Body image issues maybe body disphormia

[s949]

I have been clean for 7 months now from opiates and heroin! With that being said I have gained over 40lbs since getting sober. Partly due to meds and getting sober. Losing weight now but slowly. I have had body image issues ever since I can remember. I was 165 and I am 6ft 2in and at that weight I still thought I had pockets of fat or thought I could b skinnier. I am now 230 but have gained a lot of muscle like a lot and my waist has gotten smaller so the fat is being replaced by muscle. Anyways I was at the gym and have seen this girl there many times before who is very attractive. I don't state cuz I thinks it's disrespectful but she wears just booty shorts and a sports bra so she knows she is attractive and obviously likes to show it off. Out of my peripheral vision I noticed her looking at me several times. She had a tank top on and started working out close to me and took her tank off so she was just in her sports bra. She knows guys are looking which is kinda annoying I don't like girls like that but anyways I went to my locker and got my water out, turned around and she was on a machine close by and I caught her looking at me. In the past when girls have shown attraction towards me I feel scared and awkward like why r they interested in me? My therapist said that happens to guys with body image issues so when I caught her looking at me I felt kinda weird but confident at the same time, weird. I then went on the bike and she walked by several times doing one machine then another not doing the usual sets. I am not the one to boast or brag honestly I am a very humble guy but I think she was trying to get my attention as I have seen her several times at the gym and catch her looking sometimes. I don't know if she is doing this to all the guys cuz she obviously wants the attention but I feel she purposely workout on machines close to me. This makes me feel uncomfortable because once again when a girl shows body language like looking at me or taking off an article of clothing while working on the machine next to me I get a scared feeling due to my body image issues which according to my therapist is common among men with image issues. What got me tonight was when I turned around and she was starring like we made eye contact then she went back to working out cuz she caught me catching her looking at me. What does everyone think? Are my body image issue body disphormia and I think I look less attractive than I really am. I saw pictures of myself in high school the other night and I even thought I looked skinny but I never had a girlfriend in high school because of my body issues even though I had several times where girls made passes at me and I would get scared and then avoid them not because they were unattractive but it made me feel uncomfortable because I would think "if we had sex and she saw me naked I would b embarrassed". Girls have told me I am attractive and when intoxicated have told me "your ******* hot" but I dismiss it. Going back to the girl at the gym, what do people think? I have not embellished anything because **** I don't know anyone who will respond so it needs no embellishment? How should I treat my body disphormia issues? If someone provides an email I will send u a photo but if that happens I want complete honesty not 'just to be nice' responses. If I look fat say so.

[kickanxietysbutt]

Being 6'2" and 165 pounds is on the thin side.  6'2" and 230 pounds, especially if you have a lot of muscle mass, seems healthier to me.  And regardless of whether you think you are overweight, I would much rather be with someone who has a little "extra meat" than someone who is skinny.  Personally, I would also rather be with someone who does have flaws with their body.  Women are far more self-conscious about their bodies than most men are, so if the guy we are with also has some imperfections, it makes us feel more secure.  I'm 30 years old and when I was 25 I thought I was so fat.  I look back at pictures now and realize I had a great body and that my thinking was incredibly skewed.  We are always our own worst critics.  If this girl is following you around at the gym and staring at you, she obviously likes what she sees, so I think you have absolutely no reason to feel insecure.  And if a girl doesn't want to be with you because of your body, chances are she's not a girl you want to be with for the duration anyway, as she's going to be high maintenance in other areas of life and a girl like that will never be satisfied, no matter who she is with.

[remar]

Good for you! Quitting the drugs is so huge and something you should be very proud of.
Yes, muscle weighs more than fat. You've been working out so that's why you're gaining weight.
None of us can give you a definite diagnosis, only a Dr can do that. We're here to listen and help if we can though.