You definitely SHOULD tell your parents and get some counseling! Stay away from ALL kids until you get this figured out!
Hello and welcome!
When you say it "feels like I want to?", do you mean you actually have urges to do this, and think about the actual act (with a sense of pleasure), or is it that you just cannot stop thinking about it?
Obviously, the best answer here is to seek professional help so you can sort this out with them and determine what is going on. It sounds like it could be OCD, or in the least an intrusive thought related to anxiety. A doctor will be able to differentiate between real intent and just fear and obsessive thoughts.
Get yourself an appt with a psychiatrist as soon as you can so you can start working on this, okay? Don't try to just ignore this or get over it yourself. You need the help of a mental health professional.
Let us know how you're doing, okay? Hang in there!
Hi thanks for replying,
I don't really know to be honest, to me it doesn't feel like for pleasure, just like, this is going to sound awful but as curiosity. I know how horrible and disgusting that sounds which is why I don't understand it. I don't know why I'm thinking this, it feels like half of me does want to and the other is like the old me like of course I don't want to do that. I really hate it, it feels like I'm living in a nightmare..I DON'T WANT TO BE A PAEDOPHILE! :( I know I would never ever carry out these acts but the fact that it feels like a want/urge is scaring the hell out of me.
Anyway, thank you for your advice, I'm going to book an appointment with my GP and see if he will refer me to a psychiatrist because I hate my life at the moment and don't know how much more I can take.
Hi there, here is my story. I was as ordinary a lad you could imagine, no bad thoughts or feelings etc when I one day ( at a stressful time in my life) began getting intrusive horrible thoughts about my own niece, they caused a huge amount of anxiety and they came one after another. Literally anything and everything sexual, violent was shown to me as images in my head. I occasionally got words being put into my head also and it drove me into horrible anxiety and depression. The guilt was horrific, I did come out and tell my girlfriend who was incredibly supportive and didnt panic which I was so relieved about. Anyway after a while the anxiety had faded and so did the images, I dealt with them by telling myself they weren't my fault. However I then noticed I was beginning to feel sensitive around younger girls and felt as though an attraction had been born.. Which I hated, this drove me to avoiding literally every young or little girl I saw. This went on for ages and I could hardly do anything without needed to turn away or avoid every young girl in sight. One day I realised I needed to face it so although it made me anxious i started to try to just look wherever my eyes took me. After a while it was much better, then came really weird things such as if I was looking at a child I couldn't have any parts of my body in contact with my private parts, I would quickly move my arms hands or legs so that I wouldn't be 'doing something wrong' each time a child was on tv or sometimes even just their voice on the radio. And if I hadn't moved them I would then beat myself up for long periods of time until I had fixed it in my head and felt better. Please anyone if you any experiences do reply as it really would be appreciated. I have an appointment with the dr and I'm going to take it from there with getting help something I should of done a long time ago.