Well, that's good that your immediate family is accepting if you were to end up being that way. Unfortunate about the aunts, though. I just asked because I was trying to see if there was connection regarding why you might have developed this at such an early age, you know?
You might try to find a different therapist. Some therapists' methods don't work for some people. I refused to go to therapy for the longest time after a bad experience but then I tried again and found one who really cares and is helpful. If not, maybe you can keep a journal of triggers you find in your life and make a reasonable list of ways to avoid these triggers so you don't end up making yourself miserable with these thoughts. You deserve a good quality of life!
I'm glad your sister and you can talk about this stuff and that she helped you calm down.
Thanks for responding. My family seems pro gay but I can tell my aunts and uncles aren't. Using terms as faggy and dykey. My parents however always are so "we love you no matter what" so although it would be a lot to deal with, they'd accept me. I have been in therapy since I was 9, and stopped a couple years ago since it seemed ineffective.
Seriously thanks for responding. Little triggers send me into a spiral. I talked to my sister a bit and calmed down today but it really shakes me.
I'd definitely get into therapy if you are not already, and if you are, I'd gear the next few sessions on dealing with these thoughts. There's nothing wrong if you are bisexual or even lesbian. And, for the record, I have plenty of straight female friends who enjoy gay male porn. It's something that some people enjoy regardless of sexuality. These thoughts seem like they are taking over your life and affecting your friendships. You need to learn to come to terms with the thoughts and how to best control them if that is what you and your therapist deem necessary.
Is your family really anti-lesbian/gay? or is it just an obsessive phobia you've had inexplicably?
I wish I could give you a definite answer but I can't. Maybe you're bi-sexual? Many people are and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Are you in counseling right now?