Over a year and a half ago I took LSD for the second time. I was really into psychadelics and 'consciousness expansion' and all that silly stuff proposed in the 60's. Well I had done my research and was pretty sure of myself. I tripped alone with friends, and long story short, had a trip that last 24 hours long, perpetuated by my anxiety and panic that endured throughout the entire trip and I felt like I was still tripping the next day (Never went to bed), while in actuality I was still in a permanent panic mode. There were so many factors thatled to my trip being bad, but essentially I developed an anxiety disorder. On top of that, I was scheduled to study abroad in a WEEK in Germany. I foolishly thought it would be a good idea to take LSD, alone, a week before going to another country, far away.
I spent the entirety of my year in Germany in what I figured was going to become a psychosis of sorts. I was, as you describe, lost in thought, thoughts about my anxieties, thoughts about reality, etc. Even toyed with the old solipsistic view that I am the only one and everyone else is an extension of my existence or imagination. That always turns out dark. Well I cam home for the holidays and was put on prozac. I had also been taking xanax which seemed to work a bit, but by basically turning me into a zombie.
Well when I returned to Germany, one night I was sitting on a castle wall and started vividly imagining myself jumping. And since then I have been obsessed with suicide by jumping from any heights. I would say it is probably OCD, but it's hard to tell. I have been on Zoloft, and a bunch of other random stuff that three different psychiatrists that I have seen have put me on. I am not on anything currently, but seem to be experiencing withdrawal symptoms from alcohol any morning after binge drinking or even in the same night if I only have a few beers or a glass of wine with dinner. I assume this is my body using it as a medication and then when it's out of my system I experience withdrawal from it.
Well, the point is, I am completely obsessed, compulsively with jumping. I think of it anytime i'm near edges, and anytime I am remotely anxious or depressed, as I connect the feelings. Our brain catergorizes, and this is probably where phobias originate.
I also experience strange coincidences on a daily basis, keep seeing the number 23, and also sometime esperience pre cognition, usually with dreams.
Now it probably sounds like I am actually psychotic or have just become another LSD casualty. I can assure you I am of sound mind, and I realize that my brain is probably filtering out certain things because of OCD, so hence the seeing coincidences and the number 23 (A lot of people do experience this, it's not just from the film). I also do, strangely often think of things right before seeing or hearing about them.
I think this is just another example of how little we know of our own brains, and how our understanding of the world may be a tad bit off from what is actually reality. I am not suggesting the supernatural, as this is where most of my fears originate, so anything that IS seemingly supernatural, my OCD brain assimilates towards.
Obviously there are so many details left out, but these are the major points. Every day is a new day, and it seems like there is always a new psychological struggle to jump over. This is what we get for toying with consciousness expansion in a society that isn't exactly friendly to such.