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I cannot take the pain and fear

I sometimes cannot breath, cannot speak, am just frozen. I cry sometimes why why why am I like this??? I scream sometimes and I'm lost all the time why why why?! Not understood nobody cares! Ahh can't breath!!! Why why why?!?
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Avatar universal
hello lizzy------you there?
if you don't feel like posting here send me another note ok?
omhome
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Avatar universal
how is your energy today lizzy? And it doesn't have to be a song. It could be a poem---a short story! I like playing around with really really short stories. Like just 10 sentences long.   Like a haiku short story! I make it a game. Ever tried something like that? Let us know how it is going today hon---i am worried for you and care about you. You remind me of my youngest daughter---a gemini---poor girl! And artistic--sensitive.  She luckily found and fell in love with dance---jazz dance!  
     Ok lizzy---say hi to some new friends.
     omhome
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Avatar universal
hi lizzy:  i think it is really good for you to keep writing your songs and poems and when you are ready you might like to share one of them with us here.      
       Creative people often have to deal with anxiety and intense feelings because they are so sensitive. Especially when you are young it is hard to know how to channel that energy. Do you have a way that you do that now lizzy? And how about any physical activity---dance---yoga----sports?
      OK whaddaya say! Got a song to share?

omhome
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
I'm not sure where you're getting that anyone here is calling you weak minded.  Of course we don't think that.  You have to remember that you're posting among people who have suffered their own anxiety, some of us for decades.  None of us consider ourselves weak minded, why would we think that about you?  You seem to be getting defensive..no one is doing anything but offering suggestions and trying to help you.

It sounds like you are traumatized based on having a medical condition that required you to undergo a lot of stressful procedures and surgeries.  That's a normal reaction, and again, something that the right therapist could help you work through.  If a former therapist called you weak minded, I would agree 100% that they were a lousy counselor, as anxiety has nothing to do with that.  It's thought processes that we have to work to change...a condtioning if you will.
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Avatar universal
I know I know I've tried so many times I've herd counselor, weak young child, WEAK! I AM NOT WEAK I AM STRONG IN MIND AND HEART READ MY NOTES YOU'LL ALL SEE!!!
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Avatar universal
When you were seeing a counselor were you treated for post traumatic disorder? With having that many surgeries it's going to effect you mentally when you are so young.
You really should think about counseling again. See a couple of them to find out if you like them. You don't have to stay with any that you don't like.
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Avatar universal
I've had 27 surgerys done to my brain 7 to my legs 15 to my back I don't see that as a 1 or 2 by the way I may be young but I learned and understood why do everyone think I'm weak minded
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480448 tn?1426948538
Well, no, I'm not you, you're right dear, but you asked for help, and that's what I'm trying to offer you.  I've lived with anxiety all of my life, and through the years, I've learned what works and what doesn't.  

You're very young, way too young to have such strong preconceived notions about something as important as the care of a doctor.  Without understanding what you could have went through, I can only say that not every experience will be the same...and unless you try, you'll never know maybe how great some doctors can be.  As you get older, hopefully you'll come to realize that holding onto such a strong opinion based on one or two experiences isn't the way to go.  Most times, you only end up limiting yourself.  

Just like you can't judge every dentist based on a bad root canal, or every teacher based on a bad grade, you cannot assume ALL doctors will treat you in the same way.  I've also learned from working with docs for 20 years that if you COMMUNICATE clearly to them what your needs are, and what your fears are, a lot of them will listen and be open to hearing your concerns.

I'm not sure what else to offer you, other than to tell you to be sure you're turning to your loved ones for support, and maybe at some point, someone will convince you to give the professionals another try.

Good luck to you.
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Avatar universal
You don't know what they put me through so many treatments I have so many scars that everyone is scared of me! They put images in my head that ill never unsee if you were me you'd know but you're not.
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480448 tn?1426948538
Well, sweetie, you probably DO have some very good reasons for your distrust of doctors, but in order to get better, you're going to have to try to open your mind and get past that.  Same with your views on therapy.

MANY times it takes a person a few different therapists (eveb many sometimes) until they find the "right fit".  I've had many therapists, some were perfect for me, others weren't as great.  The great thing about therapists, they are all different, and due to people all having unique personalities, there is a therapist out there for everyone.  Some people need a more gentle approach, some need a tougher therapist.  Some people need a therapist to be able to use humor, some need them to have an understanding about a certain personal problem the patient has.  So, you may have to do several test drives before you find the one that meets your needs.

So, you must try to open your mind a little and ditch the preconceived notions, otherwise you're really limiting the kind of help you need, that would lead to you being able to manage the anxiety.  Also, remember that most of the success a person has is directy related to what kind of work THEY are willing to do.  The KEY to managing anxiety is really what the PATIENT is willing to do to help themselves.  If a person is closed off to a lot of ideas, progress will be hard to come by.  Please just give that some thought.  

Best to you.
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Avatar universal
I have many reasons not to trust doctors that you won't understand
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Avatar universal
i can give you one reason why lizzy: your body is growing and changing really really fast right now hon and all kinds of chemicals are coursing thru your body looking for a balance and they haven't found it yet. And there are some easy tests you can get that are going to help you  a lot and pretty darn quickly too.
     As for doctors--yeah some of them are jerks---but most of them are just wanting to relieve your pain lizzy. I suggest a woman-only search for a doc you can relate to----who isn't phony. There are also some not-phoney counselors---women only----who can help. Maybe at school---or a women's clinic. Can you find someone---your mom for sure if you guys get along--or like a fav aunt or teacher or coach or big sister---someone to  help you with appointments and hormone tests and stuff like that. And keep posting and telling us more about you---we do care hon----so the women here can help you better. And they will lizzy--so get to posting.
      And you can make it five deep breaths (not forced deep) instead of ten at first. Don't hyperventilate  just slow the breath and in your inner voice say to yourself with each slow (not too slow) breath "relaxing lizzy relaxing ahhhh" or something like that---you decide. Then whenever you start to feeling anxious again you do the same thing---you condition a relaxation response---it's pretty cool how well this works so let me know how it went lizzy.  OK?

omhome
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Avatar universal
I one don't like doctors two I've tried couselers they drive me crazy! Its all a act!
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1696489 tn?1370821974
Aaawww!  Concentrate on breathing slowly, deeply, for a count of ten each time, until you can breathe normally without thinking about it.  This will help you immensely.  Then please seek treatment for anxiety from your doctor.  It could be a simple as a mild anti-anxiety med needed to make you feel better. :)  Counseling wouldn't hurt either.  Prayers and Blessings for you - Blu
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Avatar universal
I kind of had a breakdown
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Avatar universal
what's going on lizzy
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