Hi,
Good advice from above ^ ibizan...
Honestly, I think you are in some denial about your drinking. Denial is a defense mechanism all of us use when we are faced with an issue that we cannot come to terms with, or know how to cope with... I thought and felt exactly the same as you do now, when I was in my early 20's ~ a lot of us old alcoholics did the same exact thing you are doing now. Funny thing was, I never saw a problem with my drinking, especially because I thought I was a shining example of responsibility; I worked 60+ hrs. a week at a great paying job; took great pride in being a volunteer in my free time; was happily married, and I was a homeowner. Naturally at a young age, there was now way I could have foreseen all the problems that alcohol would cause me in the future; let's just say my drinking cost me a lot and everything I cared about, and I don't just mean financially :(
If you are an alcoholic (which is quite possible), moderate drinking does not work; it may work for a little while, but that never lasts ~ I know, I've tried, and so have millions of others. Stopping drinking isn't the hard part, it's staying off the booze & staying dry that is the hardest .. There's a site you can go to for more info. on this: goodtherapy.org (type alcohol addiction in the search bar)...
For actual help that is confidential ( yet it will cost you money, unless your insurance plan covers it) you can seek therapy through an Addiction Therapist or Addiction Counselor... Really, it takes educating yourself w/ help, before you can empower yourself.
Good Luck and Take Care :)
The work it takes to get off an alcohol/drug dependency is very well worth it.For many of us here we had to get sick n tired of being sick n tired which means many efforts at controlled use and many failures.If you crave alcohol that is a definite RED LIGHT!Can you do it by yourself?Maybe!Sustained recovery is usually found in a support group of folks who role model how its done!You note the things it hasn't ruined YET!I had a bachelors degree plus a masters degree and had a position when i got sober/clean.I stopped using these as a cover and then really got EDUCATED!