I experience absolute terror beyond anxiety attacks every time I awake.

[tothworld]

My question: Every time I sleep, day (as in nap, occasionally) or night, I have strange dreams I can't put a finger on. I'm often very sad anxious and in some type of bad situation. THEN the real problem. I awake in absolute terror. I am pretty much completely dysfunctional for at least half an hour to two hours. The Vyvanse generally relieves it when it kicks in. It's as if my mind falls apart when off it. I never wake up happy to face the day, excited, etc., but instead face this same terror each and every morning. If I nap in the day, I will awake with the same reaction AGAIN and, even though Vyvanse is still active, or should be, it's as if it wore off. This lessens if I sleep longer but I'm prone to very much less than normal hours of sleep. I may even sleep less the more exhausted I am. I suspect some of it's psychological, a lot on my conscious from my alcoholic days, plus I have never been single this long and it is not by choice. Nevertheless, this is nothing like waking up in a bad mood. It's a full-throttle sensory attack accompanied by self-attacking thoughts and feelings, as if I'm being destroyed, losing my mind. Once it passes, aside from fearing recurrence on the worst days, I am "normal" except for my usual anxiety, mostly social. Can you tell me some possible causes and solutions?

[Paxiled]

Vyvanse is speed -- you're probably addicted to it.  Speed interferes with sleep.  Do you have ADHD?  This is not a drug that helps with anxiety; it can only make it worse, if anything by being so stimulating.  

[tothworld]

I thought it was in my message but, I see it's only in my profile. Yes, I have ADD, to be specific. And while I see your reasoning, I'm actually remarkably less anxious when on the medication. The ADD medication is what ends the morning attacks. That would suggest the morning thing is withdrawal but I sometimes take half or none and the next day: same thing. So I don't think that is the cause, but if anyone is on ADD meds and reports the same response, I'll be interested.

[Paxiled]

For that I'd go to the ADD forum -- the moderators will probably switch you there anyway!

[tothworld]

Thank you!

[AnxiousNoMore]

"That would suggest the morning thing is withdrawal"
Not necessarily. You might have a depression or severe anxiety that is present when you wake up, then it gets masked by the speed so you start functioning again.

[Paxiled]

And it could also mean your anxiety is caused by depression -- speed helps with depression.  

[AnxiousNoMore]

Yes since anxiety and depression go hand in hand feeding off each other in a vicious circle so you can get so agitated that you cant tell if you are more anxious or more depressed or which is the root cause.

[tothworld]

I am partially on Vyvanse because I cannot take any antidepressant whatsoever, which occurred about three to four years ago. No clue why. Thus, off Vyvanse, my depression returns to baseline. However, like many people with ADD, Vyvanse does not agitate me but rather calms me down. Thus, I suppose the answer could in part be a rebound effect in the case of both anxiety and depression? However, the morning attacks seem anxiety related. I now believe a OCD is involved, which Vyvanse at least focuses. Obviously, you can see the additional problem: I cannot take a medication that consistently relieves the depression. Frequently, I return to depressed and/or the Vyvanse wears off and I "crash." This is all so complicated. There are many simply sad circumstances in my life right now. Do they rise to depression? it's hard to tell. Where I can say it's definitely depression is the effects of my anxiety. While Vyvanse lowers my social anxiety, only to a point and a still VERY limited one. Thus, I am hemmed in by it and the effects of that feel like plenty more than "mere" sadness. I really feel it's not triggering the other but a vicious cycle. But throughout my life, anxiety has been ever present, and until the last few years, depressive episodes infrequent and generally occurred every few years, fairly quickly resolved by Prozac or el el.