I'm Alex, in my late thirties. Beside some worries about school performance, about other's perception of me, about this and that, i was always ok to good, and balanced, psychologically speaking.
Nonetheless, some anxiety about the future started to pile up, as my parents grew older, my mom retired, many of my younger cousins started to have families while i was single. But the tippoint point was two years ago, when i took my first real job in the corporate world, and in a new industry, in a new city where i didn't want to live. I had a panic attack in the plane when i went for my interview. One month before my expatriation, i started to have extrasystoles, did exams, doc didn't see anything, and it went away after a few days. And during those two years, i had several physical manifestations of anxiety, and/or anxiety being created by physical problems: sore throat for 6 months, some kind of reflux, heartburn, etc. And every 6 months, a panick attack. Always the same routine, i go to E.R., do blood checks & all, nothing to report.
Now i came back to my home country, but still away from my family. Intense job. Lockdown, a bit alone. And in a downward spiral, my mind is focusing on some kind of heartburn/GERD that is becoming permanent, and every symptoms increase the anxiety, the fear boost the symptoms and prevent me to go see a doctor as i'm afraid of invasive exams.
Every night, even if i elevate my head, i feel a discomfort, a weight in my chest/belly, even if i do stretching, yoga, eat well... and the mind is focusing on it, and have difficulties letting go, to sleep, afraid that this problem is something bad, that i won't wake up.
In other words, this situation starts to be super annoying and a hindrance, preventing me to take the plane now, or the boat, or any situation that would make me self-aware of being stranded from civilization, from a doctor, etc.
Your concrete advice would be much appreciated, thanks!