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Alcoholism Community
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Avatar universal

Sick and Tired of being sick and tired

New here... Ok, where to begin? I am a 39 year old male. I am relatively healthy with the exception of my alcoholism and smoking tobacco. I have been abusing myself for 24 years! It started slow and has escalated to the point I cant do anymore. Over the years I have lost many things, and I am about to lose more. I do not wish to continue drinking any longer. I have been exposed to AA in the past. I realize its value. I was also thinking of trying Antabuse as a deterent. I am a very capable worker and very good friend and partner who does not know how to stop after a few. I have recognized this for a long time, never could do anything about it. I could really use some input. Im done! I just dont know the best way to go about it. Never used a forum before, but think it may be very valuable to have others advice as I begin this journey. Thanks for any wisdom you may be able to lend!
6 Responses
Avatar universal
I should have added, I drink mostly beer. 8-12 a day, every day. Annd have functioned ok considering (work every day and do my absolute best to love those close to me) on a good day. On a bad day it may be 12-20 beers and throw in 2-4 shots and I am a little more confrontational and still work the next morning, but probably not as well as I could. On these days, I have been accused of hurting others by my drinking. Never phyiscaly of course, but by them seeing me in such a state of mind. I treat others very good, but I obviously hurt them by hurting myself and accusing them of not loving me. I have deppression issues related to failed relationships and drink from pain, or so I yell myself. I really need to stop this way of life!
Avatar universal
My fiancee has alcoholism issues and admitted he needs help but he doesn't want me to be with him anymore because he doesn't feel I deserve someone like him and can do better :( I told him I would support him through it all and he said that he wouldn't ever expect someone like me to have to go through the ordeal of supporting him to get off alcohol. I think at least there's a conversation now. We got engaged last yr and he's been having drinking problems for the 3 yrs we've been together but it's on / off and it isn't a full blown alcoholism
1056851 tn?1318720978
just want to send encouragement...you can do it ...I did..over 70days now...alcohol free. I too was very similar in consomation as the poster.
It can be done , cold turkey. xox to you
Avatar universal
I found this forum by looking for help for my sister who is a prescription pill junkie. Very scary also, but she and I quit drinking over 2 years ago. I also drank alot of wine every day. I was aware and scared, but still was drinking. I did alot of court imposed rehab due to DUI. DUI/Courts/Lawyers/Rehab are big business raking in a lot of money. Rehab relies heavily upon AA. People think you can't do it without AA. I guess it depends where your head is. I wanted to be "cured." I did what they said. I quit for a while. I wore the ankle bracelet, I did time in jail. It did not work. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent on lawyers, fines, rehab clinics later, I was selling my blood to get cash for booze. I was a big shot Realtor, am still a beautiful woman, a loving mother, daughter, friend, sister. I always was all of those things. Quitting drinking was easy once IIIIIII decided to. I think all the education from rehab and AA helped in the long run, but I do not do AA or need to or want to. I did read Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Control Alcohol." It was the turning point. I also don't read self-help books, but mysteriously (maybe I was just ready) this did. I am a very proud smart woman. I think a video of me drunk would have helped. To see myself stupid, repeating myself, eyes out of focus, etc. could have helped embarrass me into getting this done sooner. I exchanged my negative addiction for positive addictions. I have graduated college on the presidential honor roll. My family is so happy! My friends are dancing! I am healthy! I am alive! I love and live and love and live I am so happy!
It is scary. I started as an experiment. To lose weight is what I said. My drinking buddies were so sad! I was uncomfortable with my body, my feelings. I did get a prescription for citalopram, depression, and ambien, sleeping. One of my biggest fears of being sober, was not being able to sleep. I promised myself I would never drink and do pills! Getting off the depressant alcohol, getting on an anti-depressant, getting lots of sleep, good food, love from my people, stimulation for my mind and body.WOW! I too lost much. I went back to school on financial aid. Saving money from not drinking also helps. I also am very careful with my cash and save and plan until I have enough to visit my children in San Diego and Bainbridge Island Washington.
I remember being at a seminar for Department of Vocational Rehab shortly after getting sober. The presenter said to "stay away from toxic people!" I raised my hand and said "I am so grateful to the people that did not abandon me when I was toxic!" I share that with my people. I remember that so vividly and I want to be a blessing, a reward to those who loved and love me through all I went through!
You can do it! Are you going to let alcohol bully you? Are you going to let alcohol turn you into a girl? Be tougher than alcohol. It is not your friend. It doesn't care if you are in jail or eating out of a dumpster. Your problems are still there when you sober up, only worse. One of my fears was not being funny or witty. Hah! I am funnier than ever! Another was my association of alcohol with fun. My therapist wisely pointed out, fun times are just fun. The fact that you drink when you eat, or dance, or party, does not make the party any more fun. The party just is fun. If it is not, then you are better off finding one that is!
5620842 tn?1371079797
Hi, waytoomuch
I used antabuse off and on for a few years.  For me it was what they call white knuckle sobriety. You are making changes to your situation but not to yourself.  When I really decided that I'd had enough, (hit bottom), I knew where to go. AA has some kind of magic which stems from drunks helping other drunks and turning their life over to a power greater than themselves.  If you really want it and are willing to go to any length to get it, sobriety is yours.
I listened to old timers & went to 90 mtgs in 90 days. Haven't had a drink in 28 yrs. own a home across from beach in Hi, have Harley, pit bull, jeep and beautiful squaw with kids and grandkids, all 'cause I worked the program. AA works.  I got involved in the church, quit going to meetings and years later my doctor put me on vicodin then oxycodin for shoulder pain.  Did some years of this and quit cold turkey june 1st. So now I'm back in the meetings saying how I made 30 days (yesterday) and really gladtobe there clean and sober. So my friend, I'm here to tell you, if you want it you got it.  Just go tomeetings and work the steps.  BTW I heard antabuse is bad for the liver, and it can be beat  (I did it )  Aloha 'n out, Bill
Avatar universal
Hi, it is such an important moment when you realise and accept that you need  help to stop drinking and claim your life back. I stopped drinking using antabuse, it is a great deterrent, I know that any impulse I have to drink is subdued by the fact that I would have to stop taking my medication for at least a week before it would be safe to do so, and of course within minutes I can bring one of these urges under control, when previously an urge to drink like this would have sent me out the door and off to my nearest bar.
Go and see your gp and ask to be prescribed this drug, he/she will also carry out blood tests to determine liver function. I wish you all the best, please let me know how you progress
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