Anxiety for no reason!

[Libra88]

So 2018 marks 10 years of suffering from anxiety. As it happens, some days have been good, some bad and some ugly!

But the thing is, there were no factors that could’ve contributed to my anxiety! People generally suffer from this stuff because of some pain, suffering or loss etc. thankfully I had nothing. Supportive family, friends, no financial problems etc. Now here iam, approaching 30 and feel I’ve wasted my 20s. Just recently started medication and counseling. The only reason was that my career choice didn’t go according to plan. Wanted a career that I didn’t get and I was pretty sad about it for quite a while.

But still, can’t figure out the trigger!

[mammo]

I think maybe learning better coping skills would help you.  Today people seem to have more anxiety than ever before,  so we must learn how to deal with it.  I can understand you being sad over a career plan not going right but it should be more disappointment than sadness.  Life is always throwing curve balls at us and it's how we deal with them that matters, and this may just send you in a better direction.  You have so much more than many people do so I would concentrate on what is "right" in your life instead of what isn't.  We often have no clue as to why we are having such bad anxiety and therapy can help recall something that happened a long time ago that you thought had been neatly tucked away.  But when this is the case it will rear its ugly head at some point and it can be in the form of anxiety and/or depression.  But it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself when it comes to your career and that may well be the culprit.  It's great to be ambitious but if it's gotten to the point of creating severe anxiety then you need to take a close look at the whole picture.  Look at your good days and try to see what was different that you had no anxiety.  You may have deadlines or quotas to make and that can cause a lot of anxiety.  Are you mostly anxious at work?  A road block was put in the way of your career, we don't just stop but find another way or career.  I hope this helps and wish you all the best.

[Libra88]

Hey thanks for the reply!

I kind of got in my own way when it came to treating my condition. After suffering for so many years, I’ve only started treatment this year. Just started taking medication (lexapro). I kept thinking that going to psychiatrists and all is only for extremely depressed people who are on the verge of suicide! I didn’t really involve my family. Still haven’t actually. But looking back, I should’ve gone for treatment early. I kept treating my stomach problems but every time the tests came normal. It was the anxiety that was wreaking havoc. I didn’t want to travel or go anywhere out of my comfort zone because I felt I would freak out. It also ended up affecting my studies to quite an extent.

But I have my fingers crossed now. I’m on medication. Need to consult someone for a bit more counseling and hopefully it’ll get better.

[Paxiled]

Don't let the medication be the end of the story -- you do want to not have to take it at some point.  You might want to look into a form of therapy called CBT, as it sounds like you have a bit of agoraphobia.  Because you are mostly okay to do things therapy has a good chance of helping, but you want to get it from psychologists who specialize in treating anxiety.  Truly, you can easily spend years and years in therapy and you might learn a lot about yourself and others but still have all the same problems because you still think the same way -- those who get past it learn to think differently.  They change their lifestyle, trying to be more accepting of life, learn meditation, exercise, eat well -- the usual suspects.  Now, my anxiety destroyed my career but it was a lot more severe than yours is, which is good for you.  But I did move on to other things I also liked, though they didn't pay much, and that contributed a lot more to the world probably than if I had been able to do what I trained to do.  Not way to know, of course.  But there are lots of examples of careers gone awry that led to much better things.  Pro athletes who go hurt and became actors and lawyers and activists.  Look at the very famous (though very dead) Steve Jobs.  Remember, he failed at Apple -- they forced him out of his own company because he had wrecked it -- but he went out and did some other great things and then came back to Apple and built the wealthiest company in the history of companies.  You don't want to be like Steve Jobs -- he was a horrible person -- but it's just to say, career setbacks can cause us to reevaluate and come back better, wiser, and stronger.  Just depends.  You never know with life.  Abraham Lincoln was a failed merchant when he became a lawyer and, well, he did pretty well after than, yes?  

[SkaterDave]

After 10 years of being afraid to take meds for my fairly severe GAD, I started Celexa in 2012 it changed everything and within a week I was the old Dave again. After 5 years of slowly increasing dosage, I quit. Slowly, over the year, I got a little worse and a little worse until a quadruple whammy of events triggered full blown anxiety again. I'm currently 6 weeks into a pediatric dose of lexapro, and I feel awesome again. I'm sleeping incredibly well, too, which is unprecedented. Yoga and meditation help immensely, as well. Just thought I'd share. Cheers!

[specialmom]

It can be an organic thing with no triggers or causes at all.  We all do have bad, good, and ugly (worst of worst) days.  That's human.  It's a disorder when the bad days are far outnumbering the good and we aren't coping very well.  Then there is help out there.  Where are you at in that regard?  Are you at the point of needing help for this?

[Libra88]

In the beginning the bad days were outnumbering the good ones. And I kept going to the wrong doctors. Got my heart checked out because of the fast heart rate. Things like techycardia were ruled out. I’ve spent so much money on gastro docs but everything came out normal. That was frustrating. But eventually the daily life got better but still I would feel anxiety before doing anything new or stepping out of my comfort zone. Traveling was a big no no. During exams at uni I felt nervous too. That’s what bothers me. Like I mentioned, I had no ‘external factors’ affecting me. Supportive family despite my career mess up, good friends, financial stability. Yet I couldn’t get out of my shell. Kept feeling scared to actually LIVE. Family could’ve been more supportive during the mental health problems but there again I got in my own way. Never fully confided in them. Kept thinking that mental health issues are embarrassing to share.

But now I’ve started treatment. I still think my anxiety isn’t as bad as some others I’ve seen. Fortunately I don’t have suicidal thoughts or anything. But enough for me to get help professionally because I can’t spend my life like this!

[Paxiled]

Actually, most sufferers of chronic anxiety and depression don't have any cause they can point to.  Also realize, you can take a million people, expose them to the same situation, and you'll get a million different reactions.  We're all snowflakes.  Now, sometimes there is something back there you've repressed or just don't really remember that you can find if you do ten years of therapy, but truly, most of us don't really have something that caused it.  A career choice not going according to plan -- whose does?  Sadness isn't a mental illness, it's just a reaction to bad things happening that goes away.  Sometimes a career choice going bad turns into a better choice.  That's just life, not illness.  If those kinds of things trigger something so severe as to be diagnosed as chronic anxiety or depression it was because it was already there.  

[Libra88]

Hey thanks for the reply.

The doctor I’m getting treatment for did ask me similar questions. Whether something in my childhood or adult life happen that might be subconsciously affecting my mental health. But I couldn’t remember much. I did lose a younger sister when I was 10. But at that age I didn’t feel the hit of losing someone because I was so young! I don’t see that as a factor. I have always been a shy and introverted person. Was always like that. Maybe that’s what’s causing all this in adulthood. But hard to say. Iam on medication and have started feeling better but need to do more to actually start stepping out of my comfort zone I believe!