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I am driving myself crazy!

I suffer from a lot of anxiety, and one of my anxieties has to do with my heart. I was born with Aortic Stenosis and Regurgitation (found when I was three), and I grew up brainwashed thinking I was going to die because of it. I have seen multiple cardiologists since I was three, and I just turned 25.

I recently received some great news, which is that since my heart has stayed the same, meaning the stenosis and leak, that since I am older, it's actually better now as an adult compared to a small child with the same leak.

Here is my issue. I am paranoid about my heart. I call my cardiologist more than I should. I called him yesterday because I was having heart palpitations. I told him my heart rate has been between 63(when I wake up) to in the 90's when I am doing things.

He has a great sense of humor, and that really helps. He picked up the phone and said “So, are you dead yet?” I instantly smiled, and he reassured me that nothing has changed since I last had my echo (I go every year), and that my problems are stress related.

I still don't feel relieved. I know to watch for trouble breathing, dizziness, but because I am nuts with this, I cause those symptoms to appear as soon as I am told to look for them.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I take Ativan, but I've been on it so long, that it's like taking sugar pills. I am on a supplement regimen for about a year now, which has treated my anxiety in a way no medication has ever done. I did miss a few days of my supplements, and I think that's why I am going through this.

I have stopped drinking diet soda, and I am cutting caffeine from my very poor diet.

Thanks for reading this! I appreciate it, and I really need some reassurance so I don't make an unnecessary appointment and drive my situation worse.


PS: I am on an SNRI and alpha blocker, along with supplements and enalapril
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