Im trying to think of my break up this way.......
Thank god he walked out. I found out so anymore things about him that would of made much more difficult to live with.
I try to research get support like here.
Thanks for the advice on forgiving. Im still not sure what im going to do when I have to face my ex in court. Im nervous as H****.
Any good ideas on that one everyone...
Glad your talking this out ings81!!!
Have you thought of seeing other people... it does help. i went to music in the park with someone (im dating i guess) and then he made dinner... It was nice for someone to do for me... It was very enjoyable.
I swapped rooms till then... My office is now my lil bedroom. My office is our old bedroom. jsut something differant.
*oh and i sold our mattress and bed
I can totally agree with you on the forgiving part, I wont go into detail but I have been hurt very very bad by my sons father and his wife( whom I never knew about I might add till later) , they selfish actions have left me hard to trust the new people I allow into my life , my councillor told me that I don’t have to verbally forgive them both but say it to myself and now only the odd time I think about my past memories but its took me 12 months to get this far and a every day reminder of my ex with my son whose the spit of him, the saying ‘time heals’ is very very true.
The only way you will get pass this anger towards the past is to learn to "forgive". Once you have forgiven all the a-- h--- that have deeply offended you, that inner rage and anger will leave you. I know...been there, done that. I held a grude towards someone who broke my heart when I was only 17 yrs. I hated this man with my heart and core of my soul. I was tormented by the memory of his cheating. As I got older, I realized that at the time, I did not have the coping skills necessary to deal with the situation of rejection. I feel sorry for the the men that have cross my path. I was pure hell. Always angry, bitter and confrontational..I took no **** from anyone! I held the grude for over 25 yrs. I finally with time decided to forgive him. I didn't have to like him or ever see him again, but forgive him and finally move forward and although I run into him ocassionally and he married the girl he cheated with, I am able to see him as just a person from my past who is insignificant, but I had to learn to forgive him and forgive myself for letting him get to me to that extreme. A little maturity helped also....good luck!
The excellent book I suggested has profanity in the title.
The name of the book is called " F-ck yes".
Besides, words are less important than the meaning behind it. The WORD "f-ck" is harmless, unless it's used in a derogatory way. Get my meaning?
I guess having a little bit of a sense of humor is a double edge sword.
I'm pretty sure ings81 GOT the joke. At least. I can hope.
Speaking of addiction........getting high..........what you describe are natural highs created by doing something positve like running, created naturally by the body. Your's is questionable, and do you know of any good books on "Why One Feels The Need to Preface Everything With Profanity".........I guess you're addicted to that word!
There are a ton of good books on this. Go to your library or bookstore and look for Self-Help books. I've had to learn to let go of a lot of anger from my past, as it eats you up and prevents you from moving on with your life. What is done is done, and no amount of anger will change this. Try to look at what you can change now, and change it, and accept that some things are out of your control, and anger will not change this. I know it's cliche, but so true. Break-ups are so hard, and the anger can be intense, but think if you are achieving anything with this anger, and go from there. Some people thrive on knowing they have this kind of power over you, so don't allow anyone to have this kind of power! We are the only one totally in control of our feelings, only we decide what kind of day we will have, nothing and nobody puts you in a bad mood, you choose to be in a bad mood. All I'm saying is that YOU are truly in control of how you feel. I'm not just talking either, I've battled this for many years and have to keep reminding myself of these things, and it does make life easier.
F-ck yes I do (lol)
I read this book when I was 18, while I was going through some rough times and I laughed my *** off!! It's called:
F-ck, Yes!: A Guide to the Happy Acceptance of Everything (Paperback)
It was written by wing.f.fing
Some times it's really healthy to escape. I read somewhere StRONG emotions are addictive ( like Anger and some other stuff that you might go through in a break up ).
Read somewhere too that laughter releases endorphins, an addictive substance made by the body.
.....Ever hear of "runner's high"? It's an addictive high runners get from the release of endorphines when they run. These f-cking nuts actually get off on this stuff!!!