Hey,
I remember being your age and I also hung out with the crowd that was into drugs. Doing drugs with my friends made me feel cool. But looking back, I am 29 now, I am proud of all the times that I chose not to do drugs, but rather, played sports and stayed clean. Now that I am 29, looking back, i don't think drugs are cool, and I don't thing the kids who do drugs are cool either. And I also liked doing drugs, especially smoking pot and drinking. I would smoke on my own. But it's a bad habit. like I say, looking back, I am not fond of doing drugs at all. And they were bad for my mental and physical health. Actually, I am against drugs now, because I think they are harmful, and I regret doing them even. But you are still young and healthy and it's good that you are athletic. My advice for you is to stop doing drugs all together. I'm sure that you feel ready too since they are causing you this bad anxiety. I actually quit doing drugs at times, even when I was 16, and I told my frinds that I don't do drugs. And to avoid it I would have a ciggerette. I didn't smoke many ciggeretts, but it made me just a s cool and allowed me to excuse myself from a situation where people would be smoking. And I was able to say straight up that, I don't do drugs anymore, or, I quit smoking. Instead of hanging out with friends and doing drugs, hang out with people wanting to do sports like basketball. I did and it was more fun anyway. And I played recreational hockey in the winter which was really fun and healthy. We don't think about our health much as a kid, but when we are older we take great appreciation and pride in how we were responsible and took care of ourself. Actually, being able to say that you are straightedge is cooler than doing drugs! I know this may sound clechay but I think it was cool to say I was straight when I was a teen, and it gave me a sense of pride. Anyway hope this helps and I'm glad to talk if you want. Ash
Pot can really really increase anxiety in certain people. Maybe that experience with the mushrooms made you get anxiety when you smoke now or something...a lot of people have anxiety, just dont realize it until suddenly it starts giving you physical symptoms. Id lay off the smoking...I know it *****...but maybe if you stop smoking a while you can see if you still have anxiety.
I know sooo well the feeling of just wanting to hang out and do whatever...but theres more people than you think who have anxiety and just this community can help a lot.
Personally...I cant drink cause that gives me anxiety. So i still go to parties, i just avoid the drinking and i usually smoke. Maybe its the opposite for you. If your not happy just being straightedge, then figure out what works for you. Good luck!