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220476 tn?1212719350

I'm doing it! CT off alcohol

I have been drinking about a magnum of wine(red or white) plus a few vodka drinks a day.  Or, I have about a fifth of vodka a day.  It's the first thing I thnk about in the morning instead of coffee!!!!!!  Any suggestions?  I really need to do this privately.
Thanks.

Charlie
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220476 tn?1212719350
Anyone??????  No responses?????  
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Avatar universal
Your going to need benzos,cold turkey is a BAD idea because it won't be private very long if you seize and die.I just went through it myself and I had benzos and it was hell.Can you go to the ER,they will stabalize you when you start to withdraw.Even a 5 day detox is private and they make you very comfortable.
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220476 tn?1212719350
Thanks for your response.  This has been going on for about a year straight.  Any suggestions for out patient detox with privacy?  Also, is this all confidential or will my family doc or psych be notified??

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Avatar universal
well,if you go to an ER you don't normally go to and tell them you don't have a DR then your doc won't find out,but detox I think they will,I didn't tell my DR I went to detox,but he knew when I went to see him.Can you get Ativan or valium,from your psych,tell him you have panic attacks or trouble sleeping.I don't condone lying,but I'd rather you did that than quit drinking cold turkey.
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220476 tn?1212719350
What about Soma??  Will this work in place of Xanax?  I am worried about the physical withdrawl.  Do you think after a year my body would have a seizure?
Thanks for you help.

Charlieg
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Avatar universal
I don't think soma is a benzo.Benzos do to the brain the same thing alcohol does without the drunk,after a year of drinking everyday.....yes there is a good chance of seizure not to mention the WDs are horrible cold turkey.
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220476 tn?1212719350
I'm can't go to a doctor for benzos.  To embarrassed.  Plus, I have already been on Xanax on and off.  Once I told her that I wanted to increase my dose for anxiety from .5mg  twice a day to 1mg  twice a day, she cut me off.  That isn't even a high dose.  The doc told me I had to go to a psych for anxiety meds.  I did that and am on Effexor 75 mg. and Adderall30 mg  for depression and ADHD.The psych is against Benzos...  I have Soma and Ambien.  Would ambien work for sleep and I could cut down the alcohol slowly?  Does anyone have any suggestions on tapering from Alcohol?

Thanks,
Charlie
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220476 tn?1212719350
Anyone out there?????
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Avatar universal
hello - I was an alcoholic for well over ten years, and now have been sober for over 8 years. I vividly remember waking up and the first thought being alcohol, the last thought being alcohol, and in between bleakness, depression, panic and anxiety, and total hopelessness.

I am not familiar with the meds you are on, or how long you have been drinking at these levels, and how generally healthy or not you are - all of these things would impact on your detox experience. I understand very much your reluctance to tell your doctor - however, alcohol and benzos are two withdrawals that can kill, and I have actually seen a person in alcohol w/d have a seizure and nearly die. In my mind, this puts these detoxes in a special category, and if you do go CT, I would definitely do it under medical supervision.

Taper suggestion (entirely a guess, I have no medical background at all, so this is just how I would do it. Go slowly): cut out your vodka drinks for a start, just drink your magnum per day until you get accustomed to that. Then cut it down by 1/10th a day - the point is to go gradually.

But I think the most important issue in stopping drinking is to look at the underlying issues, and for that counselling and/or support groups are required. Staying sober and having freedom from the obsessive cravings and the restlessness and discomfort requires a lot of effort and a lot of input. Regardless if you try tapering or detox, the after care has got to be put in place, and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to do whatever it takes to get free of this prison. For me, AA worked, though it took a bit of getting used to, and I had to overcome a lot of anxiety and judgmentalism to get through the doors. Once I was more comfortable there, I really began to work the program and have gained huge freedom from that.

I wish you all the best, and I would encourage you to seek medical help, don't let pride and reluctance and embarassment get in the way of a safe detox process. I tell you, watching that lady have a seizure all those years ago has never left my mind, it is terrifying. Give yourself the best chance of success.
Alex
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Avatar universal
Dear Charlie,

You're on the right track, girl.  And you can do it.  Nearly 18 years ago I also drank a lot of Vodka and some wine and some beer and whatever else I could find to take away the pain and make it through the day.  Until one day I knew I couldn't live like this anymore, I felt that I would die very soon.  My liver had failed once before and I had all the symptoms that it was going again, glowing yellow eyes, orange skin, swollen liver. I was 29 years old and had a two-year-old son at home who depended on me to take care of him while my husband was at work. Because, you see we were the perfect family -- I was a housewife and he worked and we went to church on Sunday and I got drunk every day all day, but I thought no one knew that.  I couldn't go to treatment, my family needed me at home. So I tried off and on to quit drinking by myself, but was never able to make it past a week. I never thought about what my family would do when I was dead!  

