn't worth all of it. Control it or just stop. But see if controlling it kinda ***** bc if I don't get a certain buzz I will have a massive headache n feel like crap. Its a catch 22. Just think what is more important your marriage or drinking?