Sobriety is Scary

[phsycodog]

My name is Jim and I am an alcoholic; my last drink was 45 days ago.

I started this post hoping that this would give some of us a chance to share our feelings, fears, experiances, and support mechanisms.

I, for one, am not comfortable in groups of people (sharing my feelings or not), so I was hoping this might give me (and others like me) both an emotional outlet as well as a forum that doesn’t take me too far out of my comfort zone.

[hiddenpoetry]

I am an alcoholic 4 years sober.  This year, holiday has been the hardest by far that I came so damn close to drinking, I am surprised I didn't. I take a prescription med, and have been taking more of that, so now I have to tell my DR and get me on the right dosage, because the 3 hours it lasts is not enough.  I know I am weak in times of severe stress with any substance.  I am also BP 1, PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, etc.  I also have a tough time going to outside meetings like AA. I don't like large crowds, and also I take medication late afternoon that makes me very sleepy when the meetings are going on.  

[dominosarah]

Using is not an option here.  What sort of prescription drugs were you taking?

[phsycodog]

Any suggestions on what I might do now? I have lots of not very good thoughts...

[phsycodog]

I would agree that I am not my own BFF right now. It's been a culmination of the last three months; alcohol was always just a convenient solution. Or better yet, alcohol mixed with some prescription drugs. That's what I miss.

I was doing so well...now this. Very confused. So very confused.

[dominosarah]

If you can sing the song and take them out in order you get bonus pts!!

The good times are good but the bad times can be brutal.  We sound like a broken record but it will pass.  Try not to spend alot of time in your head as we dont make very good playmates in there.  I am proud of you for what you are accomplishing here.  It is tough but you are doing it, one day at a time~~

[phsycodog]

I will be up most of the night waiting for Santa, Glock in my lap. If he enters by house, I consider that breaking and entering; I also set up Claymore's around my fireplace. Let him try that fireplace sh** around here.

Not to go from the gutter and straight to the sewer, but you most definatly haven't been playing in my sandbox if POOF and it's over is the final act...


Back to my mental health health, I am hanging on to my sanity by a precariously thin thread. I'm trying not to be overly dramatic, but I don't know where this came from. Just jumped onto my back from nowhere.


I'm kinda looking forward to seeing the reindeer; it'll be like target practice: BANG, down goes Dasher, BANG, down goes Dancer, BANG, down goes Comet: do I get more points if I take them out in order? If you see Santa, tell him he may want to avoid my house...