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2085202 tn?1373199740

I feel like it's my time to die. Death is all I can think of.

Hello all, I'm trying to post this again to further explain myself and seek help/advice. Is left arm pain, along with heart/chest pain in the left center and right of your upper chest as well as shortness of breath, feeling cold and weak common with anxiety symptoms? I have had several Ekg's done they did say I had a right bundle branch blockage but that it was nothing fatal or to be concerned about. I do suffer from anxiety and have not been eating much what so ever due to no appetite. Not sleeping to well and i've never heard voices before but on a couple of occassions I've woke up to a demonic voice yell "Fxck you Jesus!" at 2:30 Am and recently heard one mockingly shout at me right as I was falling asleep "You are dying of heart failure" Jolting me awake with panic. Also right before this last Christmas I was woken up to feeling like I was dying in my sleep and everything was fading out my hearing went woooo spiraling down like a machine being turned off and my body was filled with love and extreme fear at the same time. What is wrong with me? I feel like it's my time and thinking maybe I really did accidently sell my soul for music. The night I broke down and finally acknowledged what I believed to be the evil spirit tormenting me I tried to trick it into thinking I was on it's side and told it I would sell my soul but I didn't really want it. In turn I saw 2 blue cartoon devil heads with cigars start out as blue dots spin up into my eyes. I'm not ready to die i'm only 26. Do your inner fears sometimes oddly manifest themselves like this? Am i under demonic attack/oppression? Am i just delusional? Why does everything look so ugly?Is it just extreme anxiety? I have lost any and all emotions and interest even for writing metal music which I've always held close in turn I have constant fear of death and fear of losing my loved ones/everything I love. I pace around the house all night short of breathe thinking about death. Can't sit still. T.V. just seems like it's all about death and too negative. I have been to the Dr. on multiple occasions.Everything always turns out decent.Before this voice I heard I had went into the E.R. several of days before and they told me I was suffering from anxiety that my Ekg looked GREAT. I still have doubts about what the Dr.s say and problems about my stress leading me into a new "real' heart problem to continue getting Ekg's but do NOT want to take advantage of health insurance. I am desperate and humbly begging for tips on getting this chest pain/left arm pain and these problems to stop. I want to live and love; to get my life back , to get out of hell. Any advice; a response at all would be greatly appreciated. What are good anxiety meds with minimal side effects? God bless.
15 Responses
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2082862 tn?1333927478
Hello!
I just want to let you know that there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel.  I understand you feel otherwise however, I have been there! It is horrible I know.  
You feel like everyday is a struggle along with the fear that you are going to die.
I wouldn't eat because I had the fear of choking. I felt I was was always in cardiac arrest.  I couldn't breath, headaches, dizzy, no sleep, OMG I have cancer!  When a full blown attack came on it felt like a warm sensation started from my toes up thru my legs right to my head. I would start to sweat, I couldn't breath, my heart was racing, my left arm would go numb and then I would start to cry hence, ANXIETY, PANIC! I would hide because of the fear that somebody would look down on me because I was nuts! I became a hermit with the phone attached to me in case I had to dial 911.
At this time Panic/anxiety disorders didn't exsist so test,after test and more tests they concluded just what I had feared. I was crazy! The doctor put me on Valium.  Then, 1yr later xanax came out.  I was a walking zombie!
As time went on my dad saw what was going on because much to my suprise he also had gone thru this.
So, moving forward everytime I had an atack or just felt anything in anyway I called him.  He came to my rescue and knowing I had him to talk to without feeling judged it got me through it all.
You can beat this!!!
This in a nut shell is a mental disorder causing a physical manifistation. In layman's terms It is your pituitary gland going into over drive then attacking your brain which then goes to all your nerve endings which is the cause of what you feel.
You need to learn how to talk yourself through it.  I DOES work, I swear! One day, It went away!
Please hang in there! If anyone needs me I am right here!
know it is hard but you need to focus mentally along with meds, if neccessary to balance you out. They also have natural meds in health stores.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
You are most likely suffering from anxiety and depression, not some kind of demonic possession.  Have you sought professional help for this?  If not, you need to do so ASAP, due to the seriousness of your symptoms, and dark thoughts.