So on that one day when God gave me that one lucid moment I called someone to take me to the doctor and get me into treatment because I wanted to live more than I wanted to die and I wanted to be there for that little boy.  We can't quit drinking for someone else, but in the beginning maybe we just need to have something we'd like to just stay alive for. I thought I would just go to treatment, but I had to go to the medical hospital first because it took them five days to get my organs functioning and get me able to go across the street to treatment.  Apparently that shove from God on that day had saved my life.  We need to listen to that still small voice when it comes.  

I learned a lot while I was in treatment.  But one of the most important things I learned was that alcoholism is a physical disease.  It is not a moral failing.  A lot of people have trouble with that concept.  Maybe they just like to try to feel superior to other people and that's one of the ways they try to do it.  But I learned that it is sort of like if diabetes runs in your family. Alcoholism was passed down to me from both sides of my family and all I had to do to find that out was to ask my parents and have them grudgingly tell me about that aunt and this uncle and my grandfather's four (!) brothers.  (My family is all about secrets.)  If it was possible to go farther up on the family tree I can guarantee you that in each generation there would be some one or two who were unlucky enough to have carried the gene that caused them to be addicts -- to whatever it was they found they were addicted to.  My brother is not an addict.  

Doctors and psychiatrists are professional people who deal with addiction every day.  It's not a unique disease.  They will know what to do to best help you and are certainly not going to shame you.  Would they shame you if you had cancer or a cold?  They will help you with what they know is going to be the most important decision you'll ever make and the one that will change your life forever into what you never dreamed it could be.  Talk to your psyciatrist first and she/he will help you locate a good treatment center.  Many have free beds if that is your need.  Do not stop all at once on your own with the alcohol intake you've got going!  For sure, at least talk to your medical doctor.  But for me, treatment was the way to go.  It got me on the road to recovery in an situation where I was totally surrounded by other sober people all trying to do the same thing I was doing.  

And when I got out the first place I went to was an AA meeting that I made my home group -- another important thing you might look into.  Find a support group there and get some good sober friends to hang out with.  You can have fun in sobriety!  Go to 90 meetings in 90 days, get a book and read it, work the steps, most important--get a sponsor.  She'll help you through the hard times and be available to you whenever you need some guidance or a shoulder.  

But most of all give yourself a break.  You didn't get in this situation all in one day and you're not going to get out that quickly either.  It's going to take some time, but don't you think you're worth it?  Hold your head up and do whatever it takes to take care of you.  That's your job now, one day at a time!

Best Wishes
Needsreaders
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307197 tn?1193082159
Question:   Can a person successfully go through the AA --12 step program without God in their life and/or religious? I'm an atheist and always wondered about the policy.
Sounds like you're doing quite well with your sobriety.  Congratulations on your recovery and turning your life around.  Great inspirational story too.  Thanks for input.
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Avatar universal
I think that depending on a person's commitment to getting sober and working the program that anyone can make it work.  I don't need to believe in God, per se, but I do need to be willing to believe in something larger and more powerful than myself.  Some people choose to draw strength from the the group. No one there is going to tell you that you must believe in God. As far as I know the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. Keep an open mind and give it a try ;o)
needsreaders
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307197 tn?1193082159
Thanks for your comments.  If I were to attend a meeting, I just don't want religion of any kind crammed down my throat.  I understand surrendering oneself, commitment and admitting being powerless. I think drawing strength from the group and stop the 'desire' of drinking should be the bottom line.  I'm still not convinced I'll be successful as a AA member if I don't embrace Christianity which AA was based on, I believe.
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220476 tn?1212719350
Your stories have helped me.  Just having responses to my cry for help is great.  I hope more people will continue to check this board and reply as needed.  I'm not sure what my plan is yet but it's coming..  I have no option.  It's here.  Get sober or ruin my life.  I am aware..  It's sad.

Charlie
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307197 tn?1193082159
I hope your condition and health improves.  I seem to be more worried about my mental state of mind than physical lately.

needsreaders -- Alcoholism was passed down to me from both sides of my family too.  My one brother died very early ( age 32 ) from 'accidental' overdose of drugs (cocaine) and alcohol.  My one sister was an addict too, but got clean through AA, only to die later from cancer.  My father is a 'dry' drunk, but still alive; mom too.

I've never tried any help.  Maybe a psychiatrist is a good starting point.  Nobody really knows because I make it to work everyday and can function on the outside.  

Question: Can a person delete or edit on this forum?  I really have issues if you can't, because so many forums have that capability.
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220476 tn?1212719350
Which forums are you talking about.  I would like to join.

charlie
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Avatar universal
I don't know anything about forums of any kind.  This is the first time I've ever done this.  I sort of stumbled onto this while surfing around and thought it was very interesting. And since I have a little experience in this area, maybe I could help.
You seem to know somewhat what is called for in working a 12-step program so you must have been doing some investigating on your own, or maybe you had a chance to talk to your sister about it?  
I was a high functioning drunk for a long time, too.  I had two jobs.  Alcoholics are on the whole very intelligent, extremely capable people.  They are usually quite amazed by what they can produce without drinking, when all this time they thought they needed the booze to get anything done. Of course, you may not need to drink while you're at work yet.  I, unfortunately, kept a buzz on all day long just to feel normal.  I learned to drive while I was drinking at 15, and I had been drinking every day from the age of 12, so when I quit at 29, I was afraid I wouldn't know how anymore.
You seem to be seriously questioning your quality of life and that's a good place to start.  You don't have to live like this anymore.  Have you considered treatment?  And make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. They know all about dependency issues and mood disorders.  But as you already know, addiction will kill you -- or as we say, "Death, institutions, or jail."  Not a happy picture, I'm afraid.  
A good therapist is wonderful for putting things in perspective and learning how to live life on life's terms.  Somehow along the way, either my parents didn't teach me or I didn't learn, I was never able to figure out how to cope with life and when something came up, I'd just have a drink, and then the problem would solve itself, usually not in my favor, but at least I didn't have to make a decision.      
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Avatar universal
As for your comment about Christianity in AA, there's more of a spirituality going on, a sense of we're all one, pulling together as a group and drawing strength from each other, rather than any religion.  In 18 years, I've probably heard Jesus mentioned a handful of times.  For some reason that's just not done.  There are people of all religions and no religion, agnostics and atheists.  The main thing is we're all trying to stay sober one day at a time, and while there may be an oddball here and there, I don't care if you believe in God or not, as long as you stay sober and stay alive.  LIke I said before, keep an open mind, remember what you're there for, stick with the winners, find yourself someone you like to hear share in meetings and ask that guy to be your sponsor and call him every day. (or I don't really know if you're a man or a woman. The general rule is to only have for a sponsor someone that you could never be interested in having sex with.)  And then do all those other things I said before about the book, the meetings, etc.  You sound like you're ready to do something to change your life and I really commend you for that.  Get ready, you won't believe how great it can be!
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307197 tn?1193082159
needsreaders -  I'll try to respond to your productive comments a little later.  Oh, and thanks again for taking the time.  Do you accept email?  Send me a note if you do, I may need to talk more in depth.  Yes, I do need to change my life.  The time is now before my health fails.  I'm in good status, thank God (been checked out) fortunately.  Yes, I want a sponsor, but the right one and preferably a women who likes to email.  Im picky that way.
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Avatar universal
I've found that it's best to have a sponsor that you can meet with in person and go to meetings with, but you can have friends in AA all over. Sure, you can write me, but how do you go about that?  I mean, do I just write my e-mail address out here?  Like I said, I've never done forums before.  And I saw over somewhere else where you went to the doctor and got started with librium.  That's quite a step!  
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307197 tn?1193082159
No, I don't take librium; the other guy posting does.  And no, don't write your email out here, although a personal note through this forum would work.  Just highlight my name and send a message, if interested.
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Avatar universal
My other account got messed up was 'darkmeat'... now is dark69meat.  Oh, I refuse to take anything like librium as a side note.  Again, your above comments I'll address very soon.  Thanks
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Avatar universal
I agree with needsreaders except for the AA thing. I was in the hospital for 10 days till I could relearn to simply walk. The problem I have with AA is that they are the same people who did the abuse thing on me when I was a minor so I get trust and flash back problems.

So with that said find a good substance abuse and psych therapist. Make sure the substance abuse person isn't an AA member and the psych person is a woman. AA members will concentrate too much on AA to the exclusion of real treatment and women seem to be more authentic.

Since Alcoholism is a disease see a psych and get the proper medication to see you through this condition. All that matters is your health and the therapist and psych are a good team to have on your side.

"I was a high functioning drunk for a long time". lol. So were we all. I got a 126 score on an IQ test when quite drunk (after quite a few years of being quite drunk). If you don't get control you will start getting toward the edge of dementia and permenant brain function impairment.

I am suffering from a schizoaffective disorder comorbid with borderline personality and PTSD. I can only observe the scenes going on in my head never mind control or understand them. It was time for me to stop before I became like the creepy zombie that was my old man.
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220476 tn?1212719350
Wow.  Your story is very informative.  Thank you.  How often did you see your psych. while detoxing?  This may be the way to go for me.  I'm scared to go to an AA meeting.  I'm curious about it though.  My husband said he would go with me.  Please keep posting.  

Charlie
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