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3166043 tn?1514260018

I can't take this much longer

I am TIRED of being anxious. I am tired of panic attacks. I'm tired of being held up in my room for almost a week. I'm tired of worrying about SILLY STUPID LITTLE THINGS like my next bowel movement or am I going to throw up today? (I'm absolutely terrified of throwing up (I have severe emotephobia) and I always associate having diarrhea with throwing up and I had a random bout of diahreea yesterday and I keep thinking "Why? What if they're something wrong with me? What if I have bowel cancer? What if I have the stomach flu and I throw up?)
I started my period last Sunday and I'm always VERY anxious and depressed during the entire week. I've talked to my doctor and he recommended a Vitamin B medley and an anti inflammatory and I'm supposed to go get my blood done to test my iron levels and such because I have such HEAVY periods (like the first day I can drip down my leg and pool on the floor bad) I keep telling myself that I got that random diarrhea from being on my period but my anxiety is telling me different. I sometimes get random bouts of diahreea a couple times a few months. My doctor told me that I have IBS that goes along with my anxiety but i'm convinced I either have colon cancer, colitos or something more serious. When I had that random bout of diahree I had pressure, lots of gas and a little bit of abdominal pain. I've had it before when I get my random bouts. IS THAT NORMAL? I don't get it. When i'm anxious or have my period I have 0 to no appetite so I haven't been eating much. This past week I've  been eating when I can. Like bagels with cream cheese, bread with peanut butter, cheese and crackers. I managed to have some pizza today but now i'm worried it's going to give me diarrhea cause I haven't been eating much lately so my body will be confused and be like "oh now we have to digest this." I don't want to go through this anymore. IM SICK OF BEING ANXIOUS. I'm always anxious. I want to cut myself SO BAD you have no idea. (I've been a self harmer since I was 12. I'm 23 now but i've been clean since November. No idea.) I wanna crawl out of my skin. I don't want to get out of bed. I've been sleeping ALOT, not eating enough. I can't even cry but I have a feeling I will. Someone please tell me that everything i'm experiencing is normal?
Even when i'm in bed and I start thinking "Uh oh what if I have diarrhea?"
I START TO TRICK MY MIND INTO FEELING LIKE I HAVE TO GO. Is THAT normal?
God I want this too end. I'm scared to eat anything big besides bread with the fear i'll have diarrhea which will then lead me to think i'm sick and i'll throw up.  I wish I was dead. I'm tired of the anxiety disorder, the panic disorder, the agoraphobia and the social anxiety disorder i've been dealing with for years on years. I ******* HATE my life.
Best Answer
480448 tn?1426948538
Hi again!

I can totally comiserate.  When my anxiety/panic is at a debilitating level, I get so fed up too.  I just want to cry.  It's maddening.  It's awful, especially to have anxiety riddled thoughts 24/7.  I totally understand what you're going through.

What you describe with your bowels sounds 100% normal to me.  I know when it's that time of the month for me, I usually have some diarrhea and some upset stomach feelings (just not feeling that great).  So, yes, it's normal and probably related to both your period and the anxiety.  Anxiety commonly causes diarrhea and other GI symptoms, so the cycle can be fierce.  

Diarrhea---->anxiety over diarrhea---->more diarrhea---->more anxiety.

What are you doing right now to address the anxiety?  Are you on any medications or in therapy?  Clearly, you need to either step up your efforts to address the anxiety, or start formulating a plan to address it with a professional if you aren't already working a treatment plan.

I personally think you would benefit from both meds AND therapy but therapy is where the REAL progress will happen for you.  You need to be coached on how to stop this "what if" thinking, the catastrophizing.  That's critical.  CBT therapy would be very beneficial for you as that's it's primary goal, to change the way a person thinks.

I feel for you sweetie.  Know you're not alone...keep fighting.  We're here for you as always.  Call your doc and have a sit down to see what you can do to start getting this to a more manageable level.

