Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Can HOCD(Homophobia) lead you to thinking your gay?

Ive had this problem of overthinking and saying what if to my self about being gay. I have a girlfriend who I've been with four 7 yrs. We still havnt had sex. I asked her a few years ago whats wrong she said she didnt know or she was scared. I was completely fine with that. It wasnt till after a couple years passed off trying that I started to worry. I ask her whats wrong and she just says she doesn't kno. So I started to think I was doing something wrong or not doing something right. That's when I began to question myself. I would think about a guy to see if I liked it and I am like no way. Like I don't want to be gay at all. I even looked at gay porn and not 5 seconds and I was disgusted and turned it off thinking theres no way. I feel like I'm scaring myself into believing it. And I feel that the sex has part to do with it because I've been led on for so long. I used to be the "flirt" in school. All the girls liked me and I enjoyed that and want cocky about it either. I played football and got along with everyone and never thought about being gay. Though when I was younger I kinda did do same sex but I was like 12. I need to know if this is denial or HOCD. Like I said I don't want to be but when I say im not my mind will say yea you are  But I feel like I'm scaring myself cause I know I don't want to be. Also its taking effect on my relationship with my girl and my family. Like I'll think that they think am gay or that I sound funny and things like that. Ill worry myself that people are talking about me saying that am gay. I need some good advice or if there's someone going through the same thing please give me feed back asap. thanks
7 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
480448 tn?1426948538
I would recommend posting in the OCD forum.  Not that you have OCD, but because this exact topic comes up there a LOT.  The community leader of that community is amazing.  Even if you just search that forum, you'll find several related discussions.

This is actually a fairly common fear in people with anxiety issues, and/or OCD.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-OCD-/show/231
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I believe your not gay. When we are kuds we do stupid things. And i mean some kids grow up confused becsuse they been sexually abused by other men. N they need help.. But maybe u need to figure it out n get help.. But i dont see nothing wrong with being gay.. Just saying..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yea thats what I think but I guess since ive been thinking it for so long and look back on my past of things that I did with other kids makes me believe it even more. but like I said ive been with her for 7 years and you know I was a kid and all I wanted to do was have sex with her from the begining. And I guess since shes led me on and I tell myself maybe next time, nothing. maybe this time,nothing for so long that I'm believing that I am. Like I told my mom yesterday and it felt better but then I start thinking what if I did that to myself after all these years of trying and thinking. like I started to listen to what people were saying and like I started to think that the devil making this happen to me. idk but then when I say ok I am it kinda goes away but then questi myself again. I think am gona talk to a phychiatrist to help me out
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think u putting things in your head, and the none having sex with ur girlfriend is bringing you a low self esteem Thinking something is wrong.. Theirs nothing wrong trying to find answers i mean all u causing is that u confusing your self thinking your gay because u dont have any sexual contact with ur partner, ofcourse is not normal after so many years? I think theirs something wrong with her.. Your not the problem is her. So ur not gay..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
There are so many things worse you could be than gay! There is no 1 test that says you are or aren't. Maybe you like both. It sounds like 7 years with the same GF and NO sex...is what you might figure out first. It's not wrong, just you don't say anything about either of you WANTING to abstain for any reasons. Many men get married, have kids, and then find they are not happy and are gay. YOU are the only one who can answer the question and really there is no time limit on the answer.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
im a male I ment to put that. and yea I heard can be like any other phobia.thanks
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Homophobia now is a disease?  God, what isn't a disease these days.  What I find most interesting is on your profile you say you're a female.  Assuming you're really a male, seven years without sex in this day and age with no religious reasons for it?  My guess is, if you were gay you'd know it, but people are different and have different levels of sex interest.  But if you want it and she doesn't, I see this as more a relationship issue than a sexual preference issue.  Only you truly know the answer.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community

Top Anxiety Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?