Don't quite understand -- do you have an ongoing chronic anxiety problem or is it just guilt over this one incident? As for the guilt, guilt helps us learn what not to do, and then we move on hopefully not repeating the mistake. You've learned the lesson and on that issue now it's time to move on -- this is something you don't want to do again, it doesn't matter what others think, and you've learned the right lesson -- don't drive drunk. But if you have chronic anxiety, that's a different story, and I'd ask, if you do have that and it's interfering with your life a lot are you in therapy for it? Are you doing anything to try to stop thinking that way? So the car thing isn't anxiety, that's guilt. If you let guilt fester, it can turn into depression. That's why you learn from it what it has to teach and move on. If you don't, that's insecurity. For the chronic stuff, you try to learn how not to think in a way that impedes your life. From the sound of it, you're still functioning in life, which is why I think therapy is a place to go. If you has said you weren't functioning well at all, it might be time to talk to your therapist about seeing a psychiatrist about meds, but again, it sounds like you still can do things, you just relive them afterwards and judge yourself very harshly and can't let it go. For that I think therapy, again, is the place to go to work on that. Peace.
Anxiety is awful, isn't it? You checked your car, your body and with your friends. Nothing happened. I guess there is a good lesson in that drinking alcohol can be dangerous and lead to accidents if you drive . .. . drinking and driving (or being high from pot) is illegal and dangerous. Just say not to that ALWAYS. And if drinking brings on anxiety because you 'can't remember things', you are drinking too much and shouldn't
But in terms of this event, let it go. And anxiety should be addressed. Have you talked to your doctor about it? Have you ever gotten any professional help for it?
PS we ALL make mistakes at times and have regrets. You shouldn't beat yourself up for being human but learning from it is essential. good luck
Gosh, I'm really sorry you lost your child. That's almost impossible for me to think about as that is so traumatic for a mom! Was it a custody thing that caused you to lose your child? Not to pry.
We have excellent substance abuse/ addiction forums here with lots of people in recovery. I highly recommend it. A slip up or relapse is sadly not too uncommon. Take one day at a time. Also, mental health issues are so intertwined with addiction and alcohol abuse. Working on both is really essential.
But this does not sound like you have not had any sort of accident. Try to let that fear go. hugs