You've been thoroughly evaluated physically, how about mentally?  That's the next logical step.

Hang in there!!
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
Thank you so much!! : ) :) :)  Your response means alot to me. I have to say I think I agree with you. My mom think it's mental and she believes I absolutely need meds. She is always getting p*ssed that I believe i'm dying. She is completely optimistic and sees no point in these Dr.s visits. Yes you are right I've been diagnosed with a brain injury at birth due to low oxygen levels plus clinical depression and have always had underlying bouts of social anxiety for as long as I can remember. It's gotta be mental, huh? I was on Risperidal for awhile and that's when all these anxieties seemed to be jump started or evolve into this current state. They told me extreme anxiety is a common side effect of Risperdal. They have weened me off of it but do you think maybe it can still be effecting me even though I stopped it? Thank you very very very much for your time/comment Nursegirl. Again it means alot to me. Take care!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi dear I'm d exactly same always fear of dying n heart concerns no escape :(
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
Hey there, this is tough!  Thank you very much for commenting. Do you have trouble eating and sleeping to? I hope you get better soon. May god bless you and help you find the help and happiness you seek. Hang in there.
Helpful - 0
2082862 tn?1333927478
Hello!
I just want to let you know that there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel.  I understand you feel otherwise however, I have been there! It is horrible I know.  
You feel like everyday is a struggle along with the fear that you are going to die.
I wouldn't eat because I had the fear of choking. I felt I was was always in cardiac arrest.  I couldn't breath, headaches, dizzy, no sleep, OMG I have cancer!  When a full blown attack came on it felt like a warm sensation started from my toes up thru my legs right to my head. I would start to sweat, I couldn't breath, my heart was racing, my left arm would go numb and then I would start to cry hence, ANXIETY, PANIC! I would hide because of the fear that somebody would look down on me because I was nuts! I became a hermit with the phone attached to me in case I had to dial 911.
At this time Panic/anxiety disorders didn't exsist so test,after test and more tests they concluded just what I had feared. I was crazy! The doctor put me on Valium.  Then, 1yr later xanax came out.  I was a walking zombie!
As time went on my dad saw what was going on because much to my suprise he also had gone thru this.
So, moving forward everytime I had an atack or just felt anything in anyway I called him.  He came to my rescue and knowing I had him to talk to without feeling judged it got me through it all.
You can beat this!!!
This in a nut shell is a mental disorder causing a physical manifistation. In layman's terms It is your pituitary gland going into over drive then attacking your brain which then goes to all your nerve endings which is the cause of what you feel.
You need to learn how to talk yourself through it.  I DOES work, I swear! One day, It went away!
Please hang in there! If anyone needs me I am right here!
You need to focus mentally along with meds, if neccessary to balance you out. They also have natural meds in health stores.
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
Oh my gosh, thank you so much Dollface! You really nailed it right on. This is exactly how I've been. Constantly keeping the phone on me in case of emergency.Having left arm / chest / heart pain. Worried about cancer. As of now i've got what i'm hoping are just pimples on my neck thinking that they're cancer!!! This has got to stop as I can not function and move forward or go to school like this.Thank you so very much for shedding light on all of this. This has been so scary , debilitating and hellish. If you could give me the names of these anxiety meds you recommend I would GREATLY appreciate it. : ) Did zanax help? I'd honestly rather be a zombie then constantly in panic on edge and losing it. ;) I'm so happy for you to have found the help/support you needed and to have gotten better. Also how do you talk to yourself? Do you mean like self reassurance? Thank you again Dollface,this means alot to me. Any further advice on meds and self help would mean alot. Thank you so much.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi :)

First of all i want to say that im so sorry that your going through all this

the people above me are right i think you have severe anxiety its best that you see a doctor so that they can give you the right meds i had slight anxiety before my dr. gave me xanor for 1 week and everything went back to normal well sometimes you just have to fight it!!!
i would always tell myself God is with me, he will not leave me, he will help  it always works for me

Do you know that God loves you and he will take care of you all you have to do is ask and let him in :)

this is my favorite bible verse that i would like to share with you maybe when you feel overwhelm with anxiety ut will help you calm down

