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HIV anxiety

i saw the old post from http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Anxiety/HIV-Anxiety/show/1240105 (worriedtodeath104)
do you think my problem and his are the same?
no need to take test? even i took it already at 6 weeks in hospital, after intercourse with CSW (with condom).

my problems is, when i already moved on with it, and then i got the second terror SMS.
when i read it my heart beating so hard, my wife trying to convinced me, you already took test and it was negative so you no need to worried, but i head always plays trick on me.

the first SMS almost ruined our relationship (before i took the test), till now i'm still worried and anxious about HIV.
my mind always say " what if the test was false negative"? because its only 6 weeks test..... etc.

in my mind i  always can see the face of my wife when we received the first SMS, how see disappointed in me.

i always feeling guilty, because she always good to me and i already betrayed her for doing that, i already let her down and let my family down.
in my anxiety i always think if this the GOD vengeance so we will never find the cure.

i also think the (positive thinking) if he/she send to the wrong number and then i'm was so stupid to reply him/her, so she/he send me the second one.

before yesterday i'd go to temple and pray. my feeling better after that and when i came home i sleep almost the whole day and my feeling getting better.
i want to start the new life, the good one, want to make other peoples happy, and wont let them down.
but now the bad mood and anxiety looks like coming back, when i feel little bit uncomfortable with my part of body i always worried about the symptoms and other negative things.
feels my apartment so damned and so many bad spirits in here.

what do you think? what should i do?

thanks for your time and i looking forward for immediate reply.
16 Responses
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Avatar universal
do you have any suggest where i can find the trustworthy psychologist in china?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
sorry nursegirl,

i didn't mean to offense you.
i didn't mean people with anxiety are crazy, what i mean is I'M CRAZY.
please don't get me wrong.
i don't think somebody ever see psychologist around here.

in china they only think about money money and money, they dont care about you situation, maybe in USA you guys have alot of trustworthy psychologist,
but in here i don't think so.

Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
How can I be so sure?  Because I understand HIV, and I know when someone does or doesn't have an HIV concern, and as you've been told MULTIPLE times, you don't.  We cannot keep repeating ourselves over and over.


As for your views on therapists, have you ever seen one?  Your thought process about BOTH HIV and therapy are irrational, and not reasonable.  And btw, people with anxiety aren't "crazy", and quite frankly that's a pretty offensive term to use.

I'm going to bow out now, as there isn't much more I could say or do.  You have to help yourself, no one else can do it for you...and continuous reassurance online isn't "help"....it's just fueling your anxiety.  Good luck to you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
how can you be so sure?

in here i dont think i can trust the psychologist, so many unprofessional and they just think about the money.
the more you crazy, the more money they get.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Are you reading the replies?  

I don't know how else to say it...you don't have HIV.  I have NO idea what's going on with your tongue, but I DO know it has NOTHING to do with HIV!  You're relating everything to HIV because your anxiety is through the roof.  That's why you need to get help.  Continuing to search the internet about HIV, and continuing to talk about HIV isn't the answer.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks thepinkfloyd,

do you have white tongue?
its bothers me. so worried about it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks nursegirl,

how about the white tongue?
i'm so worried about it.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Anxiety/terror/show/2205353#post_10581320

Reread your above linked thread, about the same topic.

There just isn't anything else to add.  Your continuing to repeat the same questions and concerns over and over is actually part of the anxiety cycle.  Excessive reassurance seeking can actually keep you stuck in that "what if" thinking and make anxiety worse.

This is why you need the help of a mental health professional, someone who will offer support, and guide you in learning how to dismiss the what if thoughts.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
We talk and try to find why I am not able to fully trust my resaults.We are in the prossesing now I don't know how is this going to end,we just have had 2 sessions. But he told me that my distrust on the test and my fear and anxiety over something like this...a protected sex is just the top of the mountain and maby I have deeper issues of anxiety and stuff.The bottom line is that if people could get hiv from protected sex we would have been extincted as a spieces.I think that your mind went through a big sock having to fear about such a serious matter like hiv.You will take time to recover and find your strengh back but you will find it.I know exactly what you mean by ''when I am sitting alone and bored the feeling is there''.Its like a feeling of unkown fear and anxiety that isn'te letting you feel safe and unguarded.This is just your mind that is prossesing the outcome of the test.Maby deep down you have believed that you have hiv so that your mind can cope with the idea and know that you are negative you try to prosses the idea.Its not easy letting this go and keep on with your life.I am still trying to do that and i don't know when I am going to be completely free of this.But know this,it doesent matter how many thoughts we make in our heads..they are never going to change our negative status.We are negative just because we used a condom and not because we accepted the fact.What I mean is that...your negative status is there and waiting for you to go and accept it.Its up to you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i don't think i can trust therapist in here.
i think i just need someone to talk to, because when i getting bored or lonely, that feeling always trying to comeback again and again.
yes i read your posts last time, and i think your problem almost the same with me.
actually i never feel wrong with my body, always feeling healthy and stong, but since i got that SMS, suddenly my world becomes a nightmare.
i always trying to convince myself when i feel down. like praying, and thinking about " life's already hard enough, why you make it harder" or" why you so worried about death, even healthy people never know when gonna die"
maybe you think this stupid, but sometimes it works on me.

the harderst problems always " WHAT IF....false negative, WHAT IF......"
even my friends said " if you can't trust the result from the hospital, so where else you can trust to"

what actually they do to you? ( i mean the trerapist/physcologist)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't think that you need onother test,but if testing again will make you feel any better then of course you can do it.I know what you are going through because I was in your place too.In reality there is no ''what if'' because you was never at risk.It is all in your mind and that is why you should focus your effords on try to convince your self to believe the negative resault.Why don't you visit a therapist...someone you can talk to and let him give you advices on how you can dissmiss your fears.I am on therapy too and it has helped so much.I am defenately recomending the mental help.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
what do you think about this?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thats why my anxiety trying to kill me slowly
i always think...what if...what if....(all those bad stuffs)
so you think i should take another tests?
i was told by teak, nursegirl, vance, no need to take test, because as teak always answer the question " i never had an exposure".
but i took the test at 6 weeks, so i can move on with m life, but as i wrote above, the second SMS that makes my anxiety comeback again.
actually after i took a holidays with my dogs, my anxiety little bit lower, but i dont think they'll leave me that easy.
still thinking about those stuff when my part of body feel uncomfortable.
i never mentioned my tongue before, maybe the hot weather, maybe this anxiety, stress.etc.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Because you didn't say anything about a broken/slipped condom so you had protected sex. And because you had a test at 6 weeks.If your symptoms were caused by hiv your test would have been positive.Trust me I know about anxiety.I had the exactly same case as you.I had protected sex and I was afraid of hiv.You can take onother test at 3 months if you want but its your fear that makes you anxious and not hiv.White tongue can be a symptom of dry mouth,dry mouth is allways there when you are scared and anxious.The fact is that when you experiecing symptoms caused by hiv that means that your test is going to be positive.Your's was not.You are 100% safe from protected sex and your test proves that.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
how can you be so sure?
i had white tongue, light white coating, its make me worried.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are not in danger of hiv.You are 100% safe since you had protected sex and your 6 weeks test prooves just that.You are totally free to go.
Helpful - 0
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