Anxiety is ruining my life

[Meema98]

I’ve had horrible anxiety for the last 20-25 years.  I never knew anxiety could manifest itself in so many ways.  It’s literally debilitating & life altering.  My struggle with it has hit an all time high.  I suffer mostly from health anxiety.  I am ALWAYS afraid something is wrong with me.  I have been suffering from heart palpitations for the past year.  I’ve been to a cardiologist & recently wore a 30 day event monitor.  I haven’t been back for my follow up yet to get the results.  I go in 2 weeks.  Since I stopped the monitor I have started having these crazy episodes of feeling like my heart is dropping into my stomach.  It feels like when something scares you or you get really bad news & your heart drops.  It’s the most unsettling feeling.  I also feel extremely tired & my legs feel heavy when I am having these spells.  I stay on the verge of tears not knowing if something is wrong with me or if it’s another symptom of anxiety.  The past couple of days I have also noticed my HR is in the 50s.  It was 53 one time I checked it & 56 another time.  I am a nurse so I am aware 60-100 is a normal range & that I am not far from that.  But, my resting HR has always been somewhere in the mid to upper 60s if not into the 70s.  So I am a little concerned.  Can anxiety cause your HR to drop?!!  Sometimes I feel as though my vagus nerve is irritated by something & keeps my body in a constant state of fight or flight.  
Has anyone else felt this way??!??  I am miserable!!!  

[Paxiled]

If you're a nurse then you have seen lots of patients who are sick.  And a lot of patients who just think they are.  You've probably seen it all.  Can you apply that to your own life?  I know that's really hard to do, but if you had a patient who over-focused this much on such things you'd probably counsel them to relax and stop doing that.  Right?  Now the big question is, what are you doing to treat your anxiety?  Seeing a therapist who specializes in anxiety treatment?  Learning relaxation techniques?  Exercising, meditating?  If it's beyond help, considered medication. (you're a nurse, so you already know medication should only be used if necessary -- you've seen what happens when docs go nuts with them -- but if your life is soaring out of control it's something to consider).  So again, doing anything to deal with this?  As for a slow heart, I've got that as well despite my raging anxiety for more years than you've had it.  Sometimes that's a sign of an athlete, as I was always very active, and of someone who meditates, as I have done for years.  Sometimes it's a sign your heart is incredibly healthy as it doesn't need to work as hard as someone else's heart dose.  Sometimes it's a problem.  Until it manifests as a problem, though, docs can't really do anything about it -- they're not going to install a pacemaker without a really really good reason to do so.  I've been through this when I had to get an EKG as prep for a surgery, and my doctor basically told me all the things I've just told you -- could be a great thing, could be a bad thing, but no way to know until a bad thing happens and that may be never.  One of the things about anxiety sufferers is many many more believe they have heart problems and very few actually do and if they do get them it's pretty impossible to tell if it's from anxiety or from their diets or all the other things anxiety sufferers tend to do that's not good for them.  Because most people who live long lives die of heart disease -- our definition of death is when the heart stops beating -- trying to predict now what will happen with the heart later is just asking for trouble.  So after your exam is complete, if there's not problem found, I hope you move on to focus on the problem you know you have, which is anxiety.

[Meema98]

Thanks for the input.  Yes, being a nurse I have seen what medication can do to the body when taken long term & that terrifies me even more.  I took Citalopram (generic for Celexa) for 9-10 years.  I weaned myself off of it a little over a year ago.  I also took Omemprazole for 5-6 years in combo with the Citalopram.  I have since learned that those 2 combined could mean bad news to the heart so that has caused me to stop the Omemprazole, too.  I have started drinking Aloe Vera juice for my GERD & it has helped.  I am a new nurse (just finished nursing school last year) so I put on quite a bit of weight during my studies.  60 lbs to be exact.  I used to be a very active & fit person who ate healthy & spent 5 days a week in the gym.  Since I finished school I have tried getting back into exercise & I have lost 20 lbs but am still considered overweight being that I am 5’4 & weigh 170 lbs.  It seems every time I get consistent with exercise, I have these spells & it scares me out of exercising!  I’m terrified my heart is going to go into a funky rhythm induced by the exercise.  It feels as though I am fighting a losing battle.  I have not seen a therapist but I have read a lot about CBT & have wondered if it’s something I should try.  I feel crazy!!!