Can this all really be anxiety!?

[Chellybean18]

So to start in March of 2014 after some extreme stress I became dizzy and derealized/depersonalized. Was told at the ER it was an inner ear infection. Which I had no ear symptoms...Fast forward to August this year. I never completely lost the derealized/depersonalized feelings but they got to the point I wasn't anxious and I was able to live my life. Fast forward until August of 2018.My bf and I got into a bad argument where I thought he was gonna break up with me...i panicked the next day all day. First real panic I had in the last 3 ish years...we then made up the next day and everything was fine...the next week I started getting headaches extra head pressure feeling extremely drunk and off balanced...i wake up with fear and horrible thoughts everyday I feel like im losing my mind most days...ill list all the symptoms out and tell me if this really could all be just anxiety. Also ive been to the doctors ct scan was clear, and blood tests have been perfect.
Symptoms:
-head pressure/off balance
-feeling of fear all day/faint feelings
-derealization/depersonalization...everything looks fake I feel spaced out and not real...my body doesnt look like it belongs to me.
-weak jelly legs...heavy feeling body.
-gagging and nauseous (havent actually thrown up)
-cant feel joy or happiness only worry and fear.
-feels like im dying every minute of everyday.
Idk what to do...what steps should I take or what could help me!? I just wanna feel real again...sorry for long post..

[Paxiled]

I'm going to disagree with Mom on something we almost always disagree on.  I would recommend therapy with a psychologist given your situation, not a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists virtually never do therapy anymore and even when they do they charge more and see you for less time than a psychologist.  All they're going to do is recommend you take medication, but your life doesn't seem so far out of whack that you can't do what you need and want to do at this point so I don't think you need medication.  Medication is difficult, and it shouldn't be a first resort unless you're just really having a terrible time.  I also think that in your case, you know exactly what triggered it this time.  I'm not sure if this is anxiety or anxiety caused by depression or just an insecurity you have that eventually you will benefit by fixing.  Those of us who get so attached to others that any threat to the relationship sends us into a tailspin, and that was my problem, need to fix that.  Drugs don't do that.  They might make you feel better, but you'll still have the problem.  If you can fix the problem, it stays fixed.  If you can't, then that psychiatrist will still be there, there's no danger of psychiatrists disappearing any time soon.  That's my two cents worth, anyway.  I agree, you probably didn't have an ear infection, and even if you did they just go away on their own.  But you might have some sort of inner ear imbalance that rises up occasionally, that could cause dizziness, but not derealization.  Whatever you choose to do, I hope it works, and I hope you do learn not to let others define your life quite so much -- you're young and most likely no relationship right now is going to last a lifetime.  It might, but most likely it won't.  All the best.

[Paxiled]

Wait, I confused this post with a different one.  You're not that young.  Just was reading a post by a teenager and got you confused.  Disregard that part!  My bad.

[Chellybean18]

Lol Thanks. Yeah im almost 30 now this relationship better be an almost last stop ha. But thanks for the advice. I am doing an online CBT course soon as well to help deal. :)

[Paxiled]

Hey, never give up -- I didn't get married until I was over 50.  You never know.

[specialmom]

Ah, I'm really sorry sweetie.  I do think this sounds like anxiety.  The thing about anxiety is that it is not the same for everyone.  So, I, of course, couldn't say for sure but you have an appointment to visit a psychiatrist and I think that is a great idea. By the way, depending on who you are seeing, many psychiatrists DO have training in women's hormonal issues.  There are psychiatrists in my city that this is their sole specialty.  So, your desire to see a psychiatrist is a good one based on how you are currently feeling.  It doesn't have to be that way.  

How are things with the boyfriend?  Sometimes we can be so dependent that it creates a bit of desperation.  I hope that isn't the case.  Our partners are important and interdependence is a good goal with them to keep things balanced.  

What other things can you do until your appointment to go over symptoms?  Can you do some relaxation exercises, yoga, exercise which is a mood lifter, meditation, breathing exercises?  All of that can help in times of anxiety.  

[Chellybean18]

Thank you so much for your answer! I am trying to do meditation and things like that until my appt. Im really glad to know that my decision to see a psychiatrist is a good idea...i found it hard to admit that I really have a mental problem...haha. My bf and I made up the next day and things have been fine since...the fight just scared me. It reminded me of my mom and stepdads fights when I was younger and really messed me up.. But I reallt hope I can get help soon...when I go to stores and stuff it feels like I will faint...everything is so overwhelming to me..ive never had anxiety this bad before!

[specialmom]

I think you sound like a smart lady who knows it's time to take action.  Not every psychiatrist is the same so this is a situation in which you be the judge when you see them.  In my area, psychiatrists also do talk therapy with their patients but some would have you believe they only dole out medication.  Sometimes medication is part of recovery and sometimes it isn't.  Not sure the route you will end up taking and that isn't really anyone here can determine for you.  So, seeing a doctor would make sense to me.  

I feel you on being afraid of repeated patterns in relationships that you witnessed.  That really does happen! Every relationship is going to have difficulties and moments of contention.  Learning how to handle them without a blow up or in a way that doesn't set off your inner warning voice is important.  Sometimes a couples counselor can help!  Even our church offers programs for couples to learn how to coexist without killing each other.  ha ha.  But really, check your options and see if there isn't something that both you and your boyfriend would participate in.  Even healthy couples and relationships can use some fine tuning.  

You are having reactions that sound very much related to anxiety and panic to me such as feeling faint in crowded places.  Please discuss that at our appointment. Let us know how you are doing and how things go!  hugs

[specialmom]

what I mean, to clarify, is you be the judge about your comfort level with the psychiatrist and their recommendations for you when you see them.