I don't even know anymore...

[JustAGuyLookinForAdvice]

Recently I've been feeling like everything and everyone is fake, and that I am the only real, truly alive and thinking person. That all my surroundings are fake. That everyone is an NPC with no thoughts or feelings, and that they just "live" as mindless beings. And because of this, I think and feel as if I'm asking for advice and help from a bunch of mindless, fake people. I feel and think as if everything is meaningless, because everyone is a fake, mindless NPC, and not real people like me.  No matter how many logical points or ideas are thrown at me and this dumb idea, I continue to feel it and somewhat believe it. Maybe it's because I've always been a very skeptical and anxious person that thinks of and believes in nonsensical, idiotic, and just plain stupid ideas. Idk

I know everything is real. That everyone is real. That y'all are real. That all my loved ones are real. That my love and memories are real, and are not made with fake, mindless NPC's. I know all of it is real. Yet, why do I believe it?

Sometimes I think, maybe a powerful being/s made only me real, but made everything and everyone else fake in this world. Maybe as torture. Or an experiment, test, or project. Maybe just as some sick joke. Maybe they planned everything just for me.

This is only one of the countless dumb ideas and theories I think of.

I feel hopeless. Why does life have to be so hard? Y'all are real. Everything and everyone is real. Right???

Right?

[specialmom]

Hm. There is something called derealization and depersonalization.  They are obviously mental health related.  Do you think, however, you are suffering some psychosis? Here is information on this. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352911  It does sound very similar to what you describe. Psychotherapy can be very helpful and the same medications that treat depression and anxiety are what are often used.