Yes, I have a similar fear of knives. I'm 47 and this started just a few years ago. But I don't have any past history that would lead to this. I love to cook, but i get a little anxious around knives. I don't know why, but I just acknowledge it and try to get past it.
Thanks for answering my post. It really means a lot to me. I am finding that as the days go by i am getting less and less fearful about the incident that took place. I am not going to let fear control my life. I know what you mean about fear of knives, i do have to work with them so i use them. Yet, i still feel uncomfortable.
It sounds as though you are fighting many demons....from your past especially. Have you ever tried aggressive talk therapy? That would by my advice...long term aggressive psychotherapy, and possibly medications. You need to eventually be able to separate the OBJECT (knife) from the fear reaction...and just be able to see it for what it is, a tool. That way....when the knife is needed in context (ie cooking)...you won't have that fear reaction. It isn't the KNIFE you fear so much as the bad intentions that people have showed with it.
You have been through a lot in your life..be kind to yourself and realize that as a result of a lot of other people's cruelty (your father, the people who sexually abused you, etc)...you have a fight to fight, It isn't YOUR fault and no, you're not crazy. The psyche can only take so much before you end up with significant anxiety/depression.
Best of luck.