So lately I can't help myself anymore.. I normally have everything it takes to control how I feel and what emotions i show... But i have been having these serious thoughts about useless things, important things.. past, present, future, Family, friends, school, and work all at once. It's like my mind is not strong enough to deal with these anymore. They are too fast to process and understand. then they get too slow annoying and distracting. After i managed to get some distance and time to control it, the whole room spins rapidly. I space out for a couple of minutes then everything comes back and i can't remember things that happened through out the day. My mother notices it, I see her watching me sometimes but then i just resurface like nothing happens and try to go about my normal self. Which is always being on point, strict with everything, and always laughing and talking a bunch of nonsense that makes the whole family upbeat and happy. My mother is trying to help me but we don't know what it is, we have some ideas but could never be to sure. I love myself, this isn't about suicide.. this is about suffering with myself and i don't even know what's causing it.