Avatar universal

I don't know what to do


I have just stumbled across this website and saw that it seems like a good place to go. I am a male, 19 years of age and I am currently in University but struggling with my social life. For as long as I can remember I have always had slight anxiety, such as not not speaking aloud in audiences, not eating in front of people other than family etc., but I was pretty happy and had a modest amount of friends. In the past few years it feels like my anxiety is getting worse, purposely avoiding people just to not have a conversation, not making new friends or going out places with old ones and just feeling like I was going to throw up when asked a question in front of just a couple people even if I knew them. Since leaving college and going to University my anxiety has gotten a lot worse, I cannot bring myself to talk to almost anyone and am even afraid to say hello to my flat mates anymore, in fact I time my routine in the mornings and afternoons just so that I don't bump into one. I speak to only 1 or 2 people from my lab classes and text a couple friends from college now and again and to be honest I only feel happy when I am back home with my family. In the last couple months I have had 3 panic attacks, once in public and two back at my apartment, before now I had never had a panic attack and quiet frankly I don't want another, and since my first one my anxiety had gotten a lot worse and am beginning to get myself into bad habits. I have pretty much lost all my self confidence and have missed numerous lectures after working myself up over the tiniest things about myself, which it beginning to affect my performance. I know what I am struggling with is just silly really and beat myself about it all the time and try my hardest to get over it and talk to more people, but when it comes to it I just can't bring myself to do it. I am tired of not having any friends and living unhappily so I would like some advice on how I can begin to start living my life again if anyone would care to help me out?

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370181 tn?1595629445
    What you are dealing with is NOT silly. Anxiety and depression can become mentally crippling if left untreated. The great news is that they CAN be treated. Often cured.

Since you are at University now, I will assume that, like here in the States, your schools have infirmaries for students.

I urge you to go there and talk to someone about what you're dealing with.

You really need to get into some therapy to help deal with these issues. If they can't offer therapy through your school, they can most assuredly recommend someone for you to see.

I highly recommend you find a therapist who uses CBT......cognitive behavioral therapy. They don't dwell on why you wouldn't eat green jello as a child, rather, they deal with your issues in the here and now.

You are obviously intelligent and self-insightful, and that is a great leg up.
Please don't continue to suffer with this. Don't give up any more of your life than you have already.

I know it's not easy to take those first steps, to ask for help, to feel embarrassed that you even need help......but the alternative is far worse!

Please write back if you want to talk more. We're here to support you through the process. Just want you to know that you're not alone and never have to be again.
You're going to fine!
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your reply. I have been thinking about what you said and seeing a professional but haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. One thing that has been bothering my a lot lately is that I pull my hair out on my face and decided I would look online on how I could stop myself, which was when I came across Trichotillomania. It pretty much described me exactly and as you mentioned above is linked to anxiety and depression, so I have decided I am finally going to tell my parents how I have felt. This could be my first step :)

Thank you
Helpful - 0
Hello there, I have been replying to quite a lot of threads! beause I have stumbled on a little treasure 3 days back, called the Sedona method I downloaded it and it works magic in letting go of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, the lot! I identify with you and was the same when I was younger as a result I started self medicating from alcohol to drugs and also xanax, I have come down from 3mg to 0.25mg and will be off completely in a month, why not give it a try and see if maybe it could help you . Much love Nat
Avatar universal
Getting professional help for your anxiety is a must.  I have been where you are.  I actually had to leave an out of state university to finish getting my Bachelor's Degree at a local college so I could be close to my family.  I just could not handle being all on my own far from home and making friends has always been hard for me as I am very shy.  I felt so isolated and I only made it worse by skipping classes and staying in my apartment.  After moving back home I started seeing a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with social anxiety.  I started taking medication and seeing my psychiatrist every month.  It really helped.  So I very much recommend you see a professional.
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Avatar universal

So I didn't tell anybody once again. I tried to say something but found it too difficult.

3 weeks ago I had another panic attack whilst out with my parents, my mother brought up the idea of seeing a doctor but I just ignored her. A few days later I had yet another panic attack but whilst driving on the Motorway, I pulled over quickly and my mother phoned the ambulance because she got scared as I couldn't catch my breath and got pins and needles in my hands and feet. The paramedic took me to hospital because I had an irregular heartbeat and they did a blood test and another ECG. The results came back with me just having sinus arrhythmia, but the doctor their suggested that I see my GP and so I gave in and told my Mother and made an appointment. Today I have seen my GP and he has decided I am to have some more blood taken to check Thyroid function and check for a Vitamin D deficiency, he has also decided that I should make regular visits to see him but will discuss this when the results from the blood test are back.

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Avatar universal
What up mate, i suffer from the same things, its been about 10 years now, around the same time i became a addict, i would suggest highly to talk to a therapist, you can do it with out drugs, so try that route first. it helps me to go once a week to talk to someone and let out all the stress and anxiety , i have learned what they call deep breathing which really works, do you have alot of the what ifs, what if i go and i get sick, what if im with these people in a crowd and i get a attack, if so then i suggest talking with one, the question is why havent you , what are you afraid of,  talking with someone can only help. trust me . ive been there.
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Arlington, VA
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Arlington, WA
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