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Depression - Anxiety: Any opinion or advice would be very helpful

Hello,

To start with, I am a 24 years old guy, and this is my story.
4 years ago, i was in a relationship with a girl that i loved so much, she was everything for me, it was the first and only time i was with someone for almost 2 years.
  Things went bad, she ****** up a lot, and broke my heart. After a while from breaking up with me, she already was with another guy. Well, i didnt have any serious relationship with anyone, after her. Not that i didn't want, but i couldn't feel it. Anyways.

I started smoking weed everyday all day, I started hanging out with these "friends" that were nothing but smoking buddies. Smoking everyday and hanging out with these people was my way of dealing with a broken heart i guess.
Gradually things got more serious, and i was introduced to other drugs, and i was interested and i tried them.
During this 2 years, i eventually did a total of 4 LSD trips, 13 mushrooms trip, 1 Salvia, and 5 MDMA trips.
Although i always knew that im not going to keep up like this, i knew it was just for fun and not addiction.
    All my trips were good trips, only the last acid trip was really bad. I was surrounded with people i was uncomfortable with. Which started a sort of anxiety in me.
After that, more frequently i started having panic attacks, and over thinking, but never showed it. I am a quit person, and i keep everything to myself. I was quit from the outside, but a mess inside my head.

After all, i wanted to get away from all these people, and lifestyle, but i didn't have any other friends i could hang out with. And i would see my ex everyday, since we are in the same university.
I decided to change my university, and i changed my country, i left my family, my home, few friends that i had, and moved to another country to continue my studies there, and start my life over again, with no bad influences.

Now that im here for almost a year, I finally managed to quit smoking weed, since the other drugs i told to myself to never do them again. But weed was the hardest to quit, since i used it on a daily basis.
So im clean now for almost 2 months, and i have this anxiety and over thinking from time to time. I don't have any real friends i can spend time with, and still have a difficulty in expressing myself, and concentrating on a normal things, such as a conversation with a random person i meet at the bar, I can't keep up with a conversation.

I don't know if im ever going to get better.

I don't know what to say more, im sorry for this long message, i hope i was clear.

Any advice, or opinion would me so much motivation for me.

Thank you,
11 Responses
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Avatar universal
I will search for a book with that topic, it seems interesting and helpful for my case.

I also started doing meditation and yoga on a daily basis, and I can already feel the benefits of it:)

Im very thankful for your help
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It seems you are worried about concentration, yet you are functioning in an academically difficult program, so the fears of deficiency may be unwarranted. Perhaps you can find a book on something like the art of conversation to make yourself more comfortable in that setting, and hopefully your current worries will go away or at least be reduced. I once took a non-credit course on it, and found it helpful.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yes! that's my life everyday for 4 years now. its a tough program, and demands a lot of hard work.
sometimes i feel like giving up, letting it loose, but then i have no other choice but stay strong and do it.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you are a university architecture student, I presume you had to pass some high academic hurdles to get accepted. True?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Im sorry, no there isn't.
Its a small school of architecture.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks, and you were initially clear, but I just wanted to confirm I had the gist of it. Please answer my question first. " Isn't there free or at least cheap counseling at your university?"
.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Maybe i wasn't so clear.

The problem is that, now that i am sober for 2 months, my anxiety still comes back whenever i am so tired, or bored, or sometimes when i feel lonely.

I also have difficulty expressing myself with words, and usually don't have a good concentration, so that's why i can't keep up with a conversation. i just don't know what to answer, so i stay quite. (i know this has nothing to do with anxiety)

Since i am having all these problems, i usually feel depressed.

My question is, will this anxiety and depression go away?
how can i fight this?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Not sure I understand the problem so I will try to summarize to see what you think.>>>>>>>>>>>You did drugs, but have quit for 2 months. You go to university but have fears that you don't fit in.

It might take a while to mentally get over all the drug abuse - I don't know much about that. Isn't there free counseling at your university. and if so I suggest that is a place to start.
Helpful - 0
11025355 tn?1416995557
its a good distraction  
Helpful - 0
11025355 tn?1416995557
im going through a little anxiety myself right now  
i found chewing gum hoods and playing games help alot
Helpful - 0
11025355 tn?1416995557
how are you now ?
Helpful - 0
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