Why do I drink and what effect is it having on me

[DRUNKENBUM]

Hi there,

I have a problem.

Every 2 to 3 months I go an a bender which usually consists of at least 1 litre of vodka every day for a week which leaves me bed ridden for up to 5 days whilst I sober up.

I am not a functioning alcoholic and can go for weeks without touching a drop.

Apart from my marraige and relationship with my son, what damage will this be doing to me and what could be the triggers?

I have tried AA but dont get too much time with work.

When Im not on a bender I drink around 3 bottles of 5% beer on a friday night.  9 on a Saturday and 6 on a Sunday.  

Whilst sobering up from these benders I can't keep any food down, have no energy at all and get pains in my abdomen.  Is this a sign of fatty liver disease?

Best Regards

[mombojombo]

I'm glad you are here buddy. You do indeed sound, I'm sorry to say, a functioning alcoholic.  Even your non bender drinking which sounds to be a lot of beer every weekend is a lot.  Alcoholism is a progressive disease.  You'll probably drink more and more and have more frequent episodes of the vodka binges.  You may be early stage but you seem to not be able to resist the urge to drink excessively.  Discontinuing the benders will help.  Anything that moves you toward being more healthy in your life is a good thing.  Start there and then maybe you can eliminate the weekend beer eventually as well.  

There is online support these days.  The AA book to read and work the program on your own? What triggers the bender?  Working on your triggers may help.  Counseling can be virtual right now too.  This is helpful because you can slide it in even if you have a heavy work schedule.  Your phone can work to have these sessions in your car out in the parking lot during a break.  

Remember that binge drinking can be dangerous.  Alcohol poisoning is real and can be fatal. Monitor your drinking.  Stop this from happening.  Can you do that?  Or is it too far gone for that approach?

[DRUNKENBUM]

Thanks for your response Mombojombo.

This is a great way of sharing this as like I say I dont have much time to visit the AA or the GP.  Thanks for the advice on the AA book too.  I will look in to that.

I think that the triggers for the binges actually stem from the weekend.  If I stick to my limits ot less I am usually fine.  If i go over or drink anything else i.e. vodka, it can be a painful Monday morning which is when the sneaky miniatures before work start.

I also think its too easy to forget how painful those last five days in bed ridden where once a couple of months has passed.

My current thought process is ‘no more’ however I know this is easier said than done, especially in social situations.  I intend to set myself limits at the weekend like you suggest and no vodka!

Thanks for getting in touch

[mombojombo]

Hey there.  How is it going?  This is always a hard weekend with labor day.  I'm sure it is a big trigger, LONG weekend with holiday.  I hope you sticking to no vodka.  Baby steps, improves things slowly, but improves them.  I'm thinking of you.  Let me know how it is going!

[DRUNKENBUM]

HI, thanks for the message.  Sorry I replied late but Ive not been on here for a while.
Things have been going well.  I have be regularly attending a gym and only drinking about 3-6 beers on a friday, saturday and Sunday.
The gym is closed now though as we are in a national lockdown but I have still not been on another bender.
How are you ?  Hope you are keeping well too

[mombojombo]

Good to hear from you! Lock downs are rough.  I started doing some work outs online.  Youtube is great.  I have some weights at home too.  And are you allowed to go out for runs/hikes?  

I'm glad you have cut down on the drinking.  It's hard but if you monitor it really closely and stay controlled with it, you may never have to progress to more.  The fear is that you could.  I have a good buddy who drinks just one night a week. Fridays. He gets a bit hammered but it's the one day and one day only.  Very disciplined and he's been doing it for about 20 years.  So, it can be done.  Maybe cut down on one of the days though.  Then it is just two days a week.  But sounds controlled well now and reasonable.  Does being locked down depress you?  It does me.  

[ibizan]

When is the last time you had a visit with your family MD?And were 100% honest with them?I agree with mombojombo-you  do indeed sound like a functioning alcoholic!There is such a thing called the weekend warrior drinker!I used to be one for years,then decided I could drink during the week!To sum it up,I was a miserable failure at social drinking!It sounds like you make TIME for drinking!If AA is not your cup of tea,look into other support groups that you may benefit from......there are many roads to recovery!

[DRUNKENBUM]

Hi, Im sorry but Im not sure what a family MD is??
I agree with you about the 'Weekend Warrior'  This is how my problems started!  As above things are going ok at the moment.  
How are you?  I hope you are well too.

[ibizan]

Family MD means your medical doctor! I'm doing decently, thanks for asking between this COVID life and turbulent times!

[mombojombo]

How are you doing during the holidays?  I am thinking of you.  

[ibizan]

is this for me or drunkenbum?I'm well if its for me. Celebrated 37 years sober/clean 11-22!Living the COVID life and staying safe. Hope you are too! take care!

[mombojombo]

well ibizan, I'll talk to anyone who answers me.  ha ha.  Looking for chat time to people who understand and KNOW.  That's awesome about 37 YEARS sober.  EVER have any urges or is this just a non issue for you anymore?

[ibizan]

My first two years were the ones I had the greatest urges! I made up my mind to refuse to give into them. Then as I continued to hang w/sober/clean people, no bars, no drugs...360 degree lifestyle change they subsided. THEN in 2006 @23 years of recovery, my dad passed, and my beloved mother was dx'd w/two kinds of cancer and Lewy Body Dementia(Robin Williams had this)and for the next 8 years until she passed in 2014,I would have these 15 minute urges to get high as I was driving to go visit her. It amazed me how intense they were, but then my emotional pain was at an all time high watching this articulate loving woman be reduced to a pile of delusional, ill rubble. I laughed at myself thinking "Yea, right Turdhead". Getting high will change it right? I-we know better......so I worked through the emotional pain naturally, which is what ALL of us who want recovery must do if we want to remain sober. Life will give us BOOMERANGS and it is during this time of upheaval is when we need to be on guard and be ever so vigilant. And, one of the most beautiful things out of that was, even in the midst of her dementia, my mom NEVER forgot my sobriety date of 11-22-83.She would always say" I'm so proud of you ,and I know it hasn't been an easy journey". I truly believe that if things in life come easy, they usually leave 2x as fast as they came! The journey and the work, for me has been well worth it!

[philtom]

SLOW DOWN ON THE BENDERS  (NOT AS MUCH) TRY AND STAY OFF VODKA ITS A KILLER--- TAKE 600 MG OF NAC BEFORE YOU DRINK LIKE I USED TO---(MAKE SURE IT WONT INTERFEREWITH MEDS YOU MIGHT BE TAKING