Aa
Staying sober?
I get invited to some many parties and end up getting drunk. I would like to know how one can avoid alcohol at party and still have fun?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome to our forum!i'm so glad i never harmed anyone as a result of my drunk/drugged driving.I so love my sober/clean life today and my retired greyhounds are my 4 legged therapists/companions!:)11-22 will be 28 yrs.or recovery for me.Holidays?they will come and go like any other day!
Even though my alcoholism was cut short by an emergency trip to the hospital due to pancreas pain, which then lead to a 2 week propofol drip and 5 days to wake up before being released back into "the world", it was my choices after that, that were the most important.
If I was serious about staying off of alcohol, and I certainly was, then I had to cut my friends that drank out of my life, that was a given. I called them, they said they understood, but those friendships mostly do not exist anymore. It didn't matter, what did matter was the taking control of my health, my life.
December 19th, 2008 was my release date from the hospital, I have stayed sober since, but my life is not even a shadow of what it used to be, so I have succeeded in conquering alcohol. I see my old friends from time to time and I can see the slow rot of what alcohol will eventually do to them, just like it did to me. I say 'hi', they ask me if I'm still sober, I nod and they wish me luck.
My social life is with online church friends, family and Kami, my American Akita dog. We take walks and talk with people at the dog park, it is nice and no one there has offered to buy me a drink. Truly, you MUST remove the problem from your life, you cannot go back to what you were doing and have any success, I was a nightly barfly. I will be sober 3 years, December 19th, 2011, the holiday parties are coming up and I will tell the inviters, 'I'm sorry I can't attend, I hope you enjoy yourselves', this is the ONLY way to remove alcohol from your life.
If you would like to hear more about the nightmare of my alcoholism, let me know. I never killed anyone, or had a DUI, I was very fortunate, because I drove drunk my drunk friends home. It is the physical toll that I can speak directly to, let me know if you would like to hear more, that side of alcoholism isn't any prettier.
If I was serious about staying off of alcohol, and I certainly was, then I had to cut my friends that drank out of my life, that was a given. I called them, they said they understood, but those friendships mostly do not exist anymore. It didn't matter, what did matter was the taking control of my health, my life.
December 19th, 2008 was my release date from the hospital, I have stayed sober since, but my life is not even a shadow of what it used to be, so I have succeeded in conquering alcohol. I see my old friends from time to time and I can see the slow rot of what alcohol will eventually do to them, just like it did to me. I say 'hi', they ask me if I'm still sober, I nod and they wish me luck.
My social life is with online church friends, family and Kami, my American Akita dog. We take walks and talk with people at the dog park, it is nice and no one there has offered to buy me a drink. Truly, you MUST remove the problem from your life, you cannot go back to what you were doing and have any success, I was a nightly barfly. I will be sober 3 years, December 19th, 2011, the holiday parties are coming up and I will tell the inviters, 'I'm sorry I can't attend, I hope you enjoy yourselves', this is the ONLY way to remove alcohol from your life.
If you would like to hear more about the nightmare of my alcoholism, let me know. I never killed anyone, or had a DUI, I was very fortunate, because I drove drunk my drunk friends home. It is the physical toll that I can speak directly to, let me know if you would like to hear more, that side of alcoholism isn't any prettier.
When deciding to make an important change in your life like giving up or cutting down on your drinking it's important and sometimes necessary to distance yourself from certain types of people in your life and certain situations.
Maybe one day you can go to parties or even to a bar and not be tempted to drink but if you're early in your quitting it's probably not a great idea to have the temptation right in front of you. If this means cutting ties with certain people and certain social situations then so be it. Remember the big picture here and the endgame. Your emotional and physical health is the important thing. If the people who are inviting you to these parties are your friends they'll completely understand. If they try to encourage you to drink or to otherwise blow off your recovery then they're not good influences in your life and you really need to be prepared to write them off.
Focus on your mental and physical health. Being a bit anti-social for a while is the least of your worries.
If, on the other hand, you can go to these parties and only have a couple of drinks and/or not drink at all then go ahead and do that. If you have to get blasted then that's not a good sign and I'd try to stay away from that crowd for a while.