Jerimiah 29:11

For i know the plans I have for you declares the Lord  plans to prosper you and not to harm you
plans to give you hope and a future

what a wonderful promise right:)

i hope that you get better soon
God bless you
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
Thank you SO much lot. I'm starting to see the truth alot more lately. I believe all of you. I agree I need some proper anxiety meds. You are right god CAN help! :) :) I went to this church and knelt down in front of the alter and something hit me. I broke out into tears and never felt better that whole day was beautiful. I'd like to go back and see if it happens again. I just don't know how to make it last for more then a day as it all seemed to come back and get worse later. =/ Thank you very much for your time/comment. P.S. xanor helped? Is it like xanax?
Helpful - 0
2082862 tn?1333927478
Hello there!
There are numerous meds out there.  Through the years the meds have changed however, I know many people that suffer this disorder and the best one seems to be Paxil along with Xanax to sleep (if neccessary) Everyone on this is MUCH better to date.
I like the holistic meds. Here are my favorites for anxiety/panic attacks.

Ginkgo Biloba, This is to improve circulation to the brain, it also elevates mood and is often used as a natural antidepressant.

St. Johns Wort , exerts an antidepressant effect by inhibiting the reuptake of the neurotransmitters serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine.

Passion Flower, acts as a non-drowsy, natural sedative that relieves the nervousness, anxiety and panic attacks.

Meadow Sweet relieves headaches from anxiety and stress.

You cannot take paxil with these herbs because thay can cause serious interactions. I would do Herbs or Paxil, either or. Bare in mind that once you start any meds/herbs it does take a couple of weeks to start working.  Don't stop thinking it's not working!
Just to give you a tip or two that not many know. Drinking large amounts of alcohol brings on anxiety. It affects the levels of serotonin in the brain. Seritonin is the chemical in the brain that allows you to feel good. If it's in short supply then it causes anxiety.  Seritonin is what is in Paxil and the herb St. Johns Wort.
A drop in blood sugar can also trigger anxiety. So, eat right.

I chose the holistic way and to me it worked just as good if not better.
I dont have any attacks anymore. Again, it is not only the herbs/meds but excersise & conditioning your mind to overcome it plays a major part. When it happens to you keep telling yourself it will go away...it's not real and you wont die. Cry if you need to.  It feels better to let it out.
I know, easier said then done but it works for me and many others.
You need to consult a doctor for paxil.
Do this immedietly so you can get on with your life!
Let me know your thoughts.  I am always here if you need me:-)
Dollface:-)


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh I'm suffering very badly as well I ve this constant pressure in my head
If I'm lying on bed b get up I feel it n for 2 to 4 sec it takes to Becum normal I dnt kno if this Is anxiety migrane or sumthing else n I ve fear of dying too
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi there, its strange but many people including myself are having these kind of thoughts about dying, i honestley think its an anxiety caused by the general state of this crazy world, financial problems and our uncaring so called leaders, but i have found that a prayer to the lord in faith really helps me to calm down, im not saying this is for everyone but it wont hurt anyone to give it a try, i also suffer from chronic pain and realise meds are also needed, but take heart my friends, you are never alone..marshman344
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
Thank you so much Dollface! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) That is very sweet of you to take the time to help. This has helped me considerably and I will definitly ask my Dr. about zanax. I'm weary about Paxil as I've heard/read up on alot of people who have had problems with severe withdrawl symptoms? I like the idea of the holistic way to! Can you do xanax and herbs at the same time without dangerous interactions? Thank you so much again Dollface. You really shed alot of light on this. God bless you and you take care :):) :) :)
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
Hey hang in there Sagitarius. It definitly sounds like anxiety. You are not alone. Have you gotten any anxiety meds or therapy? That's what I'm gonna do and it seriously helps! Take care and hang in there.
Helpful - 0
2085202 tn?1373199740
I agree marshman! There is alot of craziness going on in this world. Hell, anytime you turn on the T.V. it's awful. I totally agree with you and there is deff. no harm in praying. Thank you very much for your time and comment!
Helpful - 0
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