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20888815 tn?1571270159

Anxiety and Can't stop fearing the worst

Hello, I was told to post here about my anxiety. I can't stop worrying no matter what, and its affecting my physical health. A few days ago I thought I was pregnant because I sat on my boyfriends lap and he touched me down there with his finger, but I still can't stop fearing the worst. I always ask myself, what if he had something on his finger that I don't know about? I can't take tests because I don't want to disappoint my mom. I even talked to her about it but she just got annoyed with me and her trust with me decreased because she now doesn't believe a word I say even when I'm telling the truth. I'm not sure what to do. I've been experiencing symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, upset stomach (and or cramps), headaches, weakness, hot flashes. I could just be sick considering I have a bad cough with it and a bit of a stuffy nose, yet I can't stop being scared. I currently take medication for my anxiety, half a pill because a full pill seemed to make me sick. Half the time I feel like i'm just taking tic tacs when taking them.  I've talked with my doctor and she suggested a therapist. Now, I would LOVE to see one, but my family doesn't want me to, saying I should just talk to them, But they really dont understand why I cant no matter what I tell them, they dont even believe me half the time and get annoyed when I try and talk to them. I would love if someone could help me get rid of this fear, it would be one off the list. Thank you!
2 Responses
Avatar universal
You don't say how old you are, but I'm assuming you're pretty young.  A few questions:  how long have you been feeling this way (the anxiety)?  Is it recent or have you felt like this for a long time.  How old are you, because it does matter -- it tells us how much your hormones are raging, what you're going through, etc.  Some ages are just hard and then it gets easier before it gets harder again etc.  Life changes.  I do think that before you start engaging in sexual activity, like anything else you do you should learn how it works.  If you truly believe you can get pregnant that way, learn how it actually happens (it's not that way).  If you're using this as an example of just how irrationally fearful you've become despite knowing full well you can't get pregnant that way, then that's an anxiety problem.  Pills are not a great idea for young people, though sometimes they are necessary.  By the way, if you take any medication and it makes you ill, there are usually others to try that might not do that.  But be careful -- if you're taking these drugs regularly, they can't just be stopped, you have to taper off of them, so do know that.  But the advice you got to see a therapist, given what you've said here, is the right way to go.  It is hard sometimes to talk to parents about certain things, especially sexual things.  As to them not believing you, maybe you're exaggerating or misunderstanding.  Most young people think their parents aren't listening to them.  Often, it's true, just as it's true you probably don't listen to them much of the time, either.  That's how families work, and if you're a teenager, well, the teenage years get really weird between parents and kids quite often.  If you're really that scared that often and it has been happening for a long period of time, a therapist is a very good idea.  And if you sit your parents down and really explain it to them, you might be surprised -- they might just not be understanding how much this is growing in you.  If your parents truly don't want to engage in this with you, that's harder, and you have to find other resources, such as asking counselors at school or talking to your primary care physician about where to go for help in your community.  But start with your folks, be nice about it, and be earnest with them.  Be patient.  
3 Comments
Im 16 years old and ive been having anxiety since I was 12. Ive learned about sexual education but I was parnoid with symptoms i've been feeling. Im still a virgin but the symptoms struck fear in me for some strange reason. I have sat with my mom about my anxiety but she gets annoyed with me due to how panicked i get. My dad is always working and my family refuses to bring me to a therapist and I dont have counselors at my school so its very difficult. I can only calm my fears on Medhelp, because people understand and get what is happening (they also know a lot more than me) Im still paranoid of my symptoms at times, and I've been slowly easing myself off my medication. I'm not interested in sexual activity but my boyfriend wanted to see what it felt like down there. Ever since then ive been paranoid, even if it was just his finger. But I am 16 years old and in high school.
Here's the thing.  At 16, a female is kind of an adult and kind of a kid.  In between.  I'm a male, and a 16 year old male at least in my opinion is still a kid, but not so a girl.  The two sexes seem to age differently all through life's stages, which is inconvenient but it is what it is.  It's a great age to be, it's fun, but because it's an in-between age, it also can be hard, and I think, harder for a girl to negotiate than a boy because, again, a boy that age is still thinking mostly like a kid and a girl isn't.  You have to take control of your body, for example, because you are at an age when you do probably want to explore things, boys are putting pressure on you, and you also want to control the pace of your exploration.  So there's that.  But the other piece.  If your Dad works a lot, find him when he isn't working.  Also, it might not be your Mom is annoyed with you, she might be frustrated that she hasn't found a way to help you.  Your parents might not agree on what's appropriate.  I'd find a time, an appointment if you will, with both your Dad and your Mom, sit them down, and explain to them what you've explained to us.  It's worth a try.  Get their attention.  If that doesn't work, tell them to look at this forum for themselves and see all the people through all the years of this forum who have had problems and trouble getting others around them to take them seriously.  It can't hurt.  You're smart enough to know right now you need someone to talk to about this so you can get a handle on it; it's your parents' job to be just as smart.  Show them this, and other answers I know you'll get.  
I'll do my best, thank you.
973741 tn?1342346373
Maybe you know my son.  Ha.  He has this same issue every single day.  Not the fear of pregnancy thing but the constant worry and fear that something terrible is going to happen.  He envisions everything as a catastrophe that has either happened or is about to happen.  Simple things that most people let roll off their back, he just can't. I'll get a text saying "this is so horrible. I'm terrible. I won't get into college.  On and on. And I'll ask what happened and he'll respond he missed a point on a Spanish quiz.  It has to be exhausting for him. As I'm sure this is for you. So, I really feel for you.  

I know with family that isn't supportive of therapy, it's hard. However, there are resources that you could try on your own. First, you are in high school.  You have a counselor.  They should have materials for you to borrow on the subject. They may have therapists affiliated with your school.  Our high school does.  And they talk to kids when directed to do so by the counselor.  This is a hard age that you are at. You aren't alone with the issues of anxiety.  And sometimes, having a counselor talk to your parents about what they see with you (IE; anxiety) can bridge the way to their acceptance.  I do think Paxiled also makes a good point. As a mom myself, when I feel helpless when my son tells me something that upsets me FOR him, I can have a strong reaction.  Because of my helplessness and fear deep inside. Sometimes what I portray isn't in line with the real cause of my reaction which is worry.  Anyway, talking to your counselor may net some help.  Second, they have work books for teens on anxiety. They are nicely written and easy to work with and full of strategies. Amazon or ebay has them with a price tag of about 10 to 14 dollars. Your local library probably  has some books as well.  Third, talk about it with people (us, here?). You're not alone.  
1 Comments
Our school has guidance counselors, and i've talked to them a few times. They hardly listen to me, and just say "Mhm, mhm" over and over. They don't look me in the eye and so I gave up on talking to them. I will look in the work books, thank you. Talking with people on here makes me feel a bit better.
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