Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

hitting rock bottom

have already made an appointment with an addictions specialist (pat on back :)) but i just wanted to share my story with you all. For the last three years since I was raped at gun point by two men, I have drunk uncontrollably to the point of black out. I had a few episodes where I had to be carried out of my boyfriend's family's functions. Very embarassing to say the least. I have driven home blacked out, and I have done some ridiculous things. Well, my boyfriend went away last week, amd I drank two bottles of wine on an empty stomach. I blacked out for about the remainder of the night. The next morning I woke up and found bruises on my elbow, arms, legs, and head (I guess I fell) Then I saw big huge cuts all over my arms  and a pair of scissors next to my bed. I was sick to my stomach. Then my neighbor came over because he was concerned with me. Why? Because I showed up at his house in a bath towel and barefoot screaming that i had lost my puppy. After hours of searching for her, we found her a few blocks over. Thank God she was OK. I am so disgusted with myself, and I want help so bad. I would like to think of myself as a good person. If anyone doesn't mind, can they share their "rock bottom" story that made them get help? THanks
12 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
how do i delete a repeat?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Listen to me very carefully ok...  and I mean it!  

If you are drinking so much alcohol to describe the things you listed in your post you are playing russian roulette.  Your body basically shuts down after drinking so heavily and protects itself by in doing so.  We all know that we are capable of doing things in a "blackout phase" without remembering or being able to recall the events of the "night before" so with that being said....  You have already found yourself in rather "precarious" situations because of this but what if one day you had one or two to many and did something really stupid (like get in a car) or just plain old die from it?

Every year thousands of people die from alcohol poisoning and they generally happen in the same setting as you have described in your post.  (Especially when consuming large quatities of alcohol on an empty stomach).  You obviously drank on an empty stomach because it is one of the signs of a true alcoholic.  We all know that we get a better, quicker buzz on an empty stomach but not many alcoholics realize the danger in doing so.  

I have some sad news for you and possibly even your family as well.  If this is not your "rock bottom" then the next step very well likely be death.  Or possibly the death of someone else.      

I'm glad you have your appointment with an addiction specialist but to be honest.... It sounds to me like you might need a little stint in an inpatient treatment center.  We are wishing the best for you and praying for you as well.  Hang in there.  You already know what you need to do.  

Lotsatrout
Helpful - 0
365714 tn?1292199108
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you for the concern. i am very worried, but i do believe that was rock bottom. if not, i believe i do need to away to an inpatient facility. so glad i recognized this before it ended my life.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Of course you can put it in your article.
Helpful - 0
365714 tn?1292199108
Okay thanks. I don't know how my middle initial changed from a J to an F, but I'm bad at typos myself so I have no room to make note of that.

Would you like me to send you some helpful links I found (or was sent) in researching?  I'd like you to send me a pm if you're interested.
Helpful - 0
365714 tn?1292199108
I have two medhelp pages, one end stage stories and the other being what made people want to quit. I wish the two can be merged together, but for now I'll put your story on both and if you wish you or another member can delete it from the less relevent topic.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oops sorry about the typo. I would love to see some helpful links.
Helpful - 0
365714 tn?1292199108
I didn't see this message, but I sent them to you anyway because I was thinking of you after seeing your post. Now I'm off to _late_ bedtime... Hopefully this time I'll actually sleep before the sun rises...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know that you are thinking that the problem is drinking, and to be honest it IS a problem; but you need to address the real problem; the rape.  Have you talked to someone about that?  I have had to pleaseure of dealing with many addicts, I don't know they all seem to come into my life at one point in time!! But with ALL of them, there was something "bad" that happened to them that drove them to the drink ( or drug).  My mom was an alcoholic, she grew up in an abusive houshold.  My husband was addicted to coke and alcohol, he grew up in a wonderful home, but was adopted and wanted to know why his mom didn't want him.  A friend was addicted to crack, his dad left his mom and his mom was an alcoholic too.  Now I am not saying this was a good excuse for ANY of them to try to solve their problems, but it was the way that they coped.  Know that no amount of alcohol is going to solve that hurt that you feel; in fact all it does is make the matters worse (as you see happening).  I grew up with my mother being an alcoholic, she did and said some pretty mean stuff to me and my brothers; I suffered emotional, sexual, and physical abuse; and I do not have one addiction.  I had to understand that just because I suffered, my suffering will not be solved with drinking.  

Talk to someone about the rape, get some help.  I think that when that happens your urge to "forget" by drinking will go away on its own.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi. Thank you so much for the advice. It's funny that you wrote that post because I saw the addictions specialist on August 12th, and he told me that I really needed a therapist because my addiction is not physicial : I don't have the shakes, I'm not having seizures. I already am seeing a therapist, but he had told me that he doesn't have experience in addictions. I guess the alcohol abuse is more of an aftermath than a problem...(not belittling it in any means) so I'm just going to continue to see the same therapist and take it one day at a time.

Thanks again for the concern :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Good for you!  Keep working on the pain from the rape.  I promise that now that you realize the reasons for your drinking, you will be able to kick this habit!  Knowing is half the battle!

Know that the rape was not your fault, you did not ask for it; but it did happen.  Forgive those men in your heart, for they were not walking in the Lord. Once you can forgive them, it will start your healing within you.  Find strength in the Lord, because I will tell you firsthand that he CAN heal you, if you ask.

Stay Strong
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Alcoholism Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
Nebulae, OH
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.