Maybe one day you can go to parties or even to a bar and not be tempted to drink but if you're early in your quitting it's probably not a great idea to have the temptation right in front of you. If this means cutting ties with certain people and certain social situations then so be it. Remember the big picture here and the endgame. Your emotional and physical health is the important thing. If the people who are inviting you to these parties are your friends they'll completely understand. If they try to encourage you to drink or to otherwise blow off your recovery then they're not good influences in your life and you really need to be prepared to write them off.
Focus on your mental and physical health. Being a bit anti-social for a while is the least of your worries.
If, on the other hand, you can go to these parties and only have a couple of drinks and/or not drink at all then go ahead and do that. If you have to get blasted then that's not a good sign and I'd try to stay away from that crowd for a while.
Well, this may sound repetitive and I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but the only sure way to stay sober is to stay home or to find a sober activity to engage in. Boring? Yes. It can be at times when you THINK everybody but yourself is having a good time. But.....are they? Will they remember that "Goodtime" as a productive or wholesome part of their lives?
I know that I don't. I might have had good times. I can't remember but a handful, and even then only bits and pieces of 25 years gone by. Mostly the bad bits and pieces.
I can only glean from your vague inquiry that you are having a problem with your drinking and you wish to stop but still have fun. What that is going to take is a whole NEW way of thinking and living, and as hard as that may sound, YOU have it within yourself to do it.
If you would like to take that step you have come to the right place for there are many here to help guide you into various programs, AA meets, etc. -- Life without alcohol seems impossible at first but there is no greater joy than to find you have the strength within you, to not only STOP drinking, but to START living as well!! You must be willing to reach out for that waiting helpful hand that's ready to help pull you from the ravages of addiction. It takes humility. A WHOLE lot of it, to admit an addiction has more power than yourself and that you can't do it on your own.
I pray you find this humility and the help you seek. Godbless, .... ~ Burrpatch
I know that I don't. I might have had good times. I can't remember but a handful, and even then only bits and pieces of 25 years gone by. Mostly the bad bits and pieces.
I can only glean from your vague inquiry that you are having a problem with your drinking and you wish to stop but still have fun. What that is going to take is a whole NEW way of thinking and living, and as hard as that may sound, YOU have it within yourself to do it.
If you would like to take that step you have come to the right place for there are many here to help guide you into various programs, AA meets, etc. -- Life without alcohol seems impossible at first but there is no greater joy than to find you have the strength within you, to not only STOP drinking, but to START living as well!! You must be willing to reach out for that waiting helpful hand that's ready to help pull you from the ravages of addiction. It takes humility. A WHOLE lot of it, to admit an addiction has more power than yourself and that you can't do it on your own.
I pray you find this humility and the help you seek. Godbless, .... ~ Burrpatch
Hi,
If you find you cannot stick to one or two alcoholic drinks then go out with the intention of only drinking non-alcoholic beverages. You have to remind yourself that drinking isnt actually the 'fun' part of the party - games, conversation, food and music can all be enjoyed without that booze. You could invent games, take old board games and adapt them or just stick to computer game or pool competitions. The best thing is that you will actually remember the good parts and you won't feel rotten the next day either!
If you find it uncomfortable to be sober at parties where a lot of your friends are getting drunk then perhaps you should consider finding a new social circle with people who like to do fun things that don't involve alcohol/having an almighty hangover the following day.
If you still wish to go to parties where others are getting drunk you could consider being the 'designated driver' and play the role of sober look out for your friends, by giving yourself this responsibilty you can automatically negate alcohol based on the part you are playing within the group.
Hope this helps
If you find you cannot stick to one or two alcoholic drinks then go out with the intention of only drinking non-alcoholic beverages. You have to remind yourself that drinking isnt actually the 'fun' part of the party - games, conversation, food and music can all be enjoyed without that booze. You could invent games, take old board games and adapt them or just stick to computer game or pool competitions. The best thing is that you will actually remember the good parts and you won't feel rotten the next day either!
If you find it uncomfortable to be sober at parties where a lot of your friends are getting drunk then perhaps you should consider finding a new social circle with people who like to do fun things that don't involve alcohol/having an almighty hangover the following day.
If you still wish to go to parties where others are getting drunk you could consider being the 'designated driver' and play the role of sober look out for your friends, by giving yourself this responsibilty you can automatically negate alcohol based on the part you are playing within the group.
Hope this helps
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