Sex and Sobriety

[Lovedone12]

My boyfriend has been sober for a month and a half.  I was wondering if anyone could give me some insight on what sex is like during recovery.  After the first week, he told me that he didn't have any sex drive.  We have only had sex 3 times since he began outpatient treatment.  I am wondering what is normal during this stage and what to expect.  Thanks!

[ibizan]

hahahah!oh walter u really made me laff this morn!so good to hear from u!Our culture has really done a number on men and women brainwashing them with these Cosmopolitan magazine ideals of being sex machines!such hogwash!Endure?we have endured these stupid notions!:)

[walternowotny]

I hear you...the word I hate is "ENDURANCE"....Endure what?
Walter

[ibizan]

how i hate that word PERFORM....we r not circus animals or actors./actresses...whoever came up with that?yuck!needs to be done away with!

[jml1986]

Let me add to what the other poster said. For some recovering men preforming without alcohol is like a severe case of stage fright. They have so many things going through their minds that what if they are unable to preform like they should, then that is just one more thing that they will have to deal with and they don't think they can handle it at first. It took my husband about a year to totally open up about the sex issue. While I would get frustrated with him about it, I realized that once he did open up, it was me that was still really guarded about it as well, and it took me alot longer then him to get through it.

[ibizan]

this is not what u want to hear but what he is going thru is normal.....ppl...women and men get to used to functioning or lack of under the influence of alcohol and that is their norm....take it away and they feel like they have 2 left feet and many feelings of insecurity inside that men will not readily admit to or be open to discuss..if ur man is willing to discuss how he feels at this time that would be great...but it is a tenuous touchy time.