Can HOCD/POCD take fake erection and excitement?

[Hamster123]

Hi, i'm 20 years old guy. From young years i have Pure-OCD, now ifight with HOCD/POCD. I have groinal response and weird warm feel in my chest when i see man, and if i only hears about child. Yesterday i was seen on P*****B a film. The girl on film was 19 years old but she has a young face. When i see this miniature i was strong erection and excitement( don't fell like normal but ot was in gron) but my mind was clear and i was panic and i was afraid.( I have been abusing pornography for many years, and now i do not feel so clearly anymore excite). Can OCD do that? I cant life like that anymmore. Sorry or my english.

[Hamster123]

I have not been to the doctor yet. I for a very long time( since maybe i have 5 years old) have many compulsions. Often related with number 5.  Many things what i di when i was playing( i never have friends) i everything I did in my imagination was related to 5. Often i was had intrusive thoughts, witch i fight. When i was 12 i was remembered the bad life events and the dazzling thoughts. Throughout my life, I have always struggled internally with some problem that I have been discussing and worrying over and over again.  There was a moment when I was afraid of acid from a car battery ( i often help my dad witch car repair) and whenever I touched anything that was in contact with the battery I just had to wash my hands. Compulsions were full, for example, I had to sniff 5 rolls before I bit her  I often had intrusive thoughts that something would happen to someone, and then I tried to recall it somehow. This is something that accompanies me all my life and just when I wanted to start to follow a girl a year ago(nothing came of it that probably strengthened it), it started to be hell which which continues to this day.... That situation witch pornography film was  one-off situation. When i checked second time nothing like this happened again. Recently, it began with a powerful groinal reaction. It wasn't normal. There was a powerful reaction from the beginning for a minute without an erection. I decided to wait for it to pass because it usually goes through. And it just happened

[specialmom]

So, you have a long history of anxiety related thoughts and events. This is more evidence to speak to a doctor and get into some therapy.  It could make all the difference for you.  Let us know f there is anything stopping you from seeing a professional for this.

[Hamster123]

My family is very homophobic. I myself was a victim of violence at school and just as a psychologist would go, the family would consider me a madman. I sit on the floor all day long away from people and play games. I am a typical loser and I do not think that a psychologist will change anything.

[Paxiled]

I would encourage you to read what you've written here.  A typical loser -- what is that exactly?  I'm guessing you wouldn't suggest someone else is a loser because they do what they do, but you do it to yourself.  This is a common problem particularly in hard-charging societies prioritizing economic gains over all other values.  The fact is, if you're breathing, you're winning.  Life isn't a contest.  There are no winners and no losers.  If you saw a rabbit in your back yard all plump and munching, you'd say, yeah, the rabbit is winning because the cat next door hasn't eaten it.  It's doing what rabbits do.  It's breathing.  Humans judge themselves by standards set by others -- we all do it -- not by standards set by nature.  This is exactly the kind of thing psychologists might be able to help you with.  I will say, there is a time when the years go by and you get old and there really is no time left to meet your goals or do the things that make life worthwhile for you.  But you're not there.  As to your family being homophobic, truly, almost all of us come from homophobic families.  The major religions of the last two millennia are harshly homophobic.  But societies haven't always been like this -- ancient Greece and Rome were bisexual societies.  So was ancient Egypt.  It was the ascent of Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and the contortion of Marx in particular that have made homophobia so prevalent, but societies are changing.  It's getting more accepting in most places.  How your family is doesn't define you.  You define you, even when you don't realize you're doing it.  Again, this type of defeatist thinking is exactly what psychologists might be able to help you with.  Think about it.  

[specialmom]

Sorry you are having a rough time. I agree that you need to get into therapy right away if you aren't already.   OCD is difficult and I encourage you to discuss this with a psychiatrist.  That is the best way to move past it if you can.  So, OCD is not just the typical rituals that people carry out but there are mental rituals that follow obsessive thought.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201601/mental-rituals-in-obsessive-compulsive-disorder.  So, you'll have to think about how this could or may not be the case with you.  Again, exploring with a doctor is best.  Clearly, you are anxious about things in your life so a therapist would also be very helpful to help sort it out.

Let us know what you think!

[Paxiled]

It's the mental stuff that drives you nuts, Mom.  The rituals wouldn't bother anyone if it didn't come along with those horrid anxious thoughts.  I've been anxious without OCD and anxious with it.  It's awful to have, it wastes so much time.  You hate having to do the thing but if you don't do it you can't function either.  Yuck.

[specialmom]

The rituals can be all mental without the type of thing usually associated with OCD.  You can have mental rituals.  But agree the obsessive, anxious thought is terrible.  

[Paxiled]

I think you're submitting yourself to labels rather than your true problem.  While OCD diagnoses are becoming more and more varied as are most diagnostic categories, you only have OCD if you engage in ritualistic behaviors that if you don't perform them you suffer a lot of anxiety.  All the others are just names for obsessive thinking, and everyone with mental illness has obsessive thinking or they wouldn't be suffering with mental illness.  Why this is important is that the treatment is quite different -- with OCD, you have to get to a point where you don't perform the rituals and realize you will survive it.  Whether this therapy will work or not has no guarantee, but the therapy for all other forms of anxiety is going to be focused on how that anxiety manifests itself.  So you might have OCD, I don't know, but what you're describing above is great insecurity about your sexuality and obsessive anxiety about it.  You don't say if you're acting on what you're afraid of.  You say you abuse pornography, but that too is a subjective and normative concept -- you have to have a moral belief that pornography is wrong to look at to believe this is a problem.  I'm not going there, I don't really have a strong opinion on that -- my bigger interest personally is whether those who make porn are doing it willingly or not, not whether it's right or wrong to look at it -- but I would just suggest that you seem to have a really bad anxiety problem about sexuality and possibly other things and you need to get into therapy about it right away if you're not already there.  You also say you have these forms of OCD, but don't say if you were diagnosed by a professional or are self-diagnosing.  Whichever, you need professional help, and if it's not controllable in therapy, it might mean medication until you get stabilized.