Hang in there!
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Avatar universal
i am sorry dear but it is to late .once the doctor doeses you .i have been on clonazapam for years i tried to go off cold turkey and then things got really bad having terible thoughts like really bad thoughts i can not escape  .hearing voices ,phantom music,loud bangs ,and constant rining  in my ear,where i just want t shoot my self in the head ,a word of advice if you ever try to come off them do it really really slowly ,
Helpful - 0
6579347 tn?1388502368
I feel your pain!  I've learned a lot about anxiety over the last couple of months.

First of all, your pre-during-post menstrual hormones can through your body out of whack and impact your anxiety, as I learned from my psych NP this week.  

Hunger is something your body will process when it's at rest.  Since anxiety is a "fight or flight" chemical, your body thinks it's "working" and you won't feel hungry.  Your body is also only going to focus on the most important processes - circulation and respiration - when it's "working", so it will find ways to off-load the systems it deems not as important - like digestion.  So that's another reason you can experience GI distress.  Also, when your body is "working" it craves fast fuel - such as carbs.  When my anxiety is bad, all I want is dry cereal and toast.  But the problem here is that carbs are a fast fuel, which means you burn through it super fast.  This can start to lower your blood sugar, which also can increase anxiety.  

It's a vicious cycle, I know!  You've gotten some good advice from the other posters here.  I highly recommend therapy, it's been a huge plus for me as I've had to re-program my thinking from "what if"-ing myself into panics.  If you're on medication and still struggling, I would consider reaching out to your doctor about your concerns.

I know it's hard - hang in there!  Better days are coming, I know!  Sending you hopes for a good Friday!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey there.

Don't feel alone and like you are the only one that has these kinds of problems. I myself am 22 and for about the past 5 years, have had pretty bad anxiety related to OCD. I don't think it has been as bad as yours but I have gone through some pretty bad anxiety. I am also a bit of a hypochondriac and currently I am worrying about whether the anxiety has damaged my heart (I have heart palpitations which the doctor said were nothing to worry about but they still put me on edge a little). I have gotten a lot better with the anxiety however, hopefully things continue this way.

After reading your personal experiences it seems to me that you are so tangled in your own thoughts that you cannot escape. My advice to you would be to take a week where you don't think about your digestive problems at all or on your anxiety. Take a good shower, stretch, go for a jog, sleep well for a week and whatever you do don't think about your anxiety or health problems. After a week, your mind will probably be a lot clearer and you might even look back and think about your problems from a new angle. Anyways, hope you get better and if you have any questions feel free to message me or something.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Keep in mind that medication can also cause bowel problems, particularly because these meds often interfere with magnesium absorption (and sometimes vice versa).  I would wonder, though, if you're on that many meds and you're still that anxious, it sounds like they're piling the meds on top of meds that don't work instead of finding something that helps and then maybe augmenting it.  Proper augmentation requires that the first med actually does something for you; if it doesn't, you don't add to it, you try something else.  I would also suggest seeing a holistic nutritionist if you can afford it, because what you say you're eating suggests you're adding to your problems.  Bread is often suggested as a bland diet, but wheat is a problem for most people, particularly the high carb white flours found in bagels and pizza, and dairy is another common problem.  So what you're eating to combat your fear might actually be causing you more problems.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have broken down a few times myself. My worry was a terminal illness because I showed a sign if it.  However, it is a sign if other things too.  I am still waiting for my bloodwork but my anxiety had created many symptoms that I did not have before the discovery.  A good you tuber that helped me calm down is infinite waters (diving deep).  Look him up, hopefully it can help u as it helped me
Helpful - 0
3166043 tn?1514260018
Thank you! This is what I wanted to hear.

Yes I am on medication. Lexapro, Serequel, Valium and Propananol.
I'm currently in therapy since January and in CBT. I am supposed to actually be working on catastrophizing but my minds been so uptight I can't manage.

Anxiety is terrible. I hate it so much. And thank you so much
Helpful - 